I’ll try to keep this as short as possible but I really need a place to vent. Literally 10 minutes ago I left my boyfriend’s house in which I lived in for the past year and a half. I love him so much. I’ve never cared this much about a person. All I think about is him and what I could do for him to make his day better/easier. He’s my first everything and I really wanted to have his kids and marry him. I literally fantasized about our future everyday. My whole life revolved around him for the past 1.5 years. He is everything I want and yet I can’t stay.
The list of things he did (repeatedly) that hurt me is too long, but I’ll point out what I just can’t get over. The fact that he yells and sometimes hits stuff around me when he’s angry. I know he has anger issues and sometimes he is able to hold it in. But statistically people like this get more violent as they get older and he may eventually hit me. I know that he doesn’t want to hit me but like I said he just can’t control his anger. He messaged other girls during the entire relationship. Flirted and sent them nudes. Asked multiple girls for casual sex and said he’s happy with me but isn’t done with having fun (this in praticular was 6 months ago). I don’t know if he actually cheated but even if he didn’t it’s because the girls curved him not because he didn’t want to.
Today I found out he messaged one of my mom’s sister’s friends. I’ve never felt more angry and embarassed in my life. I immedietly knew it was over, I mean if it was other way around he would not let that slide..
The third problem and the biggest one was the sex. It was so terrible but I still didn’t mind because I just loved the fact that I was having sex with him. Tehnically, it’s my fault that it was bad because I just didn’t do anything ever. I didn’t initiate. I didin’t talk. Nothing. But I was really so insecure in myself especially because I was a virgin before him and my first sexual partner made it clear from the very beginning that he is more attracted to literally anyone else but me. It killed my libido so badly and I never got it back. And then I felt even worse because I knew he was unsatisfied. It was a unbreakable cycle. I’m actually a really sxual person I just couldn’t express it and I kinda regret now that I didn’t at least try. But I really wanted to have healthy and good sex with him. I genuenly never tought about anyone else… Also I have to mention he had sex with me a couple of times after I clearly said no, more than once. This was a long time ago. It was honestly so disrespectful.
He cried and said he is really trying to change, begged me to stay. Told me he loves me. I feel really guilty for leaving him even tho i will never know if he was pretending to be hurt. We already broke up once and he was quick to ask girls to dates .( as in date i mean eat somewhere and then fuck). I did see some improvement latetly in his behaviour but for soke reason i just got sadder and sadder. He is EVERYTHING I wanted. But he has to try hard not to cheat on me. It hurts. I’m young and I’m scared of someone just settling for me.
I just want to know other peoples opinions, should I give him benefit of the doubt while I still can reverse this break up. This was the last thing I wanted to do, but I really felt trapped in my own insecurities and doubt it was eating me alive. I just want to be at peace. Right now I feel like someone stabbed me in my heart and twisted the knife. I really want to be with him. I had so much planned for us. I feel like I havent done enough for him. I wanted to make him happy but I guess I failed. And I wanted a family with him so badly. I just need advice. And I hope he felt loved at least a little bit, Iusually hold of my love when im hurt, but I would really do anything for him (well except let him cheat on me for the rest of my life😂). Is there any hope our chance for him to really change this time? Is it worth risking to end up even more hurt?
TL;DR Bf used to be agressive with me and cheat on me online (as far as I know) and I can’t get over it.
submitted by /u/kfffkkrj
[link] [comments]
r/sex I’ll try to keep this as short as possible but I really need a place to vent. Literally 10 minutes ago I left my boyfriend’s house in which I lived in for the past year and a half. I love him so much. I’ve never cared this much about a person. All I think about is him and what I could do for him to make his day better/easier. He’s my first everything and I really wanted to have his kids and marry him. I literally fantasized about our future everyday. My whole life revolved around him for the past 1.5 years. He is everything I want and yet I can’t stay. The list of things he did (repeatedly) that hurt me is too long, but I’ll point out what I just can’t get over. The fact that he yells and sometimes hits stuff around me when he’s angry. I know he has anger issues and sometimes he is able to hold it in. But statistically people like this get more violent as they get older and he may eventually hit me. I know that he doesn’t want to hit me but like I said he just can’t control his anger. He messaged other girls during the entire relationship. Flirted and sent them nudes. Asked multiple girls for casual sex and said he’s happy with me but isn’t done with having fun (this in praticular was 6 months ago). I don’t know if he actually cheated but even if he didn’t it’s because the girls curved him not because he didn’t want to. Today I found out he messaged one of my mom’s sister’s friends. I’ve never felt more angry and embarassed in my life. I immedietly knew it was over, I mean if it was other way around he would not let that slide.. The third problem and the biggest one was the sex. It was so terrible but I still didn’t mind because I just loved the fact that I was having sex with him. Tehnically, it’s my fault that it was bad because I just didn’t do anything ever. I didn’t initiate. I didin’t talk. Nothing. But I was really so insecure in myself especially because I was a virgin before him and my first sexual partner made it clear from the very beginning that he is more attracted to literally anyone else but me. It killed my libido so badly and I never got it back. And then I felt even worse because I knew he was unsatisfied. It was a unbreakable cycle. I’m actually a really sxual person I just couldn’t express it and I kinda regret now that I didn’t at least try. But I really wanted to have healthy and good sex with him. I genuenly never tought about anyone else… Also I have to mention he had sex with me a couple of times after I clearly said no, more than once. This was a long time ago. It was honestly so disrespectful. He cried and said he is really trying to change, begged me to stay. Told me he loves me. I feel really guilty for leaving him even tho i will never know if he was pretending to be hurt. We already broke up once and he was quick to ask girls to dates .( as in date i mean eat somewhere and then fuck). I did see some improvement latetly in his behaviour but for soke reason i just got sadder and sadder. He is EVERYTHING I wanted. But he has to try hard not to cheat on me. It hurts. I’m young and I’m scared of someone just settling for me. I just want to know other peoples opinions, should I give him benefit of the doubt while I still can reverse this break up. This was the last thing I wanted to do, but I really felt trapped in my own insecurities and doubt it was eating me alive. I just want to be at peace. Right now I feel like someone stabbed me in my heart and twisted the knife. I really want to be with him. I had so much planned for us. I feel like I havent done enough for him. I wanted to make him happy but I guess I failed. And I wanted a family with him so badly. I just need advice. And I hope he felt loved at least a little bit, Iusually hold of my love when im hurt, but I would really do anything for him (well except let him cheat on me for the rest of my life😂). Is there any hope our chance for him to really change this time? Is it worth risking to end up even more hurt? TL;DR Bf used to be agressive with me and cheat on me online (as far as I know) and I can’t get over it. submitted by /u/kfffkkrj [link] [comments]
I’ll try to keep this as short as possible but I really need a place to vent. Literally 10 minutes ago I left my boyfriend’s house in which I lived in for the past year and a half. I love him so much. I’ve never cared this much about a person. All I think about is him and what I could do for him to make his day better/easier. He’s my first everything and I really wanted to have his kids and marry him. I literally fantasized about our future everyday. My whole life revolved around him for the past 1.5 years. He is everything I want and yet I can’t stay.
The list of things he did (repeatedly) that hurt me is too long, but I’ll point out what I just can’t get over. The fact that he yells and sometimes hits stuff around me when he’s angry. I know he has anger issues and sometimes he is able to hold it in. But statistically people like this get more violent as they get older and he may eventually hit me. I know that he doesn’t want to hit me but like I said he just can’t control his anger. He messaged other girls during the entire relationship. Flirted and sent them nudes. Asked multiple girls for casual sex and said he’s happy with me but isn’t done with having fun (this in praticular was 6 months ago). I don’t know if he actually cheated but even if he didn’t it’s because the girls curved him not because he didn’t want to.
Today I found out he messaged one of my mom’s sister’s friends. I’ve never felt more angry and embarassed in my life. I immedietly knew it was over, I mean if it was other way around he would not let that slide..
The third problem and the biggest one was the sex. It was so terrible but I still didn’t mind because I just loved the fact that I was having sex with him. Tehnically, it’s my fault that it was bad because I just didn’t do anything ever. I didn’t initiate. I didin’t talk. Nothing. But I was really so insecure in myself especially because I was a virgin before him and my first sexual partner made it clear from the very beginning that he is more attracted to literally anyone else but me. It killed my libido so badly and I never got it back. And then I felt even worse because I knew he was unsatisfied. It was a unbreakable cycle. I’m actually a really sxual person I just couldn’t express it and I kinda regret now that I didn’t at least try. But I really wanted to have healthy and good sex with him. I genuenly never tought about anyone else… Also I have to mention he had sex with me a couple of times after I clearly said no, more than once. This was a long time ago. It was honestly so disrespectful.
He cried and said he is really trying to change, begged me to stay. Told me he loves me. I feel really guilty for leaving him even tho i will never know if he was pretending to be hurt. We already broke up once and he was quick to ask girls to dates .( as in date i mean eat somewhere and then fuck). I did see some improvement latetly in his behaviour but for soke reason i just got sadder and sadder. He is EVERYTHING I wanted. But he has to try hard not to cheat on me. It hurts. I’m young and I’m scared of someone just settling for me.
I just want to know other peoples opinions, should I give him benefit of the doubt while I still can reverse this break up. This was the last thing I wanted to do, but I really felt trapped in my own insecurities and doubt it was eating me alive. I just want to be at peace. Right now I feel like someone stabbed me in my heart and twisted the knife. I really want to be with him. I had so much planned for us. I feel like I havent done enough for him. I wanted to make him happy but I guess I failed. And I wanted a family with him so badly. I just need advice. And I hope he felt loved at least a little bit, Iusually hold of my love when im hurt, but I would really do anything for him (well except let him cheat on me for the rest of my life😂). Is there any hope our chance for him to really change this time? Is it worth risking to end up even more hurt?
TL;DR Bf used to be agressive with me and cheat on me online (as far as I know) and I can’t get over it.
submitted by /u/kfffkkrj
[link] [comments]