My 26F Gf is having a hard time cumming and she’s getting really down on herself /u/KoozieKid Sex

Hi guys looking for some advice here. Sorry in advance for the long post, but I want to be thorough in order to get the best advice possible.

I recently started dating this girl and everything has been great, and unlike the title suggests, including the sex. A bit of sexual background about us; I’m a very open person when it comes to it. Sex is so fascinating for me not only physically but psychologically, to the point where I’m even thinking of going back to school to become a sex therapist. I love talking about all aspects of it but I know there are a lot of people who either still consider it taboo or are just shy about it, my gf is the latter. I’d say I’m a lot more experienced than her and more open to talk about it than her. She’s rather shy and is still in the process of coming out of her shell towards me as we’ve really only started having sex for about a month or so, which I totally understand and I don’t mind moving at her pace to make her comfortable. It kind of took her back how open to talking about it I was; asking her what she likes, dislikes, getting to know her body and exploring things she’s never had anyone try to understand for her. She’s expressed interest in some of the things I like that she herself has never tried in regards to BDSM but I think it’s subconsciously made her nervous due to lack of experience. I try to reassure her as best I can that there’s no pressure for her to jump into things so fast and that we can experiment little by little, I mean tbh the taking the role of teaching her these things honestly turns me on even more so I have no issue with going slow.

Now to the issue at hand. Our sex has been great; it’s passionate, long, very frequent, satisfying, and intimate. The only “problem” is that she has a hard time actually cumming. She has never finished through penetration with anyone, which is super normal and prefers to be stimulated from her clit whether that’s by hand or with my tongue. I actually love this cause I thoroughly enjoy giving head and pleasuring my partner. I get off more so on her pleasure than mine. She gets turned on extremely easily to the point where making out for a few seconds and she’s already soaking wet, which in turn gets me going all the more. She is always wanting to jump my bones and says she’s never had anyone turn her on as much, so the attraction is definitely there. The problem lies with finishing, which she has no problem doing on her own with a vibrator/toys, but when it comes to doing it with me, in her own words, “she gets in her own head”. This isn’t a new or foreign concept and it happens to everyone, but she’s becoming really self conscious about it and I can tell she’s blaming herself. I am a very vocal and communicative person when it comes to sex and I’ve tried to get her to talk me through it to help her out, but for whatever reason she has this block she can’t get over. I fear that the longer this goes the more down on herself she’s going to be cause she wants to so bad but can’t. On my end I try to be as reassuring as possible telling her it’s no big deal and it’ll happen and just to be communicative with me during so I can help her out. Like I mentioned before she’s never had someone try to understand her this way so I don’t know if it’s having sort of an opposite effect where it’s making her even more nervous. Do y’all think this is just a case of her having to get more comfortable with me? Or is there something I can do better to help her get over this mental obstacle? Hell it could honestly even be my fault and I’m not realizing it. I’ll answer any questions in the comments for more info since this is already incredibly long (sorry lol).

Hi guys looking for some advice here. Sorry in advance for the long post, but I want to be thorough in order to get the best advice possible.

I recently started dating this girl and everything has been great, and unlike the title suggests, including the sex. A bit of sexual background about us; I’m a very open person when it comes to it. Sex is so fascinating for me not only physically but psychologically, to the point where I’m even thinking of going back to school to become a sex therapist. I love talking about all aspects of it but I know there are a lot of people who either still consider it taboo or are just shy about it, my gf is the latter. I’d say I’m a lot more experienced than her and more open to talk about it than her. She’s rather shy and is still in the process of coming out of her shell towards me as we’ve really only started having sex for about a month or so, which I totally understand and I don’t mind moving at her pace to make her comfortable. It kind of took her back how open to talking about it I was; asking her what she likes, dislikes, getting to know her body and exploring things she’s never had anyone try to understand for her. She’s expressed interest in some of the things I like that she herself has never tried in regards to BDSM but I think it’s subconsciously made her nervous due to lack of experience. I try to reassure her as best I can that there’s no pressure for her to jump into things so fast and that we can experiment little by little, I mean tbh the taking the role of teaching her these things honestly turns me on even more so I have no issue with going slow.

Now to the issue at hand. Our sex has been great; it’s passionate, long, very frequent, satisfying, and intimate. The only “problem” is that she has a hard time actually cumming. She has never finished through penetration with anyone, which is super normal and prefers to be stimulated from her clit whether that’s by hand or with my tongue. I actually love this cause I thoroughly enjoy giving head and pleasuring my partner. I get off more so on her pleasure than mine. She gets turned on extremely easily to the point where making out for a few seconds and she’s already soaking wet, which in turn gets me going all the more. She is always wanting to jump my bones and says she’s never had anyone turn her on as much, so the attraction is definitely there. The problem lies with finishing, which she has no problem doing on her own with a vibrator/toys, but when it comes to doing it with me, in her own words, “she gets in her own head”. This isn’t a new or foreign concept and it happens to everyone, but she’s becoming really self conscious about it and I can tell she’s blaming herself. I am a very vocal and communicative person when it comes to sex and I’ve tried to get her to talk me through it to help her out, but for whatever reason she has this block she can’t get over. I fear that the longer this goes the more down on herself she’s going to be cause she wants to so bad but can’t. On my end I try to be as reassuring as possible telling her it’s no big deal and it’ll happen and just to be communicative with me during so I can help her out. Like I mentioned before she’s never had someone try to understand her this way so I don’t know if it’s having sort of an opposite effect where it’s making her even more nervous. Do y’all think this is just a case of her having to get more comfortable with me? Or is there something I can do better to help her get over this mental obstacle? Hell it could honestly even be my fault and I’m not realizing it. I’ll answer any questions in the comments for more info since this is already incredibly long (sorry lol).