So I’m in a new-ish relationship, and the sex is great. GF is super open and communicative, knows what she likes, and our libidos are pretty closely matched. She was very up-front that she struggles to orgasm, but still enjoys it even when she doesn’t. And after a few tries, she managed to coach me to touch her in exactly the way she needs while she uses a vibrator, and now she gets hers the vast majority of the time. So things are great overall!
However, if we’re having sex anywhere but her place (where she has access to all of her toys and everything else she needs), I haven’t been able to make her cum yet. We’ve come close, but no cigar. In her words, she “gets in her own head and ruins it” for herself. She’s a pretty anxious person and overthinks things a lot, and as soon as she starts noticing she’s close and thinking about it, it won’t happen.
Which has the unfortunate side effect that when we talk about trying something new or different, it makes her think about that and prevents it from happening. So I’d love to have some new things to try without her knowing that this is why. So far the best thing I’ve found is just constant dirty talk, especially as she’s getting close. If she’s always focused on me telling her how hot her body is, how much she turns me on, etc etc, it definitely helps her stay in the moment. And things like having music playing, having the lights dim so she can see what’s happening but not so bright she gets self conscious about how she looks, also help. But if anyone with a similar problem can chime in with what helped them – I’d love to hear it!
submitted by /u/cxzaqwe
[link] [comments]
r/sex So I’m in a new-ish relationship, and the sex is great. GF is super open and communicative, knows what she likes, and our libidos are pretty closely matched. She was very up-front that she struggles to orgasm, but still enjoys it even when she doesn’t. And after a few tries, she managed to coach me to touch her in exactly the way she needs while she uses a vibrator, and now she gets hers the vast majority of the time. So things are great overall! However, if we’re having sex anywhere but her place (where she has access to all of her toys and everything else she needs), I haven’t been able to make her cum yet. We’ve come close, but no cigar. In her words, she “gets in her own head and ruins it” for herself. She’s a pretty anxious person and overthinks things a lot, and as soon as she starts noticing she’s close and thinking about it, it won’t happen. Which has the unfortunate side effect that when we talk about trying something new or different, it makes her think about that and prevents it from happening. So I’d love to have some new things to try without her knowing that this is why. So far the best thing I’ve found is just constant dirty talk, especially as she’s getting close. If she’s always focused on me telling her how hot her body is, how much she turns me on, etc etc, it definitely helps her stay in the moment. And things like having music playing, having the lights dim so she can see what’s happening but not so bright she gets self conscious about how she looks, also help. But if anyone with a similar problem can chime in with what helped them – I’d love to hear it! submitted by /u/cxzaqwe [link] [comments]
So I’m in a new-ish relationship, and the sex is great. GF is super open and communicative, knows what she likes, and our libidos are pretty closely matched. She was very up-front that she struggles to orgasm, but still enjoys it even when she doesn’t. And after a few tries, she managed to coach me to touch her in exactly the way she needs while she uses a vibrator, and now she gets hers the vast majority of the time. So things are great overall!
However, if we’re having sex anywhere but her place (where she has access to all of her toys and everything else she needs), I haven’t been able to make her cum yet. We’ve come close, but no cigar. In her words, she “gets in her own head and ruins it” for herself. She’s a pretty anxious person and overthinks things a lot, and as soon as she starts noticing she’s close and thinking about it, it won’t happen.
Which has the unfortunate side effect that when we talk about trying something new or different, it makes her think about that and prevents it from happening. So I’d love to have some new things to try without her knowing that this is why. So far the best thing I’ve found is just constant dirty talk, especially as she’s getting close. If she’s always focused on me telling her how hot her body is, how much she turns me on, etc etc, it definitely helps her stay in the moment. And things like having music playing, having the lights dim so she can see what’s happening but not so bright she gets self conscious about how she looks, also help. But if anyone with a similar problem can chime in with what helped them – I’d love to hear it!
submitted by /u/cxzaqwe
[link] [comments]