Created an account because I’ve been wrestling with this issue for so long and I don’t know what to do.
My husband and I have been together for almost 15+ years. The sex is, honestly, awful for me.
In the whole time we have been together, he has never helped me to orgasm other than some light touching/kissing of breasts–no fingers, no mouth, no vibrator, nothing. The emphasis has always been that I get myself to orgasm.
After whinging at him a lot, he will put in a lacklustre effort with his fingers but every time I’ve tried to redirect him to do it how I prefer, he doesn’t take on the feedback and just rubs at me faster and faster (and in the completely wrong spot, sometimes rubbing very roughly over the urethra) like he just wants the whole thing to be over. Same with his mouth.
He generally doesn’t put much effort into foreplay and expects me to be spontaneously aroused. I am literally down to have sex every single day but I need a little help to get actually wet. Sometimes I just agree to lube because he gives such low priority to making sure I feel good.
I’ve tried suggesting different positions where I can try grinding. If I’m on top, he comes super fast. If he’s on top, he just wants to jackhammer in his preferred position and, again, come as quickly as possible. He won’t put his body on mine, doesn’t make me feel special, doesnt really touch me during, he’ll kiss the way he likes (pretty rough) but nothing gentle or erotic…
He says he’s down to try new things, but he never really initiates or leads and I have to be the one to come up with all the things to try. It’s so routine I want to cry and then I’m left a frustrated mess having to get myself off with almost no help from him.
The whole experience just feels like he’s using me. There’s no emotional connection. The physical act is lacking. What the hell else can I do?! I’ve tried talking. Sometimes constructive, sometimes destructive because I’m beyond frustrated. Feedback seems like it’s ignored either way.
Is there anything else I can try or do?
Sorry, epic novel of whinging. I just don’t know what else to do. I’m so freaking depressed that I’m a sexual person, open to trying so many things, but I’m going to go my whole life without ever experiencing really good (or even just half good) sex.
submitted by /u/SadThrowAwayQuestion
[link] [comments]
r/sex Created an account because I’ve been wrestling with this issue for so long and I don’t know what to do. My husband and I have been together for almost 15+ years. The sex is, honestly, awful for me. In the whole time we have been together, he has never helped me to orgasm other than some light touching/kissing of breasts–no fingers, no mouth, no vibrator, nothing. The emphasis has always been that I get myself to orgasm. After whinging at him a lot, he will put in a lacklustre effort with his fingers but every time I’ve tried to redirect him to do it how I prefer, he doesn’t take on the feedback and just rubs at me faster and faster (and in the completely wrong spot, sometimes rubbing very roughly over the urethra) like he just wants the whole thing to be over. Same with his mouth. He generally doesn’t put much effort into foreplay and expects me to be spontaneously aroused. I am literally down to have sex every single day but I need a little help to get actually wet. Sometimes I just agree to lube because he gives such low priority to making sure I feel good. I’ve tried suggesting different positions where I can try grinding. If I’m on top, he comes super fast. If he’s on top, he just wants to jackhammer in his preferred position and, again, come as quickly as possible. He won’t put his body on mine, doesn’t make me feel special, doesnt really touch me during, he’ll kiss the way he likes (pretty rough) but nothing gentle or erotic… He says he’s down to try new things, but he never really initiates or leads and I have to be the one to come up with all the things to try. It’s so routine I want to cry and then I’m left a frustrated mess having to get myself off with almost no help from him. The whole experience just feels like he’s using me. There’s no emotional connection. The physical act is lacking. What the hell else can I do?! I’ve tried talking. Sometimes constructive, sometimes destructive because I’m beyond frustrated. Feedback seems like it’s ignored either way. Is there anything else I can try or do? Sorry, epic novel of whinging. I just don’t know what else to do. I’m so freaking depressed that I’m a sexual person, open to trying so many things, but I’m going to go my whole life without ever experiencing really good (or even just half good) sex. submitted by /u/SadThrowAwayQuestion [link] [comments]
Created an account because I’ve been wrestling with this issue for so long and I don’t know what to do.
My husband and I have been together for almost 15+ years. The sex is, honestly, awful for me.
In the whole time we have been together, he has never helped me to orgasm other than some light touching/kissing of breasts–no fingers, no mouth, no vibrator, nothing. The emphasis has always been that I get myself to orgasm.
After whinging at him a lot, he will put in a lacklustre effort with his fingers but every time I’ve tried to redirect him to do it how I prefer, he doesn’t take on the feedback and just rubs at me faster and faster (and in the completely wrong spot, sometimes rubbing very roughly over the urethra) like he just wants the whole thing to be over. Same with his mouth.
He generally doesn’t put much effort into foreplay and expects me to be spontaneously aroused. I am literally down to have sex every single day but I need a little help to get actually wet. Sometimes I just agree to lube because he gives such low priority to making sure I feel good.
I’ve tried suggesting different positions where I can try grinding. If I’m on top, he comes super fast. If he’s on top, he just wants to jackhammer in his preferred position and, again, come as quickly as possible. He won’t put his body on mine, doesn’t make me feel special, doesnt really touch me during, he’ll kiss the way he likes (pretty rough) but nothing gentle or erotic…
He says he’s down to try new things, but he never really initiates or leads and I have to be the one to come up with all the things to try. It’s so routine I want to cry and then I’m left a frustrated mess having to get myself off with almost no help from him.
The whole experience just feels like he’s using me. There’s no emotional connection. The physical act is lacking. What the hell else can I do?! I’ve tried talking. Sometimes constructive, sometimes destructive because I’m beyond frustrated. Feedback seems like it’s ignored either way.
Is there anything else I can try or do?
Sorry, epic novel of whinging. I just don’t know what else to do. I’m so freaking depressed that I’m a sexual person, open to trying so many things, but I’m going to go my whole life without ever experiencing really good (or even just half good) sex.
submitted by /u/SadThrowAwayQuestion
[link] [comments]