My FWB just disclosed to me that he was sexually abused when he was younger and that some things I do trigger him. /u/One_Independence_906 Sex

I (22F) have been hooking up with my long-time friend (26M) on and off for a few years (almost 3). We are super close, and I thoroughly enjoy our friendship.

Last month, we met up, swapped Christmas gifts, and had sex. When we were getting a little intimate (more than normal). He was kissing my chest. I held his face, and he snapped at me to not touch his face. I was a little taken aback. He had never gotten like that before, I’ve caressed his face before, or touched it when we’ve kissed but he’s never ever been like that. He apologized, and we continued, had sex etc.

When we were done we did some aftercare, showered a bit then ordered food. Food got delivered, and we sat down to eat. He seemed off and apologized to me for snapping at me. I said it was okay, but asked if I did something wrong. He mentioned that some things I do trigger him. I pressed a bit further, and he ended up telling me he was sexually abused by his much older (female if that matters) cousin, and she used to touch his face a lot.

As someone that was sexually abused as well, the information hit me like a truck. My mind went into overdrive and I thought about the things I might’ve done that could’ve triggered him. I felt horrible, and I still feel horrible now. It’s been a month and we’ve seen each other since then, but we haven’t had sex as I am extremely nervous about doing something wrong, so we just cuddle.

I have no idea what to do. He’s my best friend, and I care about him a lot. I can’t compare my experiences with his as I dealt with my trauma in a really bad way and recuperated from it a while ago, not everyone is the same, are there any suggestions?

I (22F) have been hooking up with my long-time friend (26M) on and off for a few years (almost 3). We are super close, and I thoroughly enjoy our friendship.

Last month, we met up, swapped Christmas gifts, and had sex. When we were getting a little intimate (more than normal). He was kissing my chest. I held his face, and he snapped at me to not touch his face. I was a little taken aback. He had never gotten like that before, I’ve caressed his face before, or touched it when we’ve kissed but he’s never ever been like that. He apologized, and we continued, had sex etc.

When we were done we did some aftercare, showered a bit then ordered food. Food got delivered, and we sat down to eat. He seemed off and apologized to me for snapping at me. I said it was okay, but asked if I did something wrong. He mentioned that some things I do trigger him. I pressed a bit further, and he ended up telling me he was sexually abused by his much older (female if that matters) cousin, and she used to touch his face a lot.

As someone that was sexually abused as well, the information hit me like a truck. My mind went into overdrive and I thought about the things I might’ve done that could’ve triggered him. I felt horrible, and I still feel horrible now. It’s been a month and we’ve seen each other since then, but we haven’t had sex as I am extremely nervous about doing something wrong, so we just cuddle.

I have no idea what to do. He’s my best friend, and I care about him a lot. I can’t compare my experiences with his as I dealt with my trauma in a really bad way and recuperated from it a while ago, not everyone is the same, are there any suggestions?