Me (21m) and my gf (21f) have always had miss matched libidos. Sometimes one of us is low and sometimes we’re both pent up. I feel for the most part i’ve always been relatively ready to go and in the mood as soon as we initiate intimacy but recently i’ve been having some trouble matching the energy. I’ve either been not in the mood or anxious while we are intimate and it eventually causes me to lose my mood. My gf after the past few times we were intimate has been supportive and comforting but afterwards will express her annoyance about me with snarky comments or cold remarks. It catches me off guard and makes me feel embarrassed and sad. I try and empathize with her about it as my favorite part about intimacy is pleasing my partner but the way she expresses herself about it is adding to the stress of the situation. I feel more insecure and lousy now and i don’t know how to get out of the funk. She’ll shoot me down whenever i try and flirt and now bashes the idea of us having sex insinuating that it’s unlikely. She uses the term blue balls now whenever i try and flirt with her. I understand she feels insecure now and i’m not neglecting that part of the situation. I give her reassurance and have explained the reason i’ve been having trouble recently many times to her and i’ll gladly reassure her and repeat myself as much as it takes so she fees secure but it’s hard to do that now when she constantly puts me down. She has had this same problem too. In the middle of intimacy she has stopped us saying she isn’t in the mood anymore and will have periods like that where her libido is low and I’ll admit i felt insecure too but i’d never make her feel bad for it. As often as it happened i never resented her or bashed her for it. and now that it’s happening to me her patience withered fast and she’s resulted to negative comments and it’s making the situation worse (as in im less hornier than ever). I’ve already expressed to her i don’t like the negative comments and that she is right to feel the way she feels but we can probably do without the putting down but it doesn’t feel like there’s another way to communicate our feelings with each other politely and respectfully. We both tried reassurance when this first started but now it feels like we’re far past that. Any advice or criticisms on how i should approach this now ?
submitted by /u/pb_jelly19
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r/sex Me (21m) and my gf (21f) have always had miss matched libidos. Sometimes one of us is low and sometimes we’re both pent up. I feel for the most part i’ve always been relatively ready to go and in the mood as soon as we initiate intimacy but recently i’ve been having some trouble matching the energy. I’ve either been not in the mood or anxious while we are intimate and it eventually causes me to lose my mood. My gf after the past few times we were intimate has been supportive and comforting but afterwards will express her annoyance about me with snarky comments or cold remarks. It catches me off guard and makes me feel embarrassed and sad. I try and empathize with her about it as my favorite part about intimacy is pleasing my partner but the way she expresses herself about it is adding to the stress of the situation. I feel more insecure and lousy now and i don’t know how to get out of the funk. She’ll shoot me down whenever i try and flirt and now bashes the idea of us having sex insinuating that it’s unlikely. She uses the term blue balls now whenever i try and flirt with her. I understand she feels insecure now and i’m not neglecting that part of the situation. I give her reassurance and have explained the reason i’ve been having trouble recently many times to her and i’ll gladly reassure her and repeat myself as much as it takes so she fees secure but it’s hard to do that now when she constantly puts me down. She has had this same problem too. In the middle of intimacy she has stopped us saying she isn’t in the mood anymore and will have periods like that where her libido is low and I’ll admit i felt insecure too but i’d never make her feel bad for it. As often as it happened i never resented her or bashed her for it. and now that it’s happening to me her patience withered fast and she’s resulted to negative comments and it’s making the situation worse (as in im less hornier than ever). I’ve already expressed to her i don’t like the negative comments and that she is right to feel the way she feels but we can probably do without the putting down but it doesn’t feel like there’s another way to communicate our feelings with each other politely and respectfully. We both tried reassurance when this first started but now it feels like we’re far past that. Any advice or criticisms on how i should approach this now ? submitted by /u/pb_jelly19 [link] [comments]
Me (21m) and my gf (21f) have always had miss matched libidos. Sometimes one of us is low and sometimes we’re both pent up. I feel for the most part i’ve always been relatively ready to go and in the mood as soon as we initiate intimacy but recently i’ve been having some trouble matching the energy. I’ve either been not in the mood or anxious while we are intimate and it eventually causes me to lose my mood. My gf after the past few times we were intimate has been supportive and comforting but afterwards will express her annoyance about me with snarky comments or cold remarks. It catches me off guard and makes me feel embarrassed and sad. I try and empathize with her about it as my favorite part about intimacy is pleasing my partner but the way she expresses herself about it is adding to the stress of the situation. I feel more insecure and lousy now and i don’t know how to get out of the funk. She’ll shoot me down whenever i try and flirt and now bashes the idea of us having sex insinuating that it’s unlikely. She uses the term blue balls now whenever i try and flirt with her. I understand she feels insecure now and i’m not neglecting that part of the situation. I give her reassurance and have explained the reason i’ve been having trouble recently many times to her and i’ll gladly reassure her and repeat myself as much as it takes so she fees secure but it’s hard to do that now when she constantly puts me down. She has had this same problem too. In the middle of intimacy she has stopped us saying she isn’t in the mood anymore and will have periods like that where her libido is low and I’ll admit i felt insecure too but i’d never make her feel bad for it. As often as it happened i never resented her or bashed her for it. and now that it’s happening to me her patience withered fast and she’s resulted to negative comments and it’s making the situation worse (as in im less hornier than ever). I’ve already expressed to her i don’t like the negative comments and that she is right to feel the way she feels but we can probably do without the putting down but it doesn’t feel like there’s another way to communicate our feelings with each other politely and respectfully. We both tried reassurance when this first started but now it feels like we’re far past that. Any advice or criticisms on how i should approach this now ?
submitted by /u/pb_jelly19
[link] [comments]