She says I make everything about myself /u/monkeygm Sex

My girlfriend (19f) and me (22m) are having a fight about something that happened earlier this weekend. It started some weeks before with her saying that she doesn’t like when I initiate sex and she always gets in the mood during but feels like I used her after. She suggested that we should only do stuff if she initiates and I agreed. I messed up a couple of weeks ago because I thought now that we done it a couple times it shouldn’t be a problem if I initiated. I did but after that she explained that it made her feel like I don’t listen. I apologized and said that we shouldn’t do anything sex related for about 3 months because I don’t want to make her feel that way again. I feel like she should be the most safe around me and don’t want to hurt her like that again. Fast forward a couple weeks later and we met her family for some catching up and we were tipsy after some drinking, her more than me. We got home around late midnight and we were cuddling and then she started kissing me. I asked her if she was sure because I still wanted to wait till the time was over that I said we shouldn’t do anything sex related. She said she was sure and we did it. Didn’t go so well. The next day we were cuddling again and I felt her moving her ass toward me like when she got horny and I again asked her if she was ok and I wanted to wait. She said it was fine as long as she initiates and I also got horny and we started. After she came from grinding I was still horny and asked for sex and she said no. I asked why and she broke down. I know I shouldn’t have asked why but I did because I thought I did some wrong. While she was crying I let her be for like 2 or 3mins and asked her what I did wrong. She explained when she says no I shouldn’t ask her that and it makes her seem like was wrong. I said no because I wanted to know if she was ok. She went to therapy and later said she needed time alone. I ask her this morning if was feeling okay or better and said no. I asked her if I may know what was wrong. She said her therapist said I make everything about myself because I started blaming myself instead of talking to her. I did talk to her and asked her if she was fine and told her I was sorry. She then got mad again and said not to make everything about myself. Am I the asshole for not seeing about making everything about myself ? And how did I do that

My girlfriend (19f) and me (22m) are having a fight about something that happened earlier this weekend. It started some weeks before with her saying that she doesn’t like when I initiate sex and she always gets in the mood during but feels like I used her after. She suggested that we should only do stuff if she initiates and I agreed. I messed up a couple of weeks ago because I thought now that we done it a couple times it shouldn’t be a problem if I initiated. I did but after that she explained that it made her feel like I don’t listen. I apologized and said that we shouldn’t do anything sex related for about 3 months because I don’t want to make her feel that way again. I feel like she should be the most safe around me and don’t want to hurt her like that again. Fast forward a couple weeks later and we met her family for some catching up and we were tipsy after some drinking, her more than me. We got home around late midnight and we were cuddling and then she started kissing me. I asked her if she was sure because I still wanted to wait till the time was over that I said we shouldn’t do anything sex related. She said she was sure and we did it. Didn’t go so well. The next day we were cuddling again and I felt her moving her ass toward me like when she got horny and I again asked her if she was ok and I wanted to wait. She said it was fine as long as she initiates and I also got horny and we started. After she came from grinding I was still horny and asked for sex and she said no. I asked why and she broke down. I know I shouldn’t have asked why but I did because I thought I did some wrong. While she was crying I let her be for like 2 or 3mins and asked her what I did wrong. She explained when she says no I shouldn’t ask her that and it makes her seem like was wrong. I said no because I wanted to know if she was ok. She went to therapy and later said she needed time alone. I ask her this morning if was feeling okay or better and said no. I asked her if I may know what was wrong. She said her therapist said I make everything about myself because I started blaming myself instead of talking to her. I did talk to her and asked her if she was fine and told her I was sorry. She then got mad again and said not to make everything about myself. Am I the asshole for not seeing about making everything about myself ? And how did I do that