Hi, I don’t know where to go for this advice, but I would really like to ask plus-sized women who have gone through the journey of loving their bodies and opening up sexually with their partners.
So my partner (29f) and I (35m) have been together for over 7 years, some of it long distance. We love each other and have been through quite a bit together.
She is more reticent with sex, won’t initiate and often declines sex. I understand that and don’t expect sex, and for a while I thought either I wasn’t attractive to her or something else.
Unfortunately sex has been brought up in a number of our fights. I have at several points just asked her to be honest with me. Is it me, or does she just not like sex?
She says she just doesn’t love her own body and can’t fully enjoy sex. I tell her how much I love her and her body all the time. She has amazing lips, great hips that I just love to hold onto, beautiful breasts, soft and warm skin, and just amazing tasting and feeling lady bits. (sorry if that’s too graphic. she drives me wild).
I know though that it isn’t about me or how I feel about her. It’s about her feeling comfortable in her own skin. She has put on a bit of weight during the pandemic and we have talked about it (prompted by her, I’d never comment on her weight) and she wants to get back to a comfortable weight. She has been struggling with motivation to lose weight, b/c as she says, she hates her body and feels foreign in it.
When we’ve talked about what she likes sexually, she has said she doesn’t really know what she wants and she doesn’t know how to find out. I’ve tried to introduce things in the bedroom, but she generally just prefers doggy style (she doesn’t like me looking at her, which kinda makes me sad.) I think the best description I found with how I feel was from a Princeton survey from the museum of sex i took that described me as “devotedly erotic.” To me, sex bring us closer, makes us more intimate, strengthens bonds, and allows us to explore each other more deeply. I only want to experiment with her, but I find myself wanting to experiment a lot.
So I am not sure if I am putting the cart before the horse, but I have thought that maybe if she was more comfortable with her sexuality, it might make her more comfortable being in her body. I know that probably sounds selfish, but I feel like I’m doing all I can to support her mentally toward weight loss. At the same time, I also feel like I’ve gone a long time without feeling desired by her and when we haven’t had sex in a while, I feel myself detaching from it and that part of us.
As far as I can tell, all I should do is be supportive, available and patient. I believe I’ve been that way for years and understand how much of a setback the pandemic has been. I just sometimes feel dejected and less close to her because of the lack of intimacy and attraction she shows me.
TL;DR, how should I go about helping my girlfriend [1] love her body like I do. [2] learn more about what she wants sexually. [3] be more comfortable sexually.
Also, if what I’ve said is wrong, please correct me. I just want to do the right thing, love her and be loved by her.
submitted by /u/Vest-Investor
[link] [comments]
r/sex Hi, I don’t know where to go for this advice, but I would really like to ask plus-sized women who have gone through the journey of loving their bodies and opening up sexually with their partners. So my partner (29f) and I (35m) have been together for over 7 years, some of it long distance. We love each other and have been through quite a bit together. She is more reticent with sex, won’t initiate and often declines sex. I understand that and don’t expect sex, and for a while I thought either I wasn’t attractive to her or something else. Unfortunately sex has been brought up in a number of our fights. I have at several points just asked her to be honest with me. Is it me, or does she just not like sex? She says she just doesn’t love her own body and can’t fully enjoy sex. I tell her how much I love her and her body all the time. She has amazing lips, great hips that I just love to hold onto, beautiful breasts, soft and warm skin, and just amazing tasting and feeling lady bits. (sorry if that’s too graphic. she drives me wild). I know though that it isn’t about me or how I feel about her. It’s about her feeling comfortable in her own skin. She has put on a bit of weight during the pandemic and we have talked about it (prompted by her, I’d never comment on her weight) and she wants to get back to a comfortable weight. She has been struggling with motivation to lose weight, b/c as she says, she hates her body and feels foreign in it. When we’ve talked about what she likes sexually, she has said she doesn’t really know what she wants and she doesn’t know how to find out. I’ve tried to introduce things in the bedroom, but she generally just prefers doggy style (she doesn’t like me looking at her, which kinda makes me sad.) I think the best description I found with how I feel was from a Princeton survey from the museum of sex i took that described me as “devotedly erotic.” To me, sex bring us closer, makes us more intimate, strengthens bonds, and allows us to explore each other more deeply. I only want to experiment with her, but I find myself wanting to experiment a lot. So I am not sure if I am putting the cart before the horse, but I have thought that maybe if she was more comfortable with her sexuality, it might make her more comfortable being in her body. I know that probably sounds selfish, but I feel like I’m doing all I can to support her mentally toward weight loss. At the same time, I also feel like I’ve gone a long time without feeling desired by her and when we haven’t had sex in a while, I feel myself detaching from it and that part of us. As far as I can tell, all I should do is be supportive, available and patient. I believe I’ve been that way for years and understand how much of a setback the pandemic has been. I just sometimes feel dejected and less close to her because of the lack of intimacy and attraction she shows me. TL;DR, how should I go about helping my girlfriend [1] love her body like I do. [2] learn more about what she wants sexually. [3] be more comfortable sexually. Also, if what I’ve said is wrong, please correct me. I just want to do the right thing, love her and be loved by her. submitted by /u/Vest-Investor [link] [comments]
Hi, I don’t know where to go for this advice, but I would really like to ask plus-sized women who have gone through the journey of loving their bodies and opening up sexually with their partners.
So my partner (29f) and I (35m) have been together for over 7 years, some of it long distance. We love each other and have been through quite a bit together.
She is more reticent with sex, won’t initiate and often declines sex. I understand that and don’t expect sex, and for a while I thought either I wasn’t attractive to her or something else.
Unfortunately sex has been brought up in a number of our fights. I have at several points just asked her to be honest with me. Is it me, or does she just not like sex?
She says she just doesn’t love her own body and can’t fully enjoy sex. I tell her how much I love her and her body all the time. She has amazing lips, great hips that I just love to hold onto, beautiful breasts, soft and warm skin, and just amazing tasting and feeling lady bits. (sorry if that’s too graphic. she drives me wild).
I know though that it isn’t about me or how I feel about her. It’s about her feeling comfortable in her own skin. She has put on a bit of weight during the pandemic and we have talked about it (prompted by her, I’d never comment on her weight) and she wants to get back to a comfortable weight. She has been struggling with motivation to lose weight, b/c as she says, she hates her body and feels foreign in it.
When we’ve talked about what she likes sexually, she has said she doesn’t really know what she wants and she doesn’t know how to find out. I’ve tried to introduce things in the bedroom, but she generally just prefers doggy style (she doesn’t like me looking at her, which kinda makes me sad.) I think the best description I found with how I feel was from a Princeton survey from the museum of sex i took that described me as “devotedly erotic.” To me, sex bring us closer, makes us more intimate, strengthens bonds, and allows us to explore each other more deeply. I only want to experiment with her, but I find myself wanting to experiment a lot.
So I am not sure if I am putting the cart before the horse, but I have thought that maybe if she was more comfortable with her sexuality, it might make her more comfortable being in her body. I know that probably sounds selfish, but I feel like I’m doing all I can to support her mentally toward weight loss. At the same time, I also feel like I’ve gone a long time without feeling desired by her and when we haven’t had sex in a while, I feel myself detaching from it and that part of us.
As far as I can tell, all I should do is be supportive, available and patient. I believe I’ve been that way for years and understand how much of a setback the pandemic has been. I just sometimes feel dejected and less close to her because of the lack of intimacy and attraction she shows me.
TL;DR, how should I go about helping my girlfriend [1] love her body like I do. [2] learn more about what she wants sexually. [3] be more comfortable sexually.
Also, if what I’ve said is wrong, please correct me. I just want to do the right thing, love her and be loved by her.
submitted by /u/Vest-Investor
[link] [comments]