How do you be seductive when you’re stressed/busy/tired all the time? /u/InCaseOfBanAgain Sex

BACKGROUND, SKIP AHEAD IF DESIRED

So quick background, I (27F) am married and have a husband (27M). We are great, very happy, and have regular sex. He does have a higher libido than me and I try to be conscious of that but it’s not like we’re never having sex, it’s regular, just less frequent. However, he’s been bringing up that sex hasn’t been the best the past few years, or since we’ve been living alone after graduating and being full fledged “adults” for lack of a better term.

He says I don’t seduce him, when I want sex or something I ask him if he’s down and we go do it. Bing bang boom, orgasm, easy, done! Wonderful times had by all. But now he’s bringing up that it isn’t something he likes, he wants “seduction” from me rather than just a quick question.

Now I get the idea, he wants to see me want it, he wants to see what id do to get it because if he says no when I ask, that’s the end of it! No sex, got it. And according to him, that makes him feel like I don’t want sex because if I wanted sex, there would be something behind the question. I am disappointed when he says no, but I don’t get upset because I know sex will happen again and I don’t want to hurt his feelings by trying to guilt him into sex through some BS of “cmooooonnn pleeeeeease????” Or some such.

END OF BACKGROUND INFO

So he’d rather see the interest on the front side of the question but I have no idea how to do that especially since I’m very busy during the day, use the afternoon to relax, and once I get in the mood around bedtime, there’s no time to seduce!

Back in highschool and college, you’re constantly running around avoiding parents/roommates so seduction isn’t a thing (at least to me). But now it should be a thing! I agree with him that I’m not the most seductive person, and frankly it’s probably because I know he wants sex more so what’s the point in putting in effort if I know he wants it? But I also understand that’s an unhealthy way of looking at it and want to address that.

So how do I do that throughout the day? As an adult, I’m not thinking about sex at my job, I’m thinking about my job. So I don’t want to send a naughty text and then come home and leave him blueballed or whatever. But when I get home, I’m tired and want to relax. Pop an edible, chill, and decompress, so even if I tried to seduce him then, again, I don’t want to leave him hanging if the mood doesn’t strike me later. Then when that’s over it’s around bedtime! That’s the time I feel good enough to have sex if I’m in the mood so if I tried seducing him then, it’d be way too late and so I just ask to fuck!

What am I doing that I can change to fix this?

TL;DR: I don’t want to blue ball my husband by not having sex with him after seducing him all day because I don’t know if I’ll want to have sex until it’s time for bed.

BACKGROUND, SKIP AHEAD IF DESIRED

So quick background, I (27F) am married and have a husband (27M). We are great, very happy, and have regular sex. He does have a higher libido than me and I try to be conscious of that but it’s not like we’re never having sex, it’s regular, just less frequent. However, he’s been bringing up that sex hasn’t been the best the past few years, or since we’ve been living alone after graduating and being full fledged “adults” for lack of a better term.

He says I don’t seduce him, when I want sex or something I ask him if he’s down and we go do it. Bing bang boom, orgasm, easy, done! Wonderful times had by all. But now he’s bringing up that it isn’t something he likes, he wants “seduction” from me rather than just a quick question.

Now I get the idea, he wants to see me want it, he wants to see what id do to get it because if he says no when I ask, that’s the end of it! No sex, got it. And according to him, that makes him feel like I don’t want sex because if I wanted sex, there would be something behind the question. I am disappointed when he says no, but I don’t get upset because I know sex will happen again and I don’t want to hurt his feelings by trying to guilt him into sex through some BS of “cmooooonnn pleeeeeease????” Or some such.

END OF BACKGROUND INFO

So he’d rather see the interest on the front side of the question but I have no idea how to do that especially since I’m very busy during the day, use the afternoon to relax, and once I get in the mood around bedtime, there’s no time to seduce!

Back in highschool and college, you’re constantly running around avoiding parents/roommates so seduction isn’t a thing (at least to me). But now it should be a thing! I agree with him that I’m not the most seductive person, and frankly it’s probably because I know he wants sex more so what’s the point in putting in effort if I know he wants it? But I also understand that’s an unhealthy way of looking at it and want to address that.

So how do I do that throughout the day? As an adult, I’m not thinking about sex at my job, I’m thinking about my job. So I don’t want to send a naughty text and then come home and leave him blueballed or whatever. But when I get home, I’m tired and want to relax. Pop an edible, chill, and decompress, so even if I tried to seduce him then, again, I don’t want to leave him hanging if the mood doesn’t strike me later. Then when that’s over it’s around bedtime! That’s the time I feel good enough to have sex if I’m in the mood so if I tried seducing him then, it’d be way too late and so I just ask to fuck!

What am I doing that I can change to fix this?

TL;DR: I don’t want to blue ball my husband by not having sex with him after seducing him all day because I don’t know if I’ll want to have sex until it’s time for bed.