MY HUSBAND BASICALLY HATES SEX AND ITS DRIVING ME INSANEEE!! ADVICE IS APPRECIATED /u/HearingGrouchy7451 Sex

I (26F) and my husband (27M) and i met when we were both 18. He was a neighbour. He is the most respectful guy i have ever met, loves me for who i am, supported me through everything, i love him a lot, he’s my whole world! we never had any issues, nothing at all! for context, i always knew he believed in loving someone’s soul and never wanted someone for their looks. i too always prioritized emotional understanding over anything, and as someone who had ALMOST been used for “sex” at one point, i really respected him. in my opinion, i’m an attractive female, in college i had guys a lot of guys hitting on me, even now, and he too in fact calls me pretty and beautiful very often too. at 20, we had decided we wanted to save ourselves for our marriage, and i think we both knew we were gonna end up marrying each other. he always said i’m perfect for him and i feel the same, until recently. we got married 6 months ago, and in this span of 6 MONTHS, WE HAD SEX ONCEEEEEE. our wedding night was basically us being over whelmed and telling each other how much we love each other, and i am not complaining at all. it was very sweet and wholesome. we went to italy for our honeymoon for 2 weeks, didnt have sex at all. i even made jokes about it to initiate something but it didnt work. however, we lost our virginity to each other 2 months ago.

recently its been bothering me, my sex life is 6 feet under the ground, and we trust each other with everything so i went and told him how i felt! he very respectfully told me that he feels sex is basically “loving and appreciating someone physically and he believes more in loving someone’s soul and he sees no point in having sex often unless we want to have children which we havent decided on yet.” (we both want 3 kids), but we are not too sure about when to have them. and then he proceeded to say that he doesnt want me cheating on him so he doesnt mind having sex with me to please me.

i responded by saying that i wasnt in the mood at that point and gave him a hug and went to bed. i felt bad as i dont want someone i truly love to do it as a chore instead of something that we both mutually want. its been killing me. i wont cheat on him ever, but i feel so rejected cause of this! he has always been my safe space but i am so stuck on what to do now. I LOVE HIM A LOT, WE HAVE EVERYTHING EXCEPT A GOOD SEX LIFE. he is not asexual but has this thought process and i dont completely agree with it. i am personally not someone who would have one night stands, it is not for me, i need to have emotional interdependence on someone before i can give in, and i dont see anything wrong with doing it with someone you love! i respect him but i have no idea what to do. i feel stuck. cant leave him but this dry as fuck sex life is driving me crazy. advice is appreciated. thank you.

I (26F) and my husband (27M) and i met when we were both 18. He was a neighbour. He is the most respectful guy i have ever met, loves me for who i am, supported me through everything, i love him a lot, he’s my whole world! we never had any issues, nothing at all! for context, i always knew he believed in loving someone’s soul and never wanted someone for their looks. i too always prioritized emotional understanding over anything, and as someone who had ALMOST been used for “sex” at one point, i really respected him. in my opinion, i’m an attractive female, in college i had guys a lot of guys hitting on me, even now, and he too in fact calls me pretty and beautiful very often too. at 20, we had decided we wanted to save ourselves for our marriage, and i think we both knew we were gonna end up marrying each other. he always said i’m perfect for him and i feel the same, until recently. we got married 6 months ago, and in this span of 6 MONTHS, WE HAD SEX ONCEEEEEE. our wedding night was basically us being over whelmed and telling each other how much we love each other, and i am not complaining at all. it was very sweet and wholesome. we went to italy for our honeymoon for 2 weeks, didnt have sex at all. i even made jokes about it to initiate something but it didnt work. however, we lost our virginity to each other 2 months ago.

recently its been bothering me, my sex life is 6 feet under the ground, and we trust each other with everything so i went and told him how i felt! he very respectfully told me that he feels sex is basically “loving and appreciating someone physically and he believes more in loving someone’s soul and he sees no point in having sex often unless we want to have children which we havent decided on yet.” (we both want 3 kids), but we are not too sure about when to have them. and then he proceeded to say that he doesnt want me cheating on him so he doesnt mind having sex with me to please me.

i responded by saying that i wasnt in the mood at that point and gave him a hug and went to bed. i felt bad as i dont want someone i truly love to do it as a chore instead of something that we both mutually want. its been killing me. i wont cheat on him ever, but i feel so rejected cause of this! he has always been my safe space but i am so stuck on what to do now. I LOVE HIM A LOT, WE HAVE EVERYTHING EXCEPT A GOOD SEX LIFE. he is not asexual but has this thought process and i dont completely agree with it. i am personally not someone who would have one night stands, it is not for me, i need to have emotional interdependence on someone before i can give in, and i dont see anything wrong with doing it with someone you love! i respect him but i have no idea what to do. i feel stuck. cant leave him but this dry as fuck sex life is driving me crazy. advice is appreciated. thank you.