How to relax enough for cunnilingus? /u/Formal_Control_413 Sex

So, I(18f) had pretty much every form of sex except for receiving oral. Which I used to be fine with but now I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out.

The problem is, I pretty much panic whenever my partner attempts to eat me out. As soon as I feel his lips near my pubic mound I grab his head and bring him up to kiss me or something, just, anything to get him away. It doesn’t matter that he’s willing to do it, I still get a sick feeling that I don’t deserve it and he’s only doing it because he has to. I have no reason to think this beyond my own insecurities but I thought I’d be over it by now. I give oral sex to my partner and absolutely love doing it but lately he’s been telling me how he wants to taste me and that he doesn’t know why I won’t let him. Tbh I don’t even know why myself— it just doesn’t feel right.

How do I get in the right mindset to receive oral? I think I want to but I’m scared of his reaction and if he decides he doesn’t like it anymore. I don’t really hate the way my vulva looks, but the thought of having so much attention on me makes me feel weirdly selfish and insecure. I prefer when we’re both being pleasured because I don’t worry about if I’m doing enough or he’s enjoying it. But just me being pleasured? That’s a separate ballpark.

Any advice, ideas, or similar experiences would be much appreciated.

So, I(18f) had pretty much every form of sex except for receiving oral. Which I used to be fine with but now I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out.

The problem is, I pretty much panic whenever my partner attempts to eat me out. As soon as I feel his lips near my pubic mound I grab his head and bring him up to kiss me or something, just, anything to get him away. It doesn’t matter that he’s willing to do it, I still get a sick feeling that I don’t deserve it and he’s only doing it because he has to. I have no reason to think this beyond my own insecurities but I thought I’d be over it by now. I give oral sex to my partner and absolutely love doing it but lately he’s been telling me how he wants to taste me and that he doesn’t know why I won’t let him. Tbh I don’t even know why myself— it just doesn’t feel right.

How do I get in the right mindset to receive oral? I think I want to but I’m scared of his reaction and if he decides he doesn’t like it anymore. I don’t really hate the way my vulva looks, but the thought of having so much attention on me makes me feel weirdly selfish and insecure. I prefer when we’re both being pleasured because I don’t worry about if I’m doing enough or he’s enjoying it. But just me being pleasured? That’s a separate ballpark.

Any advice, ideas, or similar experiences would be much appreciated.