I (30M) want to embrace my sexuality and want to learn to enjoy it and am struggling with the practical steps /u/NotGoodNotBadJustMe Sex

Ok so Ive been doing a lot of thinking lately (as my post history can attest) and I”m trying to work on my issues around sexuality.

To summarize I grew up in purity culture and now I”m trying to learn how to enjoy my sexual desires and not automatically feel ashamed about them. I feel embarrassed just being attracted to a woman, I feel embarrassed about sexual desires, I feel embarrassed about wanting to masturbate. So I’m starting from there.

Unfortunately due to some life circumstances I don’t want to go into, it will be at least 6-8 months before I can consider dating anyone. Which also makes this difficult to work through.

What I want:

I’m at a place where, I just want to be the opposite of what Ive always been. I want to be SUPER open sexually, probably to open. When I’m horny I want to go look at porn and masturbate, I want to talk about it, I want to admit that I like stuff. I want just fully give in to all those desires. I want to talk to people about it, I want to have my ups and downs in regards to working through this stuff and it be ok and to be accepted. Ive tried to find communities online where I could get to know people on a person level to talk about this stuff with but most of them are full of weird dynamics and frankly creepy people. I’m weird, I’m pent up, I want to be hypersexual, but I also don’t want to be a creep, or to be around it.

I want to be able to admit when I’m attracted to someone. I want to enjoy porn without it being a “big” deal. Eventually of course I want to be sexual with an actual person, but since (Even online) still have so much anxiety about this stuff I Just want to START here. Just a small stepping stone of getting comfortable with conversing, with making post like this one, with enjoying porn without it being a big deal. Then in 6 months when I’m in a position to date again I can start really put myself out there.

Ive tried to find communities and stuff online, or get to know people who are open to talking about and exploring this stuff but its been hit or miss. Its been VERY helpful when I have those conversations but creeps are a real thing. I want someone who I can talk to this stuff about who still treats me as a person not just a fetishized object.

I want to learn to be sex positive, but its not like there are support groups for moving through purity culture garbage. Anyways, I hope someone here has some helpful advice to me. Hit me with it.

Ok so Ive been doing a lot of thinking lately (as my post history can attest) and I”m trying to work on my issues around sexuality.

To summarize I grew up in purity culture and now I”m trying to learn how to enjoy my sexual desires and not automatically feel ashamed about them. I feel embarrassed just being attracted to a woman, I feel embarrassed about sexual desires, I feel embarrassed about wanting to masturbate. So I’m starting from there.

Unfortunately due to some life circumstances I don’t want to go into, it will be at least 6-8 months before I can consider dating anyone. Which also makes this difficult to work through.

What I want:

I’m at a place where, I just want to be the opposite of what Ive always been. I want to be SUPER open sexually, probably to open. When I’m horny I want to go look at porn and masturbate, I want to talk about it, I want to admit that I like stuff. I want just fully give in to all those desires. I want to talk to people about it, I want to have my ups and downs in regards to working through this stuff and it be ok and to be accepted. Ive tried to find communities online where I could get to know people on a person level to talk about this stuff with but most of them are full of weird dynamics and frankly creepy people. I’m weird, I’m pent up, I want to be hypersexual, but I also don’t want to be a creep, or to be around it.

I want to be able to admit when I’m attracted to someone. I want to enjoy porn without it being a “big” deal. Eventually of course I want to be sexual with an actual person, but since (Even online) still have so much anxiety about this stuff I Just want to START here. Just a small stepping stone of getting comfortable with conversing, with making post like this one, with enjoying porn without it being a big deal. Then in 6 months when I’m in a position to date again I can start really put myself out there.

Ive tried to find communities and stuff online, or get to know people who are open to talking about and exploring this stuff but its been hit or miss. Its been VERY helpful when I have those conversations but creeps are a real thing. I want someone who I can talk to this stuff about who still treats me as a person not just a fetishized object.

I want to learn to be sex positive, but its not like there are support groups for moving through purity culture garbage. Anyways, I hope someone here has some helpful advice to me. Hit me with it.