I (23f) can’t remember having sex with men I know I had sex with. Is it because I dissociated the whole time? /u/Crashxing Sex

I’m not sure where to ask this so I’m sorry if this is the wrong place.

I can remember certain things about the relationship, random conversations, eating at a restaurant and other mundane details. I remember walking into their hotel room or bedroom, but my memory is blank as to what happened inside. This is the case with at least 4 men. I have a memory of walking out of a hotel with a man and him carrying a sexy outfit that presumably I wore but again I have no memory of it. I don’t recall being scared or hurt. I wasn’t drunk in any of these cases.

Another man, I remember having drinks with him and another time him coming over to my apartment and giving me something sexual and walking into my bedroom with him. I assume we had sex but I have no memory of it.

I can understand blocking out certain memories if it was traumatic. That would make sense right? For years I blocked out some very bad ones and eventually they surfaced. But these memories are different because I remember other details confirming the relationship and I don’t really have reason to believe anything sexually abusive happened.

So what happened and why did I forget?

I’m not sure where to ask this so I’m sorry if this is the wrong place.

I can remember certain things about the relationship, random conversations, eating at a restaurant and other mundane details. I remember walking into their hotel room or bedroom, but my memory is blank as to what happened inside. This is the case with at least 4 men. I have a memory of walking out of a hotel with a man and him carrying a sexy outfit that presumably I wore but again I have no memory of it. I don’t recall being scared or hurt. I wasn’t drunk in any of these cases.

Another man, I remember having drinks with him and another time him coming over to my apartment and giving me something sexual and walking into my bedroom with him. I assume we had sex but I have no memory of it.

I can understand blocking out certain memories if it was traumatic. That would make sense right? For years I blocked out some very bad ones and eventually they surfaced. But these memories are different because I remember other details confirming the relationship and I don’t really have reason to believe anything sexually abusive happened.

So what happened and why did I forget?