My boyfriend doing the work makes me feel degraded and I don’t know how to tell him. /u/secretsarekepthere Sex

This is a bit long so sorry about that, but I do really need advice.

From ages 15-17 my new step brother would constantly SA me and it would feel so extremely degrading. The thing is, it didn’t change my sex drive, I’d orgasm 2x day for years, but it changed the way I view sex.

At 18 when I moved out and got my first boyfriend (now ex) I discovered I love taking control and I need sex once a day.

Now at 20 and with bf I’ve been with for a year, he also likes me taking control but whenever he takes control it feels so degrading. Even if he’s the one doing the work for more than a few minutes I feel degraded. I want him to do the work sometimes but can’t get over this feeling of being used.

We’re both athletes so sometimes I’m too sore to do all the work, so I just say no to sex all together.

I don’t know how to tell him the reason I feel so degraded, I haven’t told him I feel this way and it hasn’t been an issue.

It feels so stupid when it’s the most natural thing. I cant even let him thrust without having this feeling of “I really am useless”

He’s a really shysweet guy and I know he’d be understanding, but this is more of a me issue. I’ll feel so embarrassed that something so natural makes me feel this way.

This is a bit long so sorry about that, but I do really need advice.

From ages 15-17 my new step brother would constantly SA me and it would feel so extremely degrading. The thing is, it didn’t change my sex drive, I’d orgasm 2x day for years, but it changed the way I view sex.

At 18 when I moved out and got my first boyfriend (now ex) I discovered I love taking control and I need sex once a day.

Now at 20 and with bf I’ve been with for a year, he also likes me taking control but whenever he takes control it feels so degrading. Even if he’s the one doing the work for more than a few minutes I feel degraded. I want him to do the work sometimes but can’t get over this feeling of being used.

We’re both athletes so sometimes I’m too sore to do all the work, so I just say no to sex all together.

I don’t know how to tell him the reason I feel so degraded, I haven’t told him I feel this way and it hasn’t been an issue.

It feels so stupid when it’s the most natural thing. I cant even let him thrust without having this feeling of “I really am useless”

He’s a really shysweet guy and I know he’d be understanding, but this is more of a me issue. I’ll feel so embarrassed that something so natural makes me feel this way.