Hey everyone,
I feel silly and messed up but here is the thing:
I am 37 years old and am only just starting to explore my sexuality…I think I might be slightly asexual or at least with a low libido so it just never played a big role. I was always a bit late with everyting: lost my virginity at 18, FINALLY because I wanted to get it over with. I had a relationship in my mid/late 20s and I enjoyed the intimacy of it, but most of the times, the sex was more of “chore” or a must-do-because-we-are-a-couple than me really really enjoying it.
The only time I really enjoyed sex was high on MDAM, speed or cocaine…
I have been single for ten years now, having one night stands here and there, which is never about the actual act of sex, but more about the thrill of the hunt – will I “get” the guy I want into bed. I can get a little horny, wanting to kiss and foreplay – but I really need extremely handsome guys to give me that kind of hormonal reaction. I have felt insane physical attraction to a man with maybe two or three guys in my life and thats it.
I am online dating now and I really would like to enjoy being sexual, making out and having good sex but feel like I am just not made for it or doing it wrong. I have no trouble getting men into bed and “performing”…I really see it as something to get it over with, to feel “it has worked out”, and to make my ego feel good that I got laid again, with the man I wanted.
I know this sounds absolutely messed up and awful. I am aware of my patterns and I am learning to accept that this is where I am at now, and that this does not mean I am flawed, broken or that everyone else has the most healthy and best sex life ever. But I also want to maybe learn to embrace or enjoy sexuality more.
Dont laugh – but I finally bought a vibrator and am experimenting (I know i should have done this age 20..). I can definitely get aroused but I am kind of edging because before I really come, I just stop.
No idea what THAT is about or maybe I just cant come, all sober.
Not sure what advice I expect here. Maybe someone can relate, or tell me how to really start becoming more sex positive. How do I discover my libido…
What else can I do?
I would love to go “Oh FINALLY I get why our world and pop culture and everything revolves around sex”.For now, it is more of a “should” and another “to do”: become good and happy with sex, just like it is for some to exercise more or eath healthier. Just something else where I can feel I am a failure…
Happy to hear any feedback, advice, experience…
Thanks!
submitted by /u/Madel_yn
[link] [comments]
r/sex Hey everyone, I feel silly and messed up but here is the thing: I am 37 years old and am only just starting to explore my sexuality…I think I might be slightly asexual or at least with a low libido so it just never played a big role. I was always a bit late with everyting: lost my virginity at 18, FINALLY because I wanted to get it over with. I had a relationship in my mid/late 20s and I enjoyed the intimacy of it, but most of the times, the sex was more of “chore” or a must-do-because-we-are-a-couple than me really really enjoying it. The only time I really enjoyed sex was high on MDAM, speed or cocaine… I have been single for ten years now, having one night stands here and there, which is never about the actual act of sex, but more about the thrill of the hunt – will I “get” the guy I want into bed. I can get a little horny, wanting to kiss and foreplay – but I really need extremely handsome guys to give me that kind of hormonal reaction. I have felt insane physical attraction to a man with maybe two or three guys in my life and thats it. I am online dating now and I really would like to enjoy being sexual, making out and having good sex but feel like I am just not made for it or doing it wrong. I have no trouble getting men into bed and “performing”…I really see it as something to get it over with, to feel “it has worked out”, and to make my ego feel good that I got laid again, with the man I wanted. I know this sounds absolutely messed up and awful. I am aware of my patterns and I am learning to accept that this is where I am at now, and that this does not mean I am flawed, broken or that everyone else has the most healthy and best sex life ever. But I also want to maybe learn to embrace or enjoy sexuality more. Dont laugh – but I finally bought a vibrator and am experimenting (I know i should have done this age 20..). I can definitely get aroused but I am kind of edging because before I really come, I just stop. No idea what THAT is about or maybe I just cant come, all sober. Not sure what advice I expect here. Maybe someone can relate, or tell me how to really start becoming more sex positive. How do I discover my libido… What else can I do? I would love to go “Oh FINALLY I get why our world and pop culture and everything revolves around sex”.For now, it is more of a “should” and another “to do”: become good and happy with sex, just like it is for some to exercise more or eath healthier. Just something else where I can feel I am a failure… Happy to hear any feedback, advice, experience… Thanks! submitted by /u/Madel_yn [link] [comments]
Hey everyone,
I feel silly and messed up but here is the thing:
I am 37 years old and am only just starting to explore my sexuality…I think I might be slightly asexual or at least with a low libido so it just never played a big role. I was always a bit late with everyting: lost my virginity at 18, FINALLY because I wanted to get it over with. I had a relationship in my mid/late 20s and I enjoyed the intimacy of it, but most of the times, the sex was more of “chore” or a must-do-because-we-are-a-couple than me really really enjoying it.
The only time I really enjoyed sex was high on MDAM, speed or cocaine…
I have been single for ten years now, having one night stands here and there, which is never about the actual act of sex, but more about the thrill of the hunt – will I “get” the guy I want into bed. I can get a little horny, wanting to kiss and foreplay – but I really need extremely handsome guys to give me that kind of hormonal reaction. I have felt insane physical attraction to a man with maybe two or three guys in my life and thats it.
I am online dating now and I really would like to enjoy being sexual, making out and having good sex but feel like I am just not made for it or doing it wrong. I have no trouble getting men into bed and “performing”…I really see it as something to get it over with, to feel “it has worked out”, and to make my ego feel good that I got laid again, with the man I wanted.
I know this sounds absolutely messed up and awful. I am aware of my patterns and I am learning to accept that this is where I am at now, and that this does not mean I am flawed, broken or that everyone else has the most healthy and best sex life ever. But I also want to maybe learn to embrace or enjoy sexuality more.
Dont laugh – but I finally bought a vibrator and am experimenting (I know i should have done this age 20..). I can definitely get aroused but I am kind of edging because before I really come, I just stop.
No idea what THAT is about or maybe I just cant come, all sober.
Not sure what advice I expect here. Maybe someone can relate, or tell me how to really start becoming more sex positive. How do I discover my libido…
What else can I do?
I would love to go “Oh FINALLY I get why our world and pop culture and everything revolves around sex”.For now, it is more of a “should” and another “to do”: become good and happy with sex, just like it is for some to exercise more or eath healthier. Just something else where I can feel I am a failure…
Happy to hear any feedback, advice, experience…
Thanks!
submitted by /u/Madel_yn
[link] [comments]