Am I too young to be having sex? /u/scarygreenalien Sex

This is going to be a long one, but I’d really appreciate advice.

I am 17f and my boyfriend is 17m, he’s turning 18 next month. We have been having sex for a couple months, and we only do it at his house because my parents never ever leave us alone together. They also told me I am absolutely not allowed to be alone with him at his house, but we haven’t followed that rule.

Recently I asked my mom if I could go on birth control. (I had been using condoms, but just wanted extra safety). I phrased the question in a way that made it ambiguous if I had lost my virginity yet or not. My parents are quite conservative so I was terrified that the conversation would go badly, but my mom said yes and it was an easy, short discussion with few questions.

Today my mom drove me to my boyfriend’s house and noticed that his mom’s car was not in the driveway. She assumed that his parents were out and got annoyed that there weren’t any adults home but dropped me off anyway. There actually was an adult home, and generally there is, even when the car is out. My boyfriend and I are usually only home alone for an hour max, if at all.

When I got picked up again a few hours later, I had a long argument with my mom about why she doesn’t ever let me be alone at home with my boyfriend. I said that there is no chance of me getting pregnant, and we’re being responsible. I am fully confident in my love for him, and I understand that sex is not just an insignificant thing, but I’m absolutely sure about him and my decisions. I also said that I am old enough to make decisions about my own relationships and I feel that she is sheltering me too much.

My mom said that I am way too young to be sexually active, and I don’t have enough life experience to be sure of this decision. She said that she isn’t very worried about pregnancy, but rather about the emotional consequences of sexual relationships. She said that sex ties people together and that if we have sex too early and the relationship fails, it will hurt me so much more. I think she is worried about me because she had that experience when she was young. Her first boyfriend was abusive and she regretted her decision to be intimate with him.

I understand her points, but I have never been so sure of anything in my life. My boyfriend is, without a doubt, the person I want to spend my life with. He has never made me uncomfortable. He has never pressured me to do anything. We have been together more than 6 months and we have never fought, only discussed our differences in a healthy way. We understand each other. He makes me feel safe and loved and valued. I have healed from past emotional wounds because of him. Sex with him makes me feel so fulfilled, physically and emotionally. I want to be able to stay the night at his house so badly just because I love spending time with him and talking and laughing and cuddling, but my parents are not open to it at all.

I know that my mom is just trying to look out for me because she cares about me, but I am so certain that I will not be hurt by this decision. Regardless, I have already lost my virginity to my boyfriend, and he has done nothing to make me suspect he has any negative intentions at all. I don’t want to spend my last year of high school still being sheltered by my parents. Do I just accept defeat and wait 10 months for my 18th birthday when I’m an adult and can do whatever I like? Is there something I can say to change my mom’s mind?

This is going to be a long one, but I’d really appreciate advice.

I am 17f and my boyfriend is 17m, he’s turning 18 next month. We have been having sex for a couple months, and we only do it at his house because my parents never ever leave us alone together. They also told me I am absolutely not allowed to be alone with him at his house, but we haven’t followed that rule.

Recently I asked my mom if I could go on birth control. (I had been using condoms, but just wanted extra safety). I phrased the question in a way that made it ambiguous if I had lost my virginity yet or not. My parents are quite conservative so I was terrified that the conversation would go badly, but my mom said yes and it was an easy, short discussion with few questions.

Today my mom drove me to my boyfriend’s house and noticed that his mom’s car was not in the driveway. She assumed that his parents were out and got annoyed that there weren’t any adults home but dropped me off anyway. There actually was an adult home, and generally there is, even when the car is out. My boyfriend and I are usually only home alone for an hour max, if at all.

When I got picked up again a few hours later, I had a long argument with my mom about why she doesn’t ever let me be alone at home with my boyfriend. I said that there is no chance of me getting pregnant, and we’re being responsible. I am fully confident in my love for him, and I understand that sex is not just an insignificant thing, but I’m absolutely sure about him and my decisions. I also said that I am old enough to make decisions about my own relationships and I feel that she is sheltering me too much.

My mom said that I am way too young to be sexually active, and I don’t have enough life experience to be sure of this decision. She said that she isn’t very worried about pregnancy, but rather about the emotional consequences of sexual relationships. She said that sex ties people together and that if we have sex too early and the relationship fails, it will hurt me so much more. I think she is worried about me because she had that experience when she was young. Her first boyfriend was abusive and she regretted her decision to be intimate with him.

I understand her points, but I have never been so sure of anything in my life. My boyfriend is, without a doubt, the person I want to spend my life with. He has never made me uncomfortable. He has never pressured me to do anything. We have been together more than 6 months and we have never fought, only discussed our differences in a healthy way. We understand each other. He makes me feel safe and loved and valued. I have healed from past emotional wounds because of him. Sex with him makes me feel so fulfilled, physically and emotionally. I want to be able to stay the night at his house so badly just because I love spending time with him and talking and laughing and cuddling, but my parents are not open to it at all.

I know that my mom is just trying to look out for me because she cares about me, but I am so certain that I will not be hurt by this decision. Regardless, I have already lost my virginity to my boyfriend, and he has done nothing to make me suspect he has any negative intentions at all. I don’t want to spend my last year of high school still being sheltered by my parents. Do I just accept defeat and wait 10 months for my 18th birthday when I’m an adult and can do whatever I like? Is there something I can say to change my mom’s mind?