I’m a girl, but I think about having a penis to get off /u/Upbeat_Sundae_1598 Sex

(21f) So, I’m writing this to find out if other women can relate or if I’m just weird, so I can escape my overthinking spiral.

Basically, when I first started watching porn I’d enjoy it ‘normally’ (I’m attracted to men). But when I discovered that I have zero feelings of pleasure from penetration, which made me feel like a ‘broken woman’ though I’m beginning to accept it now, that sort of changed how I watched porn. I no longer find as much pleasure watch porn that is piv. I mean, it looks good and it turns me on, but it doesn’t do it for me like it did before, now knowing that I wouldn’t feel anything if that happened to me. The best way I could get pleasure from it is if I imagine myself with a penis/imagining how good the guy is feeling. I heard from someone that a penis is kind of like a big clit, so I’d imagine it feeling something like that. I guess it’s more surface area, so it looks like it feels better? Also, the idea of having an ejaculating penis is… hot. At some point I would feel sad because of how unfair it is, that people with penises can feel pleasure seemingly a lot more easily, where as I can’t feel anything internally, and how even external stimulation for me isn’t that strong. Yeah, I somehow got penis envy.

I don’t know if this is a trans thing because of two things; firstly, this pretty much just a sexual fetish thing, I don’t think about having a penis outside of masturbating. Also, when I imagine myself with a penis, it’s just that. I don’t imagine myself with a full male body, or maybe non-binary people could feel this. Aside from that, I’m pretty comfortable being she/her and being a girl.

(21f) So, I’m writing this to find out if other women can relate or if I’m just weird, so I can escape my overthinking spiral.

Basically, when I first started watching porn I’d enjoy it ‘normally’ (I’m attracted to men). But when I discovered that I have zero feelings of pleasure from penetration, which made me feel like a ‘broken woman’ though I’m beginning to accept it now, that sort of changed how I watched porn. I no longer find as much pleasure watch porn that is piv. I mean, it looks good and it turns me on, but it doesn’t do it for me like it did before, now knowing that I wouldn’t feel anything if that happened to me. The best way I could get pleasure from it is if I imagine myself with a penis/imagining how good the guy is feeling. I heard from someone that a penis is kind of like a big clit, so I’d imagine it feeling something like that. I guess it’s more surface area, so it looks like it feels better? Also, the idea of having an ejaculating penis is… hot. At some point I would feel sad because of how unfair it is, that people with penises can feel pleasure seemingly a lot more easily, where as I can’t feel anything internally, and how even external stimulation for me isn’t that strong. Yeah, I somehow got penis envy.

I don’t know if this is a trans thing because of two things; firstly, this pretty much just a sexual fetish thing, I don’t think about having a penis outside of masturbating. Also, when I imagine myself with a penis, it’s just that. I don’t imagine myself with a full male body, or maybe non-binary people could feel this. Aside from that, I’m pretty comfortable being she/her and being a girl.