We’ve been together 4 years, pretty much would only have sex when drunk (very rarely sober). Drunk sex was always great but even so I’ve only had maybe a handful of orgasms our entire relationship. Now we aren’t going out/drinking as much so we maybe have sex once per 1-2 months but we’ve talked about trying more and so we’ve been going for it somewhat more frequently.
His foreplay game sober has been not great (and feels half-assed) and once he cums it’s over. And he’s self conscious regarding how quickly he cums. And I guess self conscious of everything. I don’t mind but I do mind that everything ends once he finishes.
I’ve been trying to give him feedback during sex like “can you use less pressure” or “can you move up/down a little” but the other night he got really pissed, said that I’m putting too much pressure on him, said that I’m embarrassing him etc. He feels like I’m always scrutinizing him and making him feel inadequate and that he’s not doing enough to pleasure me (which he’s not and sex isn’t really fun for me).
For context, these last few years have been very stressful for him with a lot of personal trauma to work through. He’s just now working through these things and I realize I’ve been very hard on him but I don’t know what to do. He’s so upset with me and said he’s never been so hurt in his life because of my criticism. Do I just not say anything anymore and deal with it? I don’t understand where we’re supposed to go from here. Help? Feels like we’re headed for true dead bedroom territory.
Tldr – Voicing my sexual needs repeatedly during sex made my partner ashamed, embarrassed and small. I don’t know how to move forward.
submitted by /u/gujubooboo
[link] [comments]
r/sex We’ve been together 4 years, pretty much would only have sex when drunk (very rarely sober). Drunk sex was always great but even so I’ve only had maybe a handful of orgasms our entire relationship. Now we aren’t going out/drinking as much so we maybe have sex once per 1-2 months but we’ve talked about trying more and so we’ve been going for it somewhat more frequently. His foreplay game sober has been not great (and feels half-assed) and once he cums it’s over. And he’s self conscious regarding how quickly he cums. And I guess self conscious of everything. I don’t mind but I do mind that everything ends once he finishes. I’ve been trying to give him feedback during sex like “can you use less pressure” or “can you move up/down a little” but the other night he got really pissed, said that I’m putting too much pressure on him, said that I’m embarrassing him etc. He feels like I’m always scrutinizing him and making him feel inadequate and that he’s not doing enough to pleasure me (which he’s not and sex isn’t really fun for me). For context, these last few years have been very stressful for him with a lot of personal trauma to work through. He’s just now working through these things and I realize I’ve been very hard on him but I don’t know what to do. He’s so upset with me and said he’s never been so hurt in his life because of my criticism. Do I just not say anything anymore and deal with it? I don’t understand where we’re supposed to go from here. Help? Feels like we’re headed for true dead bedroom territory. Tldr – Voicing my sexual needs repeatedly during sex made my partner ashamed, embarrassed and small. I don’t know how to move forward. submitted by /u/gujubooboo [link] [comments]
We’ve been together 4 years, pretty much would only have sex when drunk (very rarely sober). Drunk sex was always great but even so I’ve only had maybe a handful of orgasms our entire relationship. Now we aren’t going out/drinking as much so we maybe have sex once per 1-2 months but we’ve talked about trying more and so we’ve been going for it somewhat more frequently.
His foreplay game sober has been not great (and feels half-assed) and once he cums it’s over. And he’s self conscious regarding how quickly he cums. And I guess self conscious of everything. I don’t mind but I do mind that everything ends once he finishes.
I’ve been trying to give him feedback during sex like “can you use less pressure” or “can you move up/down a little” but the other night he got really pissed, said that I’m putting too much pressure on him, said that I’m embarrassing him etc. He feels like I’m always scrutinizing him and making him feel inadequate and that he’s not doing enough to pleasure me (which he’s not and sex isn’t really fun for me).
For context, these last few years have been very stressful for him with a lot of personal trauma to work through. He’s just now working through these things and I realize I’ve been very hard on him but I don’t know what to do. He’s so upset with me and said he’s never been so hurt in his life because of my criticism. Do I just not say anything anymore and deal with it? I don’t understand where we’re supposed to go from here. Help? Feels like we’re headed for true dead bedroom territory.
Tldr – Voicing my sexual needs repeatedly during sex made my partner ashamed, embarrassed and small. I don’t know how to move forward.
submitted by /u/gujubooboo
[link] [comments]