I’m 24 and male and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve liked many girls, but not many have really liked me. I’m also on the autism spectrum and being anti-social and rejected numerous times has made it hard to try much anymore.
I also have hormonal desires, and no one I know really believes in sex before marriage, so acting on said desires isn’t realistic. Even if it was, I don’t want to risk pregnancy right now. Masturbating kind of helps, but barely. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of it. It’s not a “sin” thing, (even though I am religious), I just don’t care for it after a couple minutes.
About 4 years ago, I became bi-curious and I started fantasizing about having oral and anal sex with a same-sex friend that’s 2 years older than me, also on the spectrum. At the time, we would have sleepovers and hang outs.
When we had our sleepovers, we would always get into our pajamas together. We’d take off our day clothes down to our underwear and put our PJs on. When I would have my fantasies, I’d imagine telling him then about my desires and asking if I could blow him until he came into my mouth and give him anal sex.
Then I’d picture him agreeing and me doing so until the next morning. (I would have been content with just blowing him, and he wouldn’t have to do the same to me if he didn’t want.)
Well, I researched how anal sex works and discovered it had health risks, so I had second thoughts. I also wasn’t sure how he’d react to basically “can I put my penis inside you?” so I dropped the idea and decided to just ask if we could play “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
From my first thought to finally asking, it took 2 years. I live with my Grandma, and we moved to a new house in 2020. That December, we changed into pajamas and I slowly asked if we could play that. He agreed, and we showed each other our penises.
We looked at them, and I asked if I could feel his. He wasn’t comfortable with that, so I said never mind, and we pulled our pants back up.
To summarize the rest, it was awkward and we agreed to never talk about it again. We went to bed, and the next day we couldn’t look at each other and we barely spoke. We made up a few days later, but we didn’t talk again until after Easter.
The day after the incident, I e-mailed my Pastor about my guilt. He told me that if we stayed in contact our friendship should be fine. He also told me to let go of the guilt since I had been praying for forgiveness, and he was glad to hear that I knew I was straight due to this. (I mentioned that too.)
***
Despite this, I still have sexual thoughts about my friend every now and then. Sometimes it’s oral and anal, sometimes it’s what we did before.
Lately I’ve pictured us playing truth or dare, and my dares include us playing the rest of the game naked, giving him oral, and my friend letting me sit on him while I tickle him for a couple of minutes.
I also have another friend who has a hot tub in his bathroom, and I think about asking if we can use it together naked. With this friend, my thoughts don’t go much further than that.
I don’t get it- because I had guilt over doing gay stuff before, and I DO crush on girls. I wouldn’t say I have a crush on my male friends, and all my actual crushes are girls. I would rather date and marry a female, but I have these bi-curious thoughts. Is this normal, and what do I do about this?
Any serious advice would be appreciated.
submitted by /u/zsiple1998
[link] [comments]
r/sex I’m 24 and male and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve liked many girls, but not many have really liked me. I’m also on the autism spectrum and being anti-social and rejected numerous times has made it hard to try much anymore. I also have hormonal desires, and no one I know really believes in sex before marriage, so acting on said desires isn’t realistic. Even if it was, I don’t want to risk pregnancy right now. Masturbating kind of helps, but barely. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of it. It’s not a “sin” thing, (even though I am religious), I just don’t care for it after a couple minutes. About 4 years ago, I became bi-curious and I started fantasizing about having oral and anal sex with a same-sex friend that’s 2 years older than me, also on the spectrum. At the time, we would have sleepovers and hang outs. When we had our sleepovers, we would always get into our pajamas together. We’d take off our day clothes down to our underwear and put our PJs on. When I would have my fantasies, I’d imagine telling him then about my desires and asking if I could blow him until he came into my mouth and give him anal sex. Then I’d picture him agreeing and me doing so until the next morning. (I would have been content with just blowing him, and he wouldn’t have to do the same to me if he didn’t want.) Well, I researched how anal sex works and discovered it had health risks, so I had second thoughts. I also wasn’t sure how he’d react to basically “can I put my penis inside you?” so I dropped the idea and decided to just ask if we could play “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” From my first thought to finally asking, it took 2 years. I live with my Grandma, and we moved to a new house in 2020. That December, we changed into pajamas and I slowly asked if we could play that. He agreed, and we showed each other our penises. We looked at them, and I asked if I could feel his. He wasn’t comfortable with that, so I said never mind, and we pulled our pants back up. To summarize the rest, it was awkward and we agreed to never talk about it again. We went to bed, and the next day we couldn’t look at each other and we barely spoke. We made up a few days later, but we didn’t talk again until after Easter. The day after the incident, I e-mailed my Pastor about my guilt. He told me that if we stayed in contact our friendship should be fine. He also told me to let go of the guilt since I had been praying for forgiveness, and he was glad to hear that I knew I was straight due to this. (I mentioned that too.) *** Despite this, I still have sexual thoughts about my friend every now and then. Sometimes it’s oral and anal, sometimes it’s what we did before. Lately I’ve pictured us playing truth or dare, and my dares include us playing the rest of the game naked, giving him oral, and my friend letting me sit on him while I tickle him for a couple of minutes. I also have another friend who has a hot tub in his bathroom, and I think about asking if we can use it together naked. With this friend, my thoughts don’t go much further than that. I don’t get it- because I had guilt over doing gay stuff before, and I DO crush on girls. I wouldn’t say I have a crush on my male friends, and all my actual crushes are girls. I would rather date and marry a female, but I have these bi-curious thoughts. Is this normal, and what do I do about this? Any serious advice would be appreciated. submitted by /u/zsiple1998 [link] [comments]
I’m 24 and male and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve liked many girls, but not many have really liked me. I’m also on the autism spectrum and being anti-social and rejected numerous times has made it hard to try much anymore.
I also have hormonal desires, and no one I know really believes in sex before marriage, so acting on said desires isn’t realistic. Even if it was, I don’t want to risk pregnancy right now. Masturbating kind of helps, but barely. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of it. It’s not a “sin” thing, (even though I am religious), I just don’t care for it after a couple minutes.
About 4 years ago, I became bi-curious and I started fantasizing about having oral and anal sex with a same-sex friend that’s 2 years older than me, also on the spectrum. At the time, we would have sleepovers and hang outs.
When we had our sleepovers, we would always get into our pajamas together. We’d take off our day clothes down to our underwear and put our PJs on. When I would have my fantasies, I’d imagine telling him then about my desires and asking if I could blow him until he came into my mouth and give him anal sex.
Then I’d picture him agreeing and me doing so until the next morning. (I would have been content with just blowing him, and he wouldn’t have to do the same to me if he didn’t want.)
Well, I researched how anal sex works and discovered it had health risks, so I had second thoughts. I also wasn’t sure how he’d react to basically “can I put my penis inside you?” so I dropped the idea and decided to just ask if we could play “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
From my first thought to finally asking, it took 2 years. I live with my Grandma, and we moved to a new house in 2020. That December, we changed into pajamas and I slowly asked if we could play that. He agreed, and we showed each other our penises.
We looked at them, and I asked if I could feel his. He wasn’t comfortable with that, so I said never mind, and we pulled our pants back up.
To summarize the rest, it was awkward and we agreed to never talk about it again. We went to bed, and the next day we couldn’t look at each other and we barely spoke. We made up a few days later, but we didn’t talk again until after Easter.
The day after the incident, I e-mailed my Pastor about my guilt. He told me that if we stayed in contact our friendship should be fine. He also told me to let go of the guilt since I had been praying for forgiveness, and he was glad to hear that I knew I was straight due to this. (I mentioned that too.)
***
Despite this, I still have sexual thoughts about my friend every now and then. Sometimes it’s oral and anal, sometimes it’s what we did before.
Lately I’ve pictured us playing truth or dare, and my dares include us playing the rest of the game naked, giving him oral, and my friend letting me sit on him while I tickle him for a couple of minutes.
I also have another friend who has a hot tub in his bathroom, and I think about asking if we can use it together naked. With this friend, my thoughts don’t go much further than that.
I don’t get it- because I had guilt over doing gay stuff before, and I DO crush on girls. I wouldn’t say I have a crush on my male friends, and all my actual crushes are girls. I would rather date and marry a female, but I have these bi-curious thoughts. Is this normal, and what do I do about this?
Any serious advice would be appreciated.
submitted by /u/zsiple1998
[link] [comments]