Is it my fault for losing weight, or is my wife too sexy? /u/LunarGiantNeil Sex

I wanted a provocative title, but it’s actually accurate to the problem. I’m being a bit cheeky about it even though she’s annoyed at me, and I apologize, but I am doing my best to address the issue now that it’s clearly not going away. I’m also looking for advice on lasting longer, despite my wife’s attempts to make that impossible. I need to do some background first:

I come from the kink community (was a Dom) but my wife is an unrepentant prude, and that’s totally okay with me, as I love her to bits and she is a wonderful sexual partner. She doesn’t like foreplay or oral, let alone anything wild, but she is able to get off purely from penetration and I fit her just right, so from a romantic feels angle it works out great when we get off at the same time.

We also have a kid, so there’s occasionally big gaps between sessions, and she doesn’t like me to do any kind of self pleasure so eventually we both get a bit wound up and just have to find some time.

Recently I’ve hit my weight loss goal of 40 pounds in total, so she thinks I look pretty good. She’s been turned on a lot recently, and this is where the problem started.

So a few weeks back we had to make some time. It had been a long, long time due to the kid and us being sick. Everything was pretty normal ‘blow off steam’ sex that day, but just as she starts hitting her spot she swerves into some real spicy domination play that blindsides me right in my juiciest unspoken fantasies about her. On top of that, I’m a breast guy, and my wife is stacked, but she’s not been interested in having them touched in the slightest since having our kid. That’s years ago! Right then though? She really wanted it, wow. It was like all my dreams came true at once.

I did not last long, I think you can imagine. It had been a while, and then she did that… so I finished her off with my hand while we spooned. We’ve done that before and she seemed content. I was buzzing for days afterward.

That was mostly a one-off, but things are still different and she went all subby again last time, and it threw me for a loop again. It’s been great, but yesterday she told me she thinks it’s a problem that I’m not lasting until she gets off and does not agree that it has anything to do with her sexiness. She thinks it feels too good since I’ve lost weight and we need to find some ways to make it less pleasurable so I can outlast her again. She suggested finding uncomfortable condoms as a solution.

I’m flabbergasted by this, and I think it’s the funniest kind of argument to have, but it seems serious to her so I want to take it seriously too. And ideally come up with an alternative, or just over-perform next time.

But I just have to know, is it my fault for losing weight and making sex too good, or is it her fault for being too sexy and making it too hard for me to focus on bringing her to completion?

Also, any advice on lasting extra long? I can’t mess this next one up, or she’ll be certain that some drastic measures are necessary.

Either way, I plan to steel myself for combat next time, and not to listen to the siren song of my wife until she gets off. It’ll be a serious challenge, I shit you not, but I’m hoping some ‘low and slow’ will work to help me outpace her.

I wanted a provocative title, but it’s actually accurate to the problem. I’m being a bit cheeky about it even though she’s annoyed at me, and I apologize, but I am doing my best to address the issue now that it’s clearly not going away. I’m also looking for advice on lasting longer, despite my wife’s attempts to make that impossible. I need to do some background first:

I come from the kink community (was a Dom) but my wife is an unrepentant prude, and that’s totally okay with me, as I love her to bits and she is a wonderful sexual partner. She doesn’t like foreplay or oral, let alone anything wild, but she is able to get off purely from penetration and I fit her just right, so from a romantic feels angle it works out great when we get off at the same time.

We also have a kid, so there’s occasionally big gaps between sessions, and she doesn’t like me to do any kind of self pleasure so eventually we both get a bit wound up and just have to find some time.

Recently I’ve hit my weight loss goal of 40 pounds in total, so she thinks I look pretty good. She’s been turned on a lot recently, and this is where the problem started.

So a few weeks back we had to make some time. It had been a long, long time due to the kid and us being sick. Everything was pretty normal ‘blow off steam’ sex that day, but just as she starts hitting her spot she swerves into some real spicy domination play that blindsides me right in my juiciest unspoken fantasies about her. On top of that, I’m a breast guy, and my wife is stacked, but she’s not been interested in having them touched in the slightest since having our kid. That’s years ago! Right then though? She really wanted it, wow. It was like all my dreams came true at once.

I did not last long, I think you can imagine. It had been a while, and then she did that… so I finished her off with my hand while we spooned. We’ve done that before and she seemed content. I was buzzing for days afterward.

That was mostly a one-off, but things are still different and she went all subby again last time, and it threw me for a loop again. It’s been great, but yesterday she told me she thinks it’s a problem that I’m not lasting until she gets off and does not agree that it has anything to do with her sexiness. She thinks it feels too good since I’ve lost weight and we need to find some ways to make it less pleasurable so I can outlast her again. She suggested finding uncomfortable condoms as a solution.

I’m flabbergasted by this, and I think it’s the funniest kind of argument to have, but it seems serious to her so I want to take it seriously too. And ideally come up with an alternative, or just over-perform next time.

But I just have to know, is it my fault for losing weight and making sex too good, or is it her fault for being too sexy and making it too hard for me to focus on bringing her to completion?

Also, any advice on lasting extra long? I can’t mess this next one up, or she’ll be certain that some drastic measures are necessary.

Either way, I plan to steel myself for combat next time, and not to listen to the siren song of my wife until she gets off. It’ll be a serious challenge, I shit you not, but I’m hoping some ‘low and slow’ will work to help me outpace her.