Girlfriend (F25) not on BC and has some strict boundaries about me (M29) finishing inside/near her. Ideas on making my orgasms better? TW:SA /u/HolyGuacamoleLenny Sex

Trigger Warning: SA.

So in my last relationship of almost a year, I mostly had sex without a condom. I’d pull out and finish on her, or if I wore a condom I could finish inside her. She was on BC and we had some fun adventures sexually, but it was always just rough D/s sex and doesn’t come close to the level of romantic sex and intimacy I have now with this new girlfriend. The level of love and passion is just out of this world – we’ve always got music, candles, and dimmed lights going, and she cums constantly (10-20 times) when we have sex, so I’m always feeling like a god, and we often finish at the same time. It’s really fucking cool.

The issue is that my new girlfriend is not on BC, and we do want to have kids someday (so vasectomy is not an option). In addition to this, she’s experienced and healed from one past (but serious) SA experience in college. And since then, a couple boyfriends have taken condoms off while having sex with her, against her consent. And then even more recently, she had another SA experience about a month before we met. She spent years in therapy to heal this, and months taking Plan B during relationships because of these shitty people. She also has a bad history with trying different forms of female BC that always fucked up her body or hormones in some way.

So basically, she’s this absolute goddess of passion and affection. She’s also really fucking strong and I admire her for having to go through so much but staying so resilient and strong and loving. But she seems to not want my semen inside her, or on her, in any way. And I’m trying to come to understand what we can do, within her boundaries, that might help improve my orgasms. Because at the moment, I have to pull out + condom, or she takes me out of her mouth when I cum during a BJ. It feels like an amazing buildup for me, but sometimes the orgasms feel “ruined” like you might experience when you get RIGHT there, and then everything stops.

I think I’d be into having her play with my ass (I’ve done this a lot when masturbating) and that stimulation might improve my orgasms. I also think it would work if she gave me a handjob after I pulled out, so I don’t have to “jerk myself off” but that might be hard unless she’s really quick to grab me in just the right way. Her being on top might be the best position for this.

Is there anything else you guys can think of?

She has said that over time with more trust, she might open to some things – like me being able to stay inside of her while I finish, or her spitting during a BJ instead of just using her hands – but I now understand that I need to avoid asking for these things, at least for some time, because they lead to triggering moments for her.

Help a guy out? I love this woman, but worry that not feeling sexually fulfilled is going to lead to me having feelings of resentment. I feel like I should be totally happy with her, but also kind of hate that my last gf was cool with not using condoms, because I loved the feeling of that.

Trigger Warning: SA.

So in my last relationship of almost a year, I mostly had sex without a condom. I’d pull out and finish on her, or if I wore a condom I could finish inside her. She was on BC and we had some fun adventures sexually, but it was always just rough D/s sex and doesn’t come close to the level of romantic sex and intimacy I have now with this new girlfriend. The level of love and passion is just out of this world – we’ve always got music, candles, and dimmed lights going, and she cums constantly (10-20 times) when we have sex, so I’m always feeling like a god, and we often finish at the same time. It’s really fucking cool.

The issue is that my new girlfriend is not on BC, and we do want to have kids someday (so vasectomy is not an option). In addition to this, she’s experienced and healed from one past (but serious) SA experience in college. And since then, a couple boyfriends have taken condoms off while having sex with her, against her consent. And then even more recently, she had another SA experience about a month before we met. She spent years in therapy to heal this, and months taking Plan B during relationships because of these shitty people. She also has a bad history with trying different forms of female BC that always fucked up her body or hormones in some way.

So basically, she’s this absolute goddess of passion and affection. She’s also really fucking strong and I admire her for having to go through so much but staying so resilient and strong and loving. But she seems to not want my semen inside her, or on her, in any way. And I’m trying to come to understand what we can do, within her boundaries, that might help improve my orgasms. Because at the moment, I have to pull out + condom, or she takes me out of her mouth when I cum during a BJ. It feels like an amazing buildup for me, but sometimes the orgasms feel “ruined” like you might experience when you get RIGHT there, and then everything stops.

I think I’d be into having her play with my ass (I’ve done this a lot when masturbating) and that stimulation might improve my orgasms. I also think it would work if she gave me a handjob after I pulled out, so I don’t have to “jerk myself off” but that might be hard unless she’s really quick to grab me in just the right way. Her being on top might be the best position for this.

Is there anything else you guys can think of?

She has said that over time with more trust, she might open to some things – like me being able to stay inside of her while I finish, or her spitting during a BJ instead of just using her hands – but I now understand that I need to avoid asking for these things, at least for some time, because they lead to triggering moments for her.

Help a guy out? I love this woman, but worry that not feeling sexually fulfilled is going to lead to me having feelings of resentment. I feel like I should be totally happy with her, but also kind of hate that my last gf was cool with not using condoms, because I loved the feeling of that.