(Warning: talks of childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault) (Repost for title change)
I (21 straight female) am deeply afraid of sex. I’ve been sexually abused since I was 10 years old, and I suffered a sexual assault in 2017 that has resulted in PTSD (yes, an official diagnosis). I’ve never experienced sex in a healthy way; it’s always been abusive and incredibly painful. Abusive boyfriend after abusive boyfriend and men using me as a rebound hasn’t helped, and I finally told myself, “that’s it: no more sex.” I physically cannot have sex with another man now. The thought alone makes me want to vomit. I can masturbate just fine, but sex with another man? No.
Simultaneously, I also deeply desire to be loved in an intimate manner, if that makes sense. While I’m terrified of sex, I crave for it to be done in the right way. I want to be held gently and told I’m beautiful and be showered with gentle affection while I have sex. I know, it sounds romantic and gross (believe me, I think so, too) but I still desire that.
Trauma after sexual assault and years of sexual abuse is common, but it’s a constant war between hating sex and desiring it. It’s destroying me. How can I communicate this with a potential partner?
submitted by /u/BakaBaka2020
[link] [comments]
r/sex (Warning: talks of childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault) (Repost for title change) I (21 straight female) am deeply afraid of sex. I’ve been sexually abused since I was 10 years old, and I suffered a sexual assault in 2017 that has resulted in PTSD (yes, an official diagnosis). I’ve never experienced sex in a healthy way; it’s always been abusive and incredibly painful. Abusive boyfriend after abusive boyfriend and men using me as a rebound hasn’t helped, and I finally told myself, “that’s it: no more sex.” I physically cannot have sex with another man now. The thought alone makes me want to vomit. I can masturbate just fine, but sex with another man? No. Simultaneously, I also deeply desire to be loved in an intimate manner, if that makes sense. While I’m terrified of sex, I crave for it to be done in the right way. I want to be held gently and told I’m beautiful and be showered with gentle affection while I have sex. I know, it sounds romantic and gross (believe me, I think so, too) but I still desire that. Trauma after sexual assault and years of sexual abuse is common, but it’s a constant war between hating sex and desiring it. It’s destroying me. How can I communicate this with a potential partner? submitted by /u/BakaBaka2020 [link] [comments]
(Warning: talks of childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault) (Repost for title change)
I (21 straight female) am deeply afraid of sex. I’ve been sexually abused since I was 10 years old, and I suffered a sexual assault in 2017 that has resulted in PTSD (yes, an official diagnosis). I’ve never experienced sex in a healthy way; it’s always been abusive and incredibly painful. Abusive boyfriend after abusive boyfriend and men using me as a rebound hasn’t helped, and I finally told myself, “that’s it: no more sex.” I physically cannot have sex with another man now. The thought alone makes me want to vomit. I can masturbate just fine, but sex with another man? No.
Simultaneously, I also deeply desire to be loved in an intimate manner, if that makes sense. While I’m terrified of sex, I crave for it to be done in the right way. I want to be held gently and told I’m beautiful and be showered with gentle affection while I have sex. I know, it sounds romantic and gross (believe me, I think so, too) but I still desire that.
Trauma after sexual assault and years of sexual abuse is common, but it’s a constant war between hating sex and desiring it. It’s destroying me. How can I communicate this with a potential partner?
submitted by /u/BakaBaka2020
[link] [comments]