How to Dom(?) when not a natural Dom /u/throwaway_8691220 Sex

Hi all, using a throwaway because irl people know my main.

I need some pointers!

My (f/30s) partner of over a year is introverted and shy, he grew up in a culture that is a bit repressed when it comes to sex. I have tried to get him to open up about likes and dislikes, but he is the type to always just say, “whatever you’re doing, I like” which is tough for me because am the type of person who loves to please and I’d love to actively do things he prefers. Everything I’ve discovered that he seems to like I’ve done so through trial and error. We have never spoken about how many past partners we have had, but I suspect I am more experienced.

I’ve always had the inclination that my partner might like to be dominated a bit (he has the tendency to put his arms up on the pillow when I’m on top as if he wants me to hold him down. I’ve obliged. I am very easy going in the relationship but thinking about it, there have been a few times I’ve really put my foot down and he immediately responded positively) If you were to classify me, I’d say I’m more inclined to be a bratty sub with a praise kink, but that’s not something we have explored much as he hasn’t really seemed into it and I didn’t want to push. Occasionally he will put his hand on my throat or lightly tug my hair, light spanks etc but I can tell it’s not something he is really into.

Anyway, we had quite a few drinks last night and we were getting down to the deed and he put his arms up and I jokingly asked, “do you want me to be mean to you?” (I dirty talk at times but he almost never responds). I was surprised that he said yes. I then asked if he wanted me to be “mean” verbally or physically and he said both.

Y’all, I do not have the natural inclination for this at all. I’m the type of person who catches spiders and puts them outside, I apologise when people bump into me etc. I am extremely willing to try to do things for him to please him, but I honestly have no clue how to be “mean” during sex. I tried to get him to give me an example but he acted really shy and shut down the conversation.

Can y’all give me some ideas of things to say or do that would be a gentle introduction (for both of us?) thanks in advance

Td;lr: Boyfriend wants me to be mean/dominate in bed but I am naturally submissive, help!

Hi all, using a throwaway because irl people know my main.

I need some pointers!

My (f/30s) partner of over a year is introverted and shy, he grew up in a culture that is a bit repressed when it comes to sex. I have tried to get him to open up about likes and dislikes, but he is the type to always just say, “whatever you’re doing, I like” which is tough for me because am the type of person who loves to please and I’d love to actively do things he prefers. Everything I’ve discovered that he seems to like I’ve done so through trial and error. We have never spoken about how many past partners we have had, but I suspect I am more experienced.

I’ve always had the inclination that my partner might like to be dominated a bit (he has the tendency to put his arms up on the pillow when I’m on top as if he wants me to hold him down. I’ve obliged. I am very easy going in the relationship but thinking about it, there have been a few times I’ve really put my foot down and he immediately responded positively) If you were to classify me, I’d say I’m more inclined to be a bratty sub with a praise kink, but that’s not something we have explored much as he hasn’t really seemed into it and I didn’t want to push. Occasionally he will put his hand on my throat or lightly tug my hair, light spanks etc but I can tell it’s not something he is really into.

Anyway, we had quite a few drinks last night and we were getting down to the deed and he put his arms up and I jokingly asked, “do you want me to be mean to you?” (I dirty talk at times but he almost never responds). I was surprised that he said yes. I then asked if he wanted me to be “mean” verbally or physically and he said both.

Y’all, I do not have the natural inclination for this at all. I’m the type of person who catches spiders and puts them outside, I apologise when people bump into me etc. I am extremely willing to try to do things for him to please him, but I honestly have no clue how to be “mean” during sex. I tried to get him to give me an example but he acted really shy and shut down the conversation.

Can y’all give me some ideas of things to say or do that would be a gentle introduction (for both of us?) thanks in advance

Td;lr: Boyfriend wants me to be mean/dominate in bed but I am naturally submissive, help!