I’ve only just realized what huge impact dissociation has had on my sex life. For those of you who struggle with dissociation as a result of anxiety how did you overcome it? /u/Toesbeforebros_ Sex

Me and my partner recently had a turning point kind of fight about me not being present when we have sex. I love him, i’m attracted to him, and I do crave sex but throughout our relationship I have checked out mentally due to a number of reasons, some examples include, not feeling much in my vagina, not being able to get lost in the sensations like he does, thinking i’m of the worst sexual partners he’s ever had.

My boyfriend has had a very long sexual history before me that I know quite a bit about because we were extremely close friends before we got together (I mean we still are friends but he wouldn’t talk about that kind of stuff with me now). I wasn’t a virgin, but I definitely was not as experienced as him. I had very high expectations for sex and when it wasn’t as explosive as I imagined (No pleasurable sensations in my vagina, and it was hard to cum by another persons hands) I was a bit crushed.

My boyfriend had said that he gets most turned on when I am extremely turned on and having an amazing time. Cue shame, guilt, and lots of pressure I mounted on myself for not being able to enjoy sex with the person I love more than anything in the world.

My boyfriend is amazing and he has always stated that he is in it for the long haul and that the two of us will work things out. We’ve lived together for a year and some failed attempts in achieving that sexual chemistry really stressed me out and made me feel broken which lead me constantly disassociating when I knew things were leading up to sex because the pressure was too much.

Well we had this turning point fight which was great and really needed actually. In the end it made us more unified and determined to work on our communication and try to make 2023 the year I really enjoy sex to the fullest.

It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed sex before I just have a mental block most of the time which inhibits me from really letting loose so to speak. We tried sex while smoking weed and it was AMAZING for me, I was shaking and screaming. But that’s not really a sustainable option for us to do every time we have sex.

I tried to masturbate today for the first time in a long time and I realized something that I had never attempted to make sense of.

I was watching porn, MF, and I wasn’t really interested in the guy just the girl. Except I wasn’t turned on by her body but rather her confidence, sultry nature, and control I guess (not in a domineering sort of way rather the control she had over her body and the movements).

I came by pretending I had those qualities and could enjoy sex the way she did and be that sure of myself. It was not a satisfying orgasm, just short and I was completely turned off after the fact maybe because I was longing for something I don’t know how to have yet.

I’ve been experiencing the above scenario for a few years now but I have never thought deeply about what I was doing or why I felt negatively afterwards, kinda crazy.

I haven’t been able to deal with my insecurity/anxiety about sex and it has affected my relationship and my own mental health over the past few years. I’ve felt broken and like less than a woman. But now I have gotten to the root of the problem, I’m just not really sure where I go from here. Advice?

Me and my partner recently had a turning point kind of fight about me not being present when we have sex. I love him, i’m attracted to him, and I do crave sex but throughout our relationship I have checked out mentally due to a number of reasons, some examples include, not feeling much in my vagina, not being able to get lost in the sensations like he does, thinking i’m of the worst sexual partners he’s ever had.

My boyfriend has had a very long sexual history before me that I know quite a bit about because we were extremely close friends before we got together (I mean we still are friends but he wouldn’t talk about that kind of stuff with me now). I wasn’t a virgin, but I definitely was not as experienced as him. I had very high expectations for sex and when it wasn’t as explosive as I imagined (No pleasurable sensations in my vagina, and it was hard to cum by another persons hands) I was a bit crushed.

My boyfriend had said that he gets most turned on when I am extremely turned on and having an amazing time. Cue shame, guilt, and lots of pressure I mounted on myself for not being able to enjoy sex with the person I love more than anything in the world.

My boyfriend is amazing and he has always stated that he is in it for the long haul and that the two of us will work things out. We’ve lived together for a year and some failed attempts in achieving that sexual chemistry really stressed me out and made me feel broken which lead me constantly disassociating when I knew things were leading up to sex because the pressure was too much.

Well we had this turning point fight which was great and really needed actually. In the end it made us more unified and determined to work on our communication and try to make 2023 the year I really enjoy sex to the fullest.

It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed sex before I just have a mental block most of the time which inhibits me from really letting loose so to speak. We tried sex while smoking weed and it was AMAZING for me, I was shaking and screaming. But that’s not really a sustainable option for us to do every time we have sex.

I tried to masturbate today for the first time in a long time and I realized something that I had never attempted to make sense of.

I was watching porn, MF, and I wasn’t really interested in the guy just the girl. Except I wasn’t turned on by her body but rather her confidence, sultry nature, and control I guess (not in a domineering sort of way rather the control she had over her body and the movements).

I came by pretending I had those qualities and could enjoy sex the way she did and be that sure of myself. It was not a satisfying orgasm, just short and I was completely turned off after the fact maybe because I was longing for something I don’t know how to have yet.

I’ve been experiencing the above scenario for a few years now but I have never thought deeply about what I was doing or why I felt negatively afterwards, kinda crazy.

I haven’t been able to deal with my insecurity/anxiety about sex and it has affected my relationship and my own mental health over the past few years. I’ve felt broken and like less than a woman. But now I have gotten to the root of the problem, I’m just not really sure where I go from here. Advice?