Difficulty orgasming without porn? /u/seymour_asscheeks Sex

Hello!

Might seem like an odd question, but this seemed to be the right place to ask for advice. I’ve (32F) been sexually active since I was 19, and involved with pornography and masturbation since I was 9 or so.

I experience extreme difficulty getting off within the visual aspect of porn, and if/ even when all of the acts that turn me on in the videos are being done to me, it always seems to pale in comparison to the pleasure I feel from watching the video. I get super worked up and cum really hard and fast from porn, but it could take several minutes to a couple hours at the longest to reach that same peak and it’s never as good. I’ve also realized that I’ll sort of detach myself during sex and over focus on trying to finish or get my mind into the mindset of finishing, that I feel as though it subtracts from my enjoyment and my partners since at times my frustration becomes visible.

I’ve never had a penetrative orgasm though I am consistently able to get “close” but never “over the edge”, and only recently have I been able to orgasm from manual stimulation with a partner. Is there anything I can do to do address my mindset and perspective on sex so I can actually be present in the moment and enjoy myself rather than living in the constant fantasy of porn and never feeling able to connect with my pleasure in the moment with another person?

Hello!

Might seem like an odd question, but this seemed to be the right place to ask for advice. I’ve (32F) been sexually active since I was 19, and involved with pornography and masturbation since I was 9 or so.

I experience extreme difficulty getting off within the visual aspect of porn, and if/ even when all of the acts that turn me on in the videos are being done to me, it always seems to pale in comparison to the pleasure I feel from watching the video. I get super worked up and cum really hard and fast from porn, but it could take several minutes to a couple hours at the longest to reach that same peak and it’s never as good. I’ve also realized that I’ll sort of detach myself during sex and over focus on trying to finish or get my mind into the mindset of finishing, that I feel as though it subtracts from my enjoyment and my partners since at times my frustration becomes visible.

I’ve never had a penetrative orgasm though I am consistently able to get “close” but never “over the edge”, and only recently have I been able to orgasm from manual stimulation with a partner. Is there anything I can do to do address my mindset and perspective on sex so I can actually be present in the moment and enjoy myself rather than living in the constant fantasy of porn and never feeling able to connect with my pleasure in the moment with another person?