Cried during a hook up /u/twentythreeblue Sex

I (F24) met a guy whilst out with friends. He came home with me and we had sex. There was some regret in the morning and I wasn’t sure if I was attracted to him. Still, he had invited me and my friends for dinner at his place the following day and I thought it could be nice as we all seemed to get on.

Fast forward to the next day (today), my friends can’t make the dinner. I decide to go by myself as he had already prepared food and it would have been unfair if no one showed. Some point during the dinner, I started getting really teary and emotional because I still have feelings for a guy I was in a situationship with (the wine wasn’t helping). I tried to hold it together.

When we got to his room, he noticed I was upset. We lied down and talked a little and he said there was no pressure for a relationship, etc. Then when things escalated to sex, I was just not feeling it. I hardly got wet (I usually get wet pretty easily) so he used some lube. The sex itself was a little painful at times and I was crying throughout, which I was somewhat able to disguise due to not facing him most of the time. I wasn’t crying because of the pain, more so because of the feeling that I was betraying myself as I didn’t want sex without an emotional connection. I felt like a sex worker (no hate towards sex workers) because the attraction just wasn’t there.

I should have been honest straight away but I have some people pleasing tendencies I need to deal with. I eventually admitted I was in a little pain and we stopped. I calmed down a bit after that. He tried to initiate a couple more times before I left but I deterred carrying on with the sex.

I feel sort of deflated and guilty now. I’ve had sex with people I didn’t feel connected to before and I’m upset I’ve let it happen again. I am just wondering if anyone can relate or has some helpful words as I’ve just got home and I’m struggling a bit.

I (F24) met a guy whilst out with friends. He came home with me and we had sex. There was some regret in the morning and I wasn’t sure if I was attracted to him. Still, he had invited me and my friends for dinner at his place the following day and I thought it could be nice as we all seemed to get on.

Fast forward to the next day (today), my friends can’t make the dinner. I decide to go by myself as he had already prepared food and it would have been unfair if no one showed. Some point during the dinner, I started getting really teary and emotional because I still have feelings for a guy I was in a situationship with (the wine wasn’t helping). I tried to hold it together.

When we got to his room, he noticed I was upset. We lied down and talked a little and he said there was no pressure for a relationship, etc. Then when things escalated to sex, I was just not feeling it. I hardly got wet (I usually get wet pretty easily) so he used some lube. The sex itself was a little painful at times and I was crying throughout, which I was somewhat able to disguise due to not facing him most of the time. I wasn’t crying because of the pain, more so because of the feeling that I was betraying myself as I didn’t want sex without an emotional connection. I felt like a sex worker (no hate towards sex workers) because the attraction just wasn’t there.

I should have been honest straight away but I have some people pleasing tendencies I need to deal with. I eventually admitted I was in a little pain and we stopped. I calmed down a bit after that. He tried to initiate a couple more times before I left but I deterred carrying on with the sex.

I feel sort of deflated and guilty now. I’ve had sex with people I didn’t feel connected to before and I’m upset I’ve let it happen again. I am just wondering if anyone can relate or has some helpful words as I’ve just got home and I’m struggling a bit.