I’ll try to make this brief.
I’ve (32F) been with my SO (30M) for 3 years. I understand the frequency of sex will generally die down in a LTR, but I feel like once a week is acceptable for me. I derive a lot of my connection to my SO thru sex specifically. I’ve communicated this to my SO. He claims sex isn’t a priority for him in a relationship and he cares much more about the other things (cuddling, quality time, etc).
He does not like me to be playful to indicate I’m in the mood.. so I can’t squeeze his bum or touch his dick or anything like that or he gets annoyed and tells me stop. So, it’s gotten to the point where I have wait around to see if he’ll initiate and if he doesn’t I have to basically say, “it’s been a week, are we gonna do it or what?” It’s sucks bc obviously that’s not romantic or cute but idk how else to tell him I have the need if he doesn’t want me to be playful or hint in a cute way.
Well, last night came to a head bc it’s been over a week and I don’t feel as connected to him and I told him how I was feeling and he said that he understands but he didn’t want to have sex and that it feels like “pity sex or a chore” when he has to have sex with me just bc he knows that’s what i want and not necessarily what he wants. This hurt to hear but I guess I understand. The other thing is I know he’s taking care of himself when I’m not around and I feel like that could be impacting the frequency with which we have sex bc if he’s jerking off to porn, he’s not gonna feel horny enough to have sex with me. I’ve masturbated a lot since I was young and it’s honestly lost it’s appeal in the last few years so that will not help me feel better nor will it nurture any connected feelings to my partner.
Again, I’m aware I can’t expect him to want to have sex as much as I do but I want to know what other people do when they’re rejected by their partner or how they cope with having a higher sex need than their partner. It’s causing me so much sadness rn…
Tl;dr SO wants sex way less than me and I don’t know what to do to make myself feel better about it
submitted by /u/still_on_a_whisper
[link] [comments]
r/sex I’ll try to make this brief. I’ve (32F) been with my SO (30M) for 3 years. I understand the frequency of sex will generally die down in a LTR, but I feel like once a week is acceptable for me. I derive a lot of my connection to my SO thru sex specifically. I’ve communicated this to my SO. He claims sex isn’t a priority for him in a relationship and he cares much more about the other things (cuddling, quality time, etc). He does not like me to be playful to indicate I’m in the mood.. so I can’t squeeze his bum or touch his dick or anything like that or he gets annoyed and tells me stop. So, it’s gotten to the point where I have wait around to see if he’ll initiate and if he doesn’t I have to basically say, “it’s been a week, are we gonna do it or what?” It’s sucks bc obviously that’s not romantic or cute but idk how else to tell him I have the need if he doesn’t want me to be playful or hint in a cute way. Well, last night came to a head bc it’s been over a week and I don’t feel as connected to him and I told him how I was feeling and he said that he understands but he didn’t want to have sex and that it feels like “pity sex or a chore” when he has to have sex with me just bc he knows that’s what i want and not necessarily what he wants. This hurt to hear but I guess I understand. The other thing is I know he’s taking care of himself when I’m not around and I feel like that could be impacting the frequency with which we have sex bc if he’s jerking off to porn, he’s not gonna feel horny enough to have sex with me. I’ve masturbated a lot since I was young and it’s honestly lost it’s appeal in the last few years so that will not help me feel better nor will it nurture any connected feelings to my partner. Again, I’m aware I can’t expect him to want to have sex as much as I do but I want to know what other people do when they’re rejected by their partner or how they cope with having a higher sex need than their partner. It’s causing me so much sadness rn… Tl;dr SO wants sex way less than me and I don’t know what to do to make myself feel better about it submitted by /u/still_on_a_whisper [link] [comments]
I’ll try to make this brief.
I’ve (32F) been with my SO (30M) for 3 years. I understand the frequency of sex will generally die down in a LTR, but I feel like once a week is acceptable for me. I derive a lot of my connection to my SO thru sex specifically. I’ve communicated this to my SO. He claims sex isn’t a priority for him in a relationship and he cares much more about the other things (cuddling, quality time, etc).
He does not like me to be playful to indicate I’m in the mood.. so I can’t squeeze his bum or touch his dick or anything like that or he gets annoyed and tells me stop. So, it’s gotten to the point where I have wait around to see if he’ll initiate and if he doesn’t I have to basically say, “it’s been a week, are we gonna do it or what?” It’s sucks bc obviously that’s not romantic or cute but idk how else to tell him I have the need if he doesn’t want me to be playful or hint in a cute way.
Well, last night came to a head bc it’s been over a week and I don’t feel as connected to him and I told him how I was feeling and he said that he understands but he didn’t want to have sex and that it feels like “pity sex or a chore” when he has to have sex with me just bc he knows that’s what i want and not necessarily what he wants. This hurt to hear but I guess I understand. The other thing is I know he’s taking care of himself when I’m not around and I feel like that could be impacting the frequency with which we have sex bc if he’s jerking off to porn, he’s not gonna feel horny enough to have sex with me. I’ve masturbated a lot since I was young and it’s honestly lost it’s appeal in the last few years so that will not help me feel better nor will it nurture any connected feelings to my partner.
Again, I’m aware I can’t expect him to want to have sex as much as I do but I want to know what other people do when they’re rejected by their partner or how they cope with having a higher sex need than their partner. It’s causing me so much sadness rn…
Tl;dr SO wants sex way less than me and I don’t know what to do to make myself feel better about it
submitted by /u/still_on_a_whisper
[link] [comments]