Older virgin worried about having sex with boyfriend /u/Potential_Self_5885 Sex

I’m going to try and keep this fairly vague, because my boyfriend’s on Reddit. I’m in my late 30s, and I’ve never had sex before. My boyfriend and I been long distance for a while, but soon we’re going to have the opportunity to have sex. And I can’t stop worrying about it.

We’ve talked a lot about it, about how everything will be new for me, our expectations and hopes. He’s taught me a lot about his anatomy, about certain techniques, but I still feel completely unprepared. I know there are a lot of resources online, and I’ve been reading through things on here, watching some videos my boyfriend suggested, but I can’t help but feel lost. Things aimed at people who are planning to have sex for the first time ever seem to be assuming that they’re like 20 years younger than me, and everything aimed at people around my age is way over my paygrade and things I’ll probably never be able to learn to do.

My boyfriend keeps telling me not to worry, and that my instinct will take over. It’s not like I don’t want to believe him, but it doesn’t feel like that at this stage. Maybe it will be different when we’re actually together, but right now when I think about what I’d like to do with him, or on the few occasions when he’s asked me what I would like to do in a certain scenario, my brain freezes up and I can’t think of anything. I have no idea where to start. I want to give him the most amazing blowjobs, but I have to learn how to give one from scratch. And until I get to be good at them, a lot of things could go wrong. Maybe I’ll never be able to be ‘amazing’. Maybe I’ll never be able to even be ‘good’.

I’m not even sure what would help at this point. Maybe I just have to accept that I’m going to be terrible in bed until I start learning things my peers picked up literally decades ago. I just want it to be a good time for both of us. If anyone has any advice or tips or reassurance, I’d really appreciate it.

tl;dr older virgin worried about having sex for the first time, and feeling very worried about my lack of experience.

I’m going to try and keep this fairly vague, because my boyfriend’s on Reddit. I’m in my late 30s, and I’ve never had sex before. My boyfriend and I been long distance for a while, but soon we’re going to have the opportunity to have sex. And I can’t stop worrying about it.

We’ve talked a lot about it, about how everything will be new for me, our expectations and hopes. He’s taught me a lot about his anatomy, about certain techniques, but I still feel completely unprepared. I know there are a lot of resources online, and I’ve been reading through things on here, watching some videos my boyfriend suggested, but I can’t help but feel lost. Things aimed at people who are planning to have sex for the first time ever seem to be assuming that they’re like 20 years younger than me, and everything aimed at people around my age is way over my paygrade and things I’ll probably never be able to learn to do.

My boyfriend keeps telling me not to worry, and that my instinct will take over. It’s not like I don’t want to believe him, but it doesn’t feel like that at this stage. Maybe it will be different when we’re actually together, but right now when I think about what I’d like to do with him, or on the few occasions when he’s asked me what I would like to do in a certain scenario, my brain freezes up and I can’t think of anything. I have no idea where to start. I want to give him the most amazing blowjobs, but I have to learn how to give one from scratch. And until I get to be good at them, a lot of things could go wrong. Maybe I’ll never be able to be ‘amazing’. Maybe I’ll never be able to even be ‘good’.

I’m not even sure what would help at this point. Maybe I just have to accept that I’m going to be terrible in bed until I start learning things my peers picked up literally decades ago. I just want it to be a good time for both of us. If anyone has any advice or tips or reassurance, I’d really appreciate it.

tl;dr older virgin worried about having sex for the first time, and feeling very worried about my lack of experience.