Ladies in a LT relationship – do you masturbate often even when your partner has a high sex drive ? /u/avenger6969 Sex

So i (48M) have a high sex drive so i am pretty much up for it every day and sometimes more times within the day.

My wife (43F, together for 12 years, married for 8) has complained a bit that i only think about sex when in fact i crave physical contact (non-sexual) as it’s my way of feeling connected and intimate. We both work from home most of the time so sometimes i pass by her desk to give her a kiss and sometimes i caress her bum and then leave. She sees that as a sign i only think about sex. She had been telling me that quite a few times before so that was the straw that broke the camel’s back because it hurt me a lot because i do not see that kind of physical contact as sexual in any way. So i feel lile a pervert. Never have any of my long-term partners before her ever told me something like that. This happened a year ago and since then i have not wanted / been very hesitant to initiate sex with her.

However, she has a vibrator and tells me she uses it quite often (sometimes up to 3 times a day, but on average 4-5 times a week – she reads adult erotic romance novels from TL Swan) so that hurts me even more because why would she use it when she has me willing and ready to go.

I am therefore curious to know from ladies in long-term relationships with partners with a high sex drive, how often do you masturbate ?

Is my couple an outlier or is it pretty normal ?

TLDR: i (48m) have a high sex drive but my wife (43f) uses her vibrator very often instead of asking me and it is making me feel rejected.

So i (48M) have a high sex drive so i am pretty much up for it every day and sometimes more times within the day.

My wife (43F, together for 12 years, married for 8) has complained a bit that i only think about sex when in fact i crave physical contact (non-sexual) as it’s my way of feeling connected and intimate. We both work from home most of the time so sometimes i pass by her desk to give her a kiss and sometimes i caress her bum and then leave. She sees that as a sign i only think about sex. She had been telling me that quite a few times before so that was the straw that broke the camel’s back because it hurt me a lot because i do not see that kind of physical contact as sexual in any way. So i feel lile a pervert. Never have any of my long-term partners before her ever told me something like that. This happened a year ago and since then i have not wanted / been very hesitant to initiate sex with her.

However, she has a vibrator and tells me she uses it quite often (sometimes up to 3 times a day, but on average 4-5 times a week – she reads adult erotic romance novels from TL Swan) so that hurts me even more because why would she use it when she has me willing and ready to go.

I am therefore curious to know from ladies in long-term relationships with partners with a high sex drive, how often do you masturbate ?

Is my couple an outlier or is it pretty normal ?

TLDR: i (48m) have a high sex drive but my wife (43f) uses her vibrator very often instead of asking me and it is making me feel rejected.