20F, think I finally feel ready for my first sexual experience but just not sure! /u/goingaway_throwaway Sex

I mean, how do you really know? Sometimes I feel so far removed from the idea of having sex, like it’s for other people and not for me. I’ve (very) casually dated before, but nothing physical ever happened because I always sort of decided I wasn’t ready.

Now I’m going to another country for uni in a week and I feel like I should open myself up to the idea of having sex. I’ll be there 6 months. It’s the first time I’ll really be around my peers all the time so I guess I’ll have the opportunity.

I have insecurities as well as a somewhat religious upbringing, so I do feel that sort of weird feeling that sex is “wrong” somehow. And I’m very scared of it going wrong, like pain or getting assaulted (like a guy going further than I want to). But I also feel like I go through phases of wanting that intimacy and I masturbate. It’s just always felt easier to just imagine things than to actually initiate something.

Also none of my friends are virgins, in fact my best friend is a sort of “one new guy per week” type of girl so we talk a lot about her hookups and stuff. My friends in general definitely make fun of me for being so inexperienced, which makes me feel like it’s kind of silly for me to even think about it.

Also I’m worried what a guy around my age will think about a girl who hasn’t ever done anything sexual. I feel they’ll think I’m a prude which I’m not, I think, or would rather spend their time pursuing more experienced girls. I don’t even know if a guy would want to have sex with me.

Anyways as you can probably tell I’m really freaked out and could really use some advice about knowing if I’m ready and maybe how to approach this over the next few months of my life. I really don’t have anyone I can talk to about it since like I said my friends would probably just think I was joking.

I mean, how do you really know? Sometimes I feel so far removed from the idea of having sex, like it’s for other people and not for me. I’ve (very) casually dated before, but nothing physical ever happened because I always sort of decided I wasn’t ready.

Now I’m going to another country for uni in a week and I feel like I should open myself up to the idea of having sex. I’ll be there 6 months. It’s the first time I’ll really be around my peers all the time so I guess I’ll have the opportunity.

I have insecurities as well as a somewhat religious upbringing, so I do feel that sort of weird feeling that sex is “wrong” somehow. And I’m very scared of it going wrong, like pain or getting assaulted (like a guy going further than I want to). But I also feel like I go through phases of wanting that intimacy and I masturbate. It’s just always felt easier to just imagine things than to actually initiate something.

Also none of my friends are virgins, in fact my best friend is a sort of “one new guy per week” type of girl so we talk a lot about her hookups and stuff. My friends in general definitely make fun of me for being so inexperienced, which makes me feel like it’s kind of silly for me to even think about it.

Also I’m worried what a guy around my age will think about a girl who hasn’t ever done anything sexual. I feel they’ll think I’m a prude which I’m not, I think, or would rather spend their time pursuing more experienced girls. I don’t even know if a guy would want to have sex with me.

Anyways as you can probably tell I’m really freaked out and could really use some advice about knowing if I’m ready and maybe how to approach this over the next few months of my life. I really don’t have anyone I can talk to about it since like I said my friends would probably just think I was joking.