Boyfriend is horny but we don’t have sex /u/Consistent-Cat8690 Sex

I (30f) have been dating a guy 39(m) for a little over a month. In past relationships I found myself less attracted to the guys I date while they were always horny and initiating sex. Taking birth control has also caused me to have a lower sex drive.

Fast forward after 4 years of being single, mostly by choice while I work on myself and also logistics of dating during the pandemic, I was finally happy to meet a sweet guy who I find very attractive. I’ve had no problem getting turned on by him.

The first week of going out we had sex every night, sometimes 2-3 times a day, though I did notice a few times even when I tried to initiate, and he was hard and seemed into it, he would simply fall asleep or just not continue.

I’ve noticed this pattern for example when he wakes up and has an erection, sometimes he will get up and start his day (he usually wakes up before me and lets me sleep awhile longer since I have trouble falling and staying asleep) but he will grind on me, kiss and touch me and I reciprocate to let him know I want to have sex, then he simply gets up and we don’t do anything. Which is so strange to me having dater younger guys or closer to my age I know the concept of blue balls very well and how some guys just have to do something when they have an erection so I’m having a hard time understanding why he is this way.

I have to admit though it makes me feel a little insecure like maybe he’s just not that attracted to me, even though he touches and kisses me all the time and tells me he’s horny for me (but then proceeds to do nothing about it even when I’m clear about being into it?!)

I noticed that if we smoke weed it makes me extra horny while he does not seem into having sex at all so I don’t try and push it on him during that time, he usually smokes by himself and I join on occasion but yestarday we were smoking together and while we were smoking he started kissing and touching me and telling me how turned on he was, we went to bed and he was pretty rough, pulling my hair and holding me down (I have to say he’s super respectful and always asking if I’m ok and will stop immediately if anything js uncomfertablel). I usually enjoy a bit of roughness but the fact that he all of a sudden is acting like this made me think maybe he took viagra or something to arouse him, which it turn made me go in my head and I got turned off and asked to stop pretty quick.

Is there any particular reason for this behaviour? Is it that he’s older than me? Or is he just not into me and I will only get sex on his terms when he’s feeling horny for whatever reason? I am so confused@

I (30f) have been dating a guy 39(m) for a little over a month. In past relationships I found myself less attracted to the guys I date while they were always horny and initiating sex. Taking birth control has also caused me to have a lower sex drive.

Fast forward after 4 years of being single, mostly by choice while I work on myself and also logistics of dating during the pandemic, I was finally happy to meet a sweet guy who I find very attractive. I’ve had no problem getting turned on by him.

The first week of going out we had sex every night, sometimes 2-3 times a day, though I did notice a few times even when I tried to initiate, and he was hard and seemed into it, he would simply fall asleep or just not continue.

I’ve noticed this pattern for example when he wakes up and has an erection, sometimes he will get up and start his day (he usually wakes up before me and lets me sleep awhile longer since I have trouble falling and staying asleep) but he will grind on me, kiss and touch me and I reciprocate to let him know I want to have sex, then he simply gets up and we don’t do anything. Which is so strange to me having dater younger guys or closer to my age I know the concept of blue balls very well and how some guys just have to do something when they have an erection so I’m having a hard time understanding why he is this way.

I have to admit though it makes me feel a little insecure like maybe he’s just not that attracted to me, even though he touches and kisses me all the time and tells me he’s horny for me (but then proceeds to do nothing about it even when I’m clear about being into it?!)

I noticed that if we smoke weed it makes me extra horny while he does not seem into having sex at all so I don’t try and push it on him during that time, he usually smokes by himself and I join on occasion but yestarday we were smoking together and while we were smoking he started kissing and touching me and telling me how turned on he was, we went to bed and he was pretty rough, pulling my hair and holding me down (I have to say he’s super respectful and always asking if I’m ok and will stop immediately if anything js uncomfertablel). I usually enjoy a bit of roughness but the fact that he all of a sudden is acting like this made me think maybe he took viagra or something to arouse him, which it turn made me go in my head and I got turned off and asked to stop pretty quick.

Is there any particular reason for this behaviour? Is it that he’s older than me? Or is he just not into me and I will only get sex on his terms when he’s feeling horny for whatever reason? I am so confused@