Is “accidental anal” a common occurance? /u/Harrisiggy Sex

The other night I (F24) hooked up with someone I met at a music event (not the best idea, I know). We were both under the influence (I was on ecstacy, he was drunk). From what I remember, his penis had pressed against my anus a number of times, and I would object. However, one time, his penis fully penetrated my anus. I said no straight away and told him that it wasn’t OK. He was instantly apologetic and said it was an accident. His reaction seemed believable, besides he did seem quite clumsy at sex (he kept slipping out an unusual amount of times). However, I believe that not long after, he pressed his penis against my anus again. I tried to clarify my boundary with him (English was not his first language). He asked if he could “finish” inside my ass and also asked why I didn’t like anal. I said that I wasn’t prepared for it and we had only just met. He said that he understood. He did, however, keep trying to finger my anus, which I also wasn’t comfortable with so I would try to take his hand away. I should have said “no” more explicitly to the fingering, though.

I felt pretty gross about the encounter and a little violated. I am not saying it was assault as the full penetration did seem like a drunken accident, but it still seemed like my boundaries were not respected throughout. I sort of blame myself for sleeping with a stranger intoxicated and for not being firmer. I also wonder if language barriers/cultural differences played a part. I am just wondering about outside perspectives.

The other night I (F24) hooked up with someone I met at a music event (not the best idea, I know). We were both under the influence (I was on ecstacy, he was drunk). From what I remember, his penis had pressed against my anus a number of times, and I would object. However, one time, his penis fully penetrated my anus. I said no straight away and told him that it wasn’t OK. He was instantly apologetic and said it was an accident. His reaction seemed believable, besides he did seem quite clumsy at sex (he kept slipping out an unusual amount of times). However, I believe that not long after, he pressed his penis against my anus again. I tried to clarify my boundary with him (English was not his first language). He asked if he could “finish” inside my ass and also asked why I didn’t like anal. I said that I wasn’t prepared for it and we had only just met. He said that he understood. He did, however, keep trying to finger my anus, which I also wasn’t comfortable with so I would try to take his hand away. I should have said “no” more explicitly to the fingering, though.

I felt pretty gross about the encounter and a little violated. I am not saying it was assault as the full penetration did seem like a drunken accident, but it still seemed like my boundaries were not respected throughout. I sort of blame myself for sleeping with a stranger intoxicated and for not being firmer. I also wonder if language barriers/cultural differences played a part. I am just wondering about outside perspectives.