Are these orgasms ? (TW: mention of rape/SA/abuse) /u/bobloblawslawblog55 Sex

I (24F, straight, cis) am pretty sure that I’ve never had an orgasm. That is, until recently… And now, I don’t know what to think.

I apologize in advance for the long ass post, but I do believe that some context is necessary to fully understand my situation. The TW only applies to one paragraph, which is clearly identified in case anyone with SA/rape-related triggers still wants to read this.

I first started having sex when I was about 14. Both me and my partner had no prior experience, so naturally the sex was a bit meh. I’ve had 4-5 sexual partners since (all were either boyfriends or romantic interests), and even though sex has become much more enjoyable, I never got close to reaching orgasm with any of them. The sex pretty much always revolves around vaginal penetration, as I always found direct clitoral stimulation to be uncomfortable.

A few months into my first relationship, I got diagnosed with panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, and so I got put on antidepressants (Citalopram) for the first time. Since then, I have also been diagnosed with OCD and ADD, and I switched meds. I now take Zoloft (Sertraline) and Wellbutrin (Bupropion) to control my anxiety, which, annoyingly enough, is still a pretty important part of my day-to-day life 10 years later. I also take Vyvanse for my ADD.

** TW: mention of rape/abuse/SA ** It also feels necessary to mention that I have some residual sexual trauma. When I was 17, I was raped by my high school bf of 4 years. The first few years with him were fine, but in the end he had become emotionally abusive towards me, was constantly pressuring me to have sex with him, leaked my nudes in his friends’ groupchat… You get the picture. I’ve been to therapy since and it doesn’t hurt as much anymore, but it’s still bound to have left a mark.

I’ve always had a relatively high libido. However, I’ve never masturbated much ; Vaginal penetration doesn’t do it much for me, and as I’ve said direct clitoral stimulation felt like too much. That is, until my current bf (30M) made me realize that I have a hooded clit (didn’t even know this was a thing…), which led me to discover the concept of indirect stimulation. This was an ABSOLUTE game changer for me, and I quickly bought my first vibrating wand so I could further explore this new concept.

I have had this wand for around two months now, and I rarely spent more than 2 days without using it. Which (finally) leads me to the alleged “orgasms” in question.

Whenever I use it, I can feel my body going through the same stages of pleasure:

1. Excitement, which lasts a very long time (anywhere from 20min to 1.5h)

2. Arousal, where masturbating feels more frantic: I become very concentrated, I sweat, breathe heavily, feel my clit pulsate, etc.

3. “Orgasm”, where I feel a sudden release of pretty intense pleasure that lasts up to a few seconds: I twitch and moan, my heart beats faster, my whole body gets heated, etc.

4. Relaxation, where I immediately feel calm and tired after.

However, the release of pleasure still kinda feels too weak to be labeled as an orgasm; also, I can usually manage to reach that same release many times after, sometimes within just a few minutes of the first one, which feels too good to be true… Could I really be capable of having half a dozen orgasms within a few hours ? Can anyone ?

I know that antidepressants can make it difficult/impossible for people to reach orgasm, and I learned recently that they can also make orgasms weaker. The latter would make sense, as last summer I lowered my dose of Zoloft for the first time since I began taking it. Could those pleasure “symptoms” I’m experiencing just be micro-orgasms ? Or are they some kind of plateau phase just before the real orgasm, which I can’t reach because of my mental health issues and my meds’ side effects ?

Ever since I started having sex, I have felt insecure and discouraged by my inability to come. The more time would pass, the more I became convinced that there was something wrong with me, that I was broken and that I could never experience an orgasm.

Now that I finally figured out what works for me sexually, I am determined to figure out how to put an end to that 10-year blue balls streak of mine. I have discussed my situation with my friends and my bf, but they can only help me so much, since none of them have experienced similar problems.

I can only hope that this post will reach people who are/were in a similar situation or know people who have. Every opinion or piece of advice is welcome, so feel free to comment what you think below !

Finally, thank you to those who took the time to read this whole ass thesis ! Let me know your thoughts 😊

I (24F, straight, cis) am pretty sure that I’ve never had an orgasm. That is, until recently… And now, I don’t know what to think.

I apologize in advance for the long ass post, but I do believe that some context is necessary to fully understand my situation. The TW only applies to one paragraph, which is clearly identified in case anyone with SA/rape-related triggers still wants to read this.

I first started having sex when I was about 14. Both me and my partner had no prior experience, so naturally the sex was a bit meh. I’ve had 4-5 sexual partners since (all were either boyfriends or romantic interests), and even though sex has become much more enjoyable, I never got close to reaching orgasm with any of them. The sex pretty much always revolves around vaginal penetration, as I always found direct clitoral stimulation to be uncomfortable.

A few months into my first relationship, I got diagnosed with panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, and so I got put on antidepressants (Citalopram) for the first time. Since then, I have also been diagnosed with OCD and ADD, and I switched meds. I now take Zoloft (Sertraline) and Wellbutrin (Bupropion) to control my anxiety, which, annoyingly enough, is still a pretty important part of my day-to-day life 10 years later. I also take Vyvanse for my ADD.

** TW: mention of rape/abuse/SA ** It also feels necessary to mention that I have some residual sexual trauma. When I was 17, I was raped by my high school bf of 4 years. The first few years with him were fine, but in the end he had become emotionally abusive towards me, was constantly pressuring me to have sex with him, leaked my nudes in his friends’ groupchat… You get the picture. I’ve been to therapy since and it doesn’t hurt as much anymore, but it’s still bound to have left a mark.

I’ve always had a relatively high libido. However, I’ve never masturbated much ; Vaginal penetration doesn’t do it much for me, and as I’ve said direct clitoral stimulation felt like too much. That is, until my current bf (30M) made me realize that I have a hooded clit (didn’t even know this was a thing…), which led me to discover the concept of indirect stimulation. This was an ABSOLUTE game changer for me, and I quickly bought my first vibrating wand so I could further explore this new concept.

I have had this wand for around two months now, and I rarely spent more than 2 days without using it. Which (finally) leads me to the alleged “orgasms” in question.

Whenever I use it, I can feel my body going through the same stages of pleasure:

1. Excitement, which lasts a very long time (anywhere from 20min to 1.5h)

2. Arousal, where masturbating feels more frantic: I become very concentrated, I sweat, breathe heavily, feel my clit pulsate, etc.

3. “Orgasm”, where I feel a sudden release of pretty intense pleasure that lasts up to a few seconds: I twitch and moan, my heart beats faster, my whole body gets heated, etc.

4. Relaxation, where I immediately feel calm and tired after.

However, the release of pleasure still kinda feels too weak to be labeled as an orgasm; also, I can usually manage to reach that same release many times after, sometimes within just a few minutes of the first one, which feels too good to be true… Could I really be capable of having half a dozen orgasms within a few hours ? Can anyone ?

I know that antidepressants can make it difficult/impossible for people to reach orgasm, and I learned recently that they can also make orgasms weaker. The latter would make sense, as last summer I lowered my dose of Zoloft for the first time since I began taking it. Could those pleasure “symptoms” I’m experiencing just be micro-orgasms ? Or are they some kind of plateau phase just before the real orgasm, which I can’t reach because of my mental health issues and my meds’ side effects ?

Ever since I started having sex, I have felt insecure and discouraged by my inability to come. The more time would pass, the more I became convinced that there was something wrong with me, that I was broken and that I could never experience an orgasm.

Now that I finally figured out what works for me sexually, I am determined to figure out how to put an end to that 10-year blue balls streak of mine. I have discussed my situation with my friends and my bf, but they can only help me so much, since none of them have experienced similar problems.

I can only hope that this post will reach people who are/were in a similar situation or know people who have. Every opinion or piece of advice is welcome, so feel free to comment what you think below !

Finally, thank you to those who took the time to read this whole ass thesis ! Let me know your thoughts 😊