In a perfect world where people communicated clearly and honestly you would just lay down boundaries and expectations before having sex, and would communicate any discomfort or qualms during sex, but this isn’t the world we live in.
When I’ve tried having this sort of conversation before sex all that tends to happen is they get turned off and it kills the mood.
But I’ve been with a girl who I thought was enjoying what I was doing only to be told afterwards that she found it painful but didn’t want to say so at the time, and this has made me a bit paranoid.
What if they tell me they’re into rough sex and being degraded and so on (which seems to be an incredibly common preference) and although I don’t really enjoy that I try to give them what they want but end up going too far and making them uncomfortable physically or emotionally?
Given that I’ve got ADHD and prob mild autism I’m not the most perceptive guy in the world, and sometimes I fail to recognize when a friend or someone is feeling intensely emotional, so I worry that I’m doing this during sex as well, especially with a new partner.
So, I overcompensate and then come across as too reserved and dispassionate – can’t win.
Any advice?
submitted by /u/StaticNocturne
[link] [comments]
r/sex In a perfect world where people communicated clearly and honestly you would just lay down boundaries and expectations before having sex, and would communicate any discomfort or qualms during sex, but this isn’t the world we live in. When I’ve tried having this sort of conversation before sex all that tends to happen is they get turned off and it kills the mood. But I’ve been with a girl who I thought was enjoying what I was doing only to be told afterwards that she found it painful but didn’t want to say so at the time, and this has made me a bit paranoid. What if they tell me they’re into rough sex and being degraded and so on (which seems to be an incredibly common preference) and although I don’t really enjoy that I try to give them what they want but end up going too far and making them uncomfortable physically or emotionally? Given that I’ve got ADHD and prob mild autism I’m not the most perceptive guy in the world, and sometimes I fail to recognize when a friend or someone is feeling intensely emotional, so I worry that I’m doing this during sex as well, especially with a new partner. So, I overcompensate and then come across as too reserved and dispassionate – can’t win. Any advice? submitted by /u/StaticNocturne [link] [comments]
In a perfect world where people communicated clearly and honestly you would just lay down boundaries and expectations before having sex, and would communicate any discomfort or qualms during sex, but this isn’t the world we live in.
When I’ve tried having this sort of conversation before sex all that tends to happen is they get turned off and it kills the mood.
But I’ve been with a girl who I thought was enjoying what I was doing only to be told afterwards that she found it painful but didn’t want to say so at the time, and this has made me a bit paranoid.
What if they tell me they’re into rough sex and being degraded and so on (which seems to be an incredibly common preference) and although I don’t really enjoy that I try to give them what they want but end up going too far and making them uncomfortable physically or emotionally?
Given that I’ve got ADHD and prob mild autism I’m not the most perceptive guy in the world, and sometimes I fail to recognize when a friend or someone is feeling intensely emotional, so I worry that I’m doing this during sex as well, especially with a new partner.
So, I overcompensate and then come across as too reserved and dispassionate – can’t win.
Any advice?
submitted by /u/StaticNocturne
[link] [comments]