Scared Of Having Sex With New Partners /u/FRNCTHRWAYACC Sex

The title may sound a bit strange but I’ll do my best to describe what’s going through my head. I (20M) got out of my last and only relationship 1 Year and 3 months ago. I was in that relationship for almost 3 years and for most of that relationship we were sexually active. However I feel as if I didn’t gain any real sexual skills. She was very inexperienced with herself. So it made it difficult to learn. But that’s not what I’m really here to talk about.

We did end up getting a bit more creative and what not but still she was very vanilla. Vanilla as in missionary for 5 minutes then done. She didn’t want me to eat her out, she wasn’t into any foreplay that lasted longer than 2 minutes. It just always felt like I was having sex but wasn’t learning skills. As said before, I didn’t learn how to eat her out, she didn’t let me play with her clit, it was just making out and thrusting. Very frustrating. That whole relationship is a different discussion.

I haven’t had sex with anyone since I broke up with her. I have some other social anxiety issues that prevent me from talking to women but this is probably the worst one. Because I’m so terrified that the second I might hook up with a girl, it’s gonna be so fucking bad and embarrassing. Especially as a 20 year old male that had sex for like 2 and a half years there’s no excuse to a woman why I would be so bad at sex.

I feel like women should be expecting some experience or skill and I feel like I’m a virgin again. I don’t feel like a man. I feel fucking pathetic. I see guys my age flirting and talking to girls and I just feel like a fucking loser. I feel like I’m not good enough for women my age because they have expectations I could never meet. I wouldn’t be able to satisfy, which is what I would want. It’s just completely turned me off from even wanting to talk to women (if that intention for either party would be present).

I did get the opportunity of potentially hooking up with a girl I met and when I was supposed to go pick her up for us to go out, I got so scared I ghosted her. Which is very wrong of me to do but the fear of embarrassment was so strong I ran like a coward. I couldn’t help it.

I don’t really know what I’m asking it’s just been on my mind for so long. I’m wondering if anyone can relate or has maybe been where I’m at. Thanks to all in advance.

TL;DR: Was in a sexually active relationship for almost 3 years straight but the sex was very vanilla and didn’t learn a lot of sexual skills. I have a very strong performance fear because of this and I don’t feel like I’m good at sex at all.

The title may sound a bit strange but I’ll do my best to describe what’s going through my head. I (20M) got out of my last and only relationship 1 Year and 3 months ago. I was in that relationship for almost 3 years and for most of that relationship we were sexually active. However I feel as if I didn’t gain any real sexual skills. She was very inexperienced with herself. So it made it difficult to learn. But that’s not what I’m really here to talk about.

We did end up getting a bit more creative and what not but still she was very vanilla. Vanilla as in missionary for 5 minutes then done. She didn’t want me to eat her out, she wasn’t into any foreplay that lasted longer than 2 minutes. It just always felt like I was having sex but wasn’t learning skills. As said before, I didn’t learn how to eat her out, she didn’t let me play with her clit, it was just making out and thrusting. Very frustrating. That whole relationship is a different discussion.

I haven’t had sex with anyone since I broke up with her. I have some other social anxiety issues that prevent me from talking to women but this is probably the worst one. Because I’m so terrified that the second I might hook up with a girl, it’s gonna be so fucking bad and embarrassing. Especially as a 20 year old male that had sex for like 2 and a half years there’s no excuse to a woman why I would be so bad at sex.

I feel like women should be expecting some experience or skill and I feel like I’m a virgin again. I don’t feel like a man. I feel fucking pathetic. I see guys my age flirting and talking to girls and I just feel like a fucking loser. I feel like I’m not good enough for women my age because they have expectations I could never meet. I wouldn’t be able to satisfy, which is what I would want. It’s just completely turned me off from even wanting to talk to women (if that intention for either party would be present).

I did get the opportunity of potentially hooking up with a girl I met and when I was supposed to go pick her up for us to go out, I got so scared I ghosted her. Which is very wrong of me to do but the fear of embarrassment was so strong I ran like a coward. I couldn’t help it.

I don’t really know what I’m asking it’s just been on my mind for so long. I’m wondering if anyone can relate or has maybe been where I’m at. Thanks to all in advance.

TL;DR: Was in a sexually active relationship for almost 3 years straight but the sex was very vanilla and didn’t learn a lot of sexual skills. I have a very strong performance fear because of this and I don’t feel like I’m good at sex at all.