Bf doesn’t enjoy my pleasure /u/OwnCartoonist4229 Sex

My boyfriend (m/26) and I (f/26) are together for about two years now. Our sexual relationship started close to that. He has a dominant character – inside and outside the bedroom.

So the sex was rough from the beginning: slapping, choking, spitting, forcing. I enjoyed it at that time, mainly because I wasn’t too attached and because I gained own pleasure off of pleasuring him. But as our relationship progressed, it felt more and more wrong to me. I changed – maybe due to the discovery of feminist literature or due to self respect I learned in my last three years of therapy.

Sometimes he hit me really hard. Especially the slaps in my face. One time he pulled my hair so bad, that my neck cracked and I was in pain for days. He rarely gives me oral sex and if he does, it seems coerced and he immediately looses his erection. At first I thought, maybe it’s my taste – even though no man ever before told me so or made the impression. There usually isn’t any kind of foreplay and instead of asking why I’m not getting wet, he uses his spit. At this point I feel like he just doesn’t enjoys my pleasure at all.

I tried to talk with him about it, but he told me he would love to lick me. I also asked him for more softer sex, to touch and stroke me more, but nothing really changed.

There is this quote: „The secret ingredient to sex is love“ and it feels like it’s missing. He does love me very much and he shows me every day, but when it comes to sex it’s just all about him. What can I say to make him understand? Is there a even a chance this will change?

My boyfriend (m/26) and I (f/26) are together for about two years now. Our sexual relationship started close to that. He has a dominant character – inside and outside the bedroom.

So the sex was rough from the beginning: slapping, choking, spitting, forcing. I enjoyed it at that time, mainly because I wasn’t too attached and because I gained own pleasure off of pleasuring him. But as our relationship progressed, it felt more and more wrong to me. I changed – maybe due to the discovery of feminist literature or due to self respect I learned in my last three years of therapy.

Sometimes he hit me really hard. Especially the slaps in my face. One time he pulled my hair so bad, that my neck cracked and I was in pain for days. He rarely gives me oral sex and if he does, it seems coerced and he immediately looses his erection. At first I thought, maybe it’s my taste – even though no man ever before told me so or made the impression. There usually isn’t any kind of foreplay and instead of asking why I’m not getting wet, he uses his spit. At this point I feel like he just doesn’t enjoys my pleasure at all.

I tried to talk with him about it, but he told me he would love to lick me. I also asked him for more softer sex, to touch and stroke me more, but nothing really changed.

There is this quote: „The secret ingredient to sex is love“ and it feels like it’s missing. He does love me very much and he shows me every day, but when it comes to sex it’s just all about him. What can I say to make him understand? Is there a even a chance this will change?