I 20M am a late bloomer virgin in college. I’ve been a massive loser for majority of my life. Becoming a porn addict at 11 made this worse. Growing up, never had a first kiss, held hands, a gf, sex etc.
I came to college and on my first week, had my first kiss and a blowjob. After that it was decent sailing. Problem is I had a porn addiction at this time aswell which cranked up MAJORLY. I lost all interest in women and couldn’t get hard with girls. I met my first girlfriend who was also my first love. We were both virgins and agreed to stay fwb. Time goes by and I realize how much I view sex as a love thing and not lust. I loved my gf so much I wanted us to lose our virginities to each other and it was mutual.
But again my porn addiction had completely screwed that. Lost all sexual interest and desire for my gf and out of shame I couldn’t tell her I wanted to have sex with her but couldn’t. I led her on to think that she could look elsewhere bc our sex life wouldn’t happen.
She went on a date with this guy. She had a one night stand and she lost her virginity to him. She told me and that fucked me up BAD, especially because of how intimately I viewed sex and virginity. Didn’t help when she said it was like giving away a piece of your soul.
But now to the actual point, I noticed she’d been acting different after losing her first. Not in a bad way but more in a mature adult way. It seemed to me that you grow your chapter as a virgin and sex seems like a rite of passage into mature/ adult growth like being a child and hitting puberty which starts your journey as a physiological adult. Like if two people are 20yo but one started puberty at 13 and the other at 17. The 13yp is going to be way farther in development.
I started analyzing my friends and others who weren’t virgins/late bloomers and I noticed that they seemed to have “bossed up” after losing their first . Kinda like the earlier you started puberty the more and faster you hit growth down the line.
Comparing to myself I still feel held back. Like a middle schooler hanging out with highschoolers. I feel like I’m still immature and attached to being a teenager and it makes me super insecure and I’ve cried about it. for 1.5years I dated the loml but I never had sex with her and now we’re done.our relationship could’ve been so much better if I just wasn’t such a failure.
Partially because I KNOW I can have this growth. I’ve had opprutunites for sex, I could’ve had 12 bodies by now. But instead I can’t. I’ve had people assume I could be a whore and pull anyone. People have thought I was a slut but no one knew I was actually a virgin(not flexing just giving insight)
Last thing but this level of low my life has become has definitely given a fire fire to be better. Like a rubber band, it’s been pulled so far down that atp it’ll either snap or LAUNCH me up which it has. I’ve started getting my life in check. Working out, reading, studying, eating healthy, major cut down on porn and social media, just bossing myself up because I’m so sick of how much I’ve self sabotaged my life.
Idk if this is a vent or asking for advice. I just don’t have anyone to talk to and I just feel so insecure
submitted by /u/kkeith185
[link] [comments]
r/sex I 20M am a late bloomer virgin in college. I’ve been a massive loser for majority of my life. Becoming a porn addict at 11 made this worse. Growing up, never had a first kiss, held hands, a gf, sex etc. I came to college and on my first week, had my first kiss and a blowjob. After that it was decent sailing. Problem is I had a porn addiction at this time aswell which cranked up MAJORLY. I lost all interest in women and couldn’t get hard with girls. I met my first girlfriend who was also my first love. We were both virgins and agreed to stay fwb. Time goes by and I realize how much I view sex as a love thing and not lust. I loved my gf so much I wanted us to lose our virginities to each other and it was mutual. But again my porn addiction had completely screwed that. Lost all sexual interest and desire for my gf and out of shame I couldn’t tell her I wanted to have sex with her but couldn’t. I led her on to think that she could look elsewhere bc our sex life wouldn’t happen. She went on a date with this guy. She had a one night stand and she lost her virginity to him. She told me and that fucked me up BAD, especially because of how intimately I viewed sex and virginity. Didn’t help when she said it was like giving away a piece of your soul. But now to the actual point, I noticed she’d been acting different after losing her first. Not in a bad way but more in a mature adult way. It seemed to me that you grow your chapter as a virgin and sex seems like a rite of passage into mature/ adult growth like being a child and hitting puberty which starts your journey as a physiological adult. Like if two people are 20yo but one started puberty at 13 and the other at 17. The 13yp is going to be way farther in development. I started analyzing my friends and others who weren’t virgins/late bloomers and I noticed that they seemed to have “bossed up” after losing their first . Kinda like the earlier you started puberty the more and faster you hit growth down the line. Comparing to myself I still feel held back. Like a middle schooler hanging out with highschoolers. I feel like I’m still immature and attached to being a teenager and it makes me super insecure and I’ve cried about it. for 1.5years I dated the loml but I never had sex with her and now we’re done.our relationship could’ve been so much better if I just wasn’t such a failure. Partially because I KNOW I can have this growth. I’ve had opprutunites for sex, I could’ve had 12 bodies by now. But instead I can’t. I’ve had people assume I could be a whore and pull anyone. People have thought I was a slut but no one knew I was actually a virgin(not flexing just giving insight) Last thing but this level of low my life has become has definitely given a fire fire to be better. Like a rubber band, it’s been pulled so far down that atp it’ll either snap or LAUNCH me up which it has. I’ve started getting my life in check. Working out, reading, studying, eating healthy, major cut down on porn and social media, just bossing myself up because I’m so sick of how much I’ve self sabotaged my life. Idk if this is a vent or asking for advice. I just don’t have anyone to talk to and I just feel so insecure submitted by /u/kkeith185 [link] [comments]
I 20M am a late bloomer virgin in college. I’ve been a massive loser for majority of my life. Becoming a porn addict at 11 made this worse. Growing up, never had a first kiss, held hands, a gf, sex etc.
I came to college and on my first week, had my first kiss and a blowjob. After that it was decent sailing. Problem is I had a porn addiction at this time aswell which cranked up MAJORLY. I lost all interest in women and couldn’t get hard with girls. I met my first girlfriend who was also my first love. We were both virgins and agreed to stay fwb. Time goes by and I realize how much I view sex as a love thing and not lust. I loved my gf so much I wanted us to lose our virginities to each other and it was mutual.
But again my porn addiction had completely screwed that. Lost all sexual interest and desire for my gf and out of shame I couldn’t tell her I wanted to have sex with her but couldn’t. I led her on to think that she could look elsewhere bc our sex life wouldn’t happen.
She went on a date with this guy. She had a one night stand and she lost her virginity to him. She told me and that fucked me up BAD, especially because of how intimately I viewed sex and virginity. Didn’t help when she said it was like giving away a piece of your soul.
But now to the actual point, I noticed she’d been acting different after losing her first. Not in a bad way but more in a mature adult way. It seemed to me that you grow your chapter as a virgin and sex seems like a rite of passage into mature/ adult growth like being a child and hitting puberty which starts your journey as a physiological adult. Like if two people are 20yo but one started puberty at 13 and the other at 17. The 13yp is going to be way farther in development.
I started analyzing my friends and others who weren’t virgins/late bloomers and I noticed that they seemed to have “bossed up” after losing their first . Kinda like the earlier you started puberty the more and faster you hit growth down the line.
Comparing to myself I still feel held back. Like a middle schooler hanging out with highschoolers. I feel like I’m still immature and attached to being a teenager and it makes me super insecure and I’ve cried about it. for 1.5years I dated the loml but I never had sex with her and now we’re done.our relationship could’ve been so much better if I just wasn’t such a failure.
Partially because I KNOW I can have this growth. I’ve had opprutunites for sex, I could’ve had 12 bodies by now. But instead I can’t. I’ve had people assume I could be a whore and pull anyone. People have thought I was a slut but no one knew I was actually a virgin(not flexing just giving insight)
Last thing but this level of low my life has become has definitely given a fire fire to be better. Like a rubber band, it’s been pulled so far down that atp it’ll either snap or LAUNCH me up which it has. I’ve started getting my life in check. Working out, reading, studying, eating healthy, major cut down on porn and social media, just bossing myself up because I’m so sick of how much I’ve self sabotaged my life.
Idk if this is a vent or asking for advice. I just don’t have anyone to talk to and I just feel so insecure
submitted by /u/kkeith185
[link] [comments]