not present orgasm /u/Swimming_goggles Sex

i feel like it’s a trope in literature and movies to portray intimate sex as two (or more) people being hyper present with one another eg staring into one another’s eyes, only focused on sounds/sensations in the room. sometimes the most intimate sex i can have is when i feel the opposite- like i’m so far out of my body, like my atoms are exploding outward. i think of a full moon over a hilly landscape or every single blade of grass in meadow, like i want to disappear or merge with the air or w/e. it makes me feel connected to the person i’m having sex with, even if i’m not thinking about them, but sometimes it feels like i don’t care who it is i’m having sex with. i’m as far out from my body as i can be. is this evasive or running away from the person i’m having sex with?

i feel like it’s a trope in literature and movies to portray intimate sex as two (or more) people being hyper present with one another eg staring into one another’s eyes, only focused on sounds/sensations in the room. sometimes the most intimate sex i can have is when i feel the opposite- like i’m so far out of my body, like my atoms are exploding outward. i think of a full moon over a hilly landscape or every single blade of grass in meadow, like i want to disappear or merge with the air or w/e. it makes me feel connected to the person i’m having sex with, even if i’m not thinking about them, but sometimes it feels like i don’t care who it is i’m having sex with. i’m as far out from my body as i can be. is this evasive or running away from the person i’m having sex with?