Long story short, I used to be really kinky but I lost interest in many of my kinks because they’re associated with some sexual trauma. I’m still interested in vanilla sex, but not BDSM, my toys, being tied up, or even my lingerie. But I don’t want to have vanilla sex, even though it doesn’t bother me because I have a strange feeling of resentment. Kink bothers me because of the trauma, but I received a certain gratification and pleasure from it that regular sex didn’t. Now that’s missing. I don’t want kink, but I want to want it. I miss enjoying and the feelings I got, even though I’m no longer interested. And losing that makes me angry and feel like a piece of me is missing. I don’t want regular sex because of it because I feel like something I don’t even want is missing. I feel like something has been taken from me and I can’t get it back the pleasure I want, but I also don’t want it because it’s been tainted. It’s a very hard feeling to explain. Any advice? Therapists don’t get it. They think I should be happy I’m still interested in sex.
Edit: I also should have clarified that there aren’t sex therapists in my area. I see a pelvic floor PT and the closest one that she knows is about 3 hours away from me. So finding a therapist that’s trained in sexual dysfunction or trauma will be hard, and finding a kink friendly one will be even harder.
submitted by /u/ghuouucvbj
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r/sex Long story short, I used to be really kinky but I lost interest in many of my kinks because they’re associated with some sexual trauma. I’m still interested in vanilla sex, but not BDSM, my toys, being tied up, or even my lingerie. But I don’t want to have vanilla sex, even though it doesn’t bother me because I have a strange feeling of resentment. Kink bothers me because of the trauma, but I received a certain gratification and pleasure from it that regular sex didn’t. Now that’s missing. I don’t want kink, but I want to want it. I miss enjoying and the feelings I got, even though I’m no longer interested. And losing that makes me angry and feel like a piece of me is missing. I don’t want regular sex because of it because I feel like something I don’t even want is missing. I feel like something has been taken from me and I can’t get it back the pleasure I want, but I also don’t want it because it’s been tainted. It’s a very hard feeling to explain. Any advice? Therapists don’t get it. They think I should be happy I’m still interested in sex. Edit: I also should have clarified that there aren’t sex therapists in my area. I see a pelvic floor PT and the closest one that she knows is about 3 hours away from me. So finding a therapist that’s trained in sexual dysfunction or trauma will be hard, and finding a kink friendly one will be even harder. submitted by /u/ghuouucvbj [link] [comments]
Long story short, I used to be really kinky but I lost interest in many of my kinks because they’re associated with some sexual trauma. I’m still interested in vanilla sex, but not BDSM, my toys, being tied up, or even my lingerie. But I don’t want to have vanilla sex, even though it doesn’t bother me because I have a strange feeling of resentment. Kink bothers me because of the trauma, but I received a certain gratification and pleasure from it that regular sex didn’t. Now that’s missing. I don’t want kink, but I want to want it. I miss enjoying and the feelings I got, even though I’m no longer interested. And losing that makes me angry and feel like a piece of me is missing. I don’t want regular sex because of it because I feel like something I don’t even want is missing. I feel like something has been taken from me and I can’t get it back the pleasure I want, but I also don’t want it because it’s been tainted. It’s a very hard feeling to explain. Any advice? Therapists don’t get it. They think I should be happy I’m still interested in sex.
Edit: I also should have clarified that there aren’t sex therapists in my area. I see a pelvic floor PT and the closest one that she knows is about 3 hours away from me. So finding a therapist that’s trained in sexual dysfunction or trauma will be hard, and finding a kink friendly one will be even harder.
submitted by /u/ghuouucvbj
[link] [comments]