My boyfriend (21M) and I (24F) have been together for 1 year. We generally have a good relationship and plan our future together, but one thing that has always been a problem is our sex life.
It ebbs and flows, as most do, but the bad times feel pretty bad to me, and I don’t find the good times to last that long.
He has premature ejaculation, so he finds it hard to initiate sex as he feels embarrassment. He’s told me in the past that he’s scared I will leave him if he isn’t good.
His premature ejaculation is a problem on it’s own, but we have dealt with that a lot over the year and it’s something we both try to improve on. It is also something that I have kind of just accepted as a reality now. Sometimes he can last longer than other times, so it isn’t always bad, and I think there is still room for improvement, too.
The thing that bothers me the most is that he never initiates intimacy. And I know that it is because he is scared, so I really try to remind myself that it’s not because he doesn’t find me sexy, but then when it goes on for so long, it does start to bother me.
And I think that is because he both doesn’t initiate sex, but also doesn’t initiate touching me in general. I give him blowjobs most days, and he will return the favour if I do, but he doesn’t ever initiate it himself. Like, he never just spontaneously tries to make me cum.
I feel like maybe that is partially because he doesn’t see that he can just make me cum without it leading to sex, even though that is what happens when I give him a blowjob half the time. Sometimes I feel like maybe he’s a bit selfish in bed. I mean, when we first met, he barely ever made me cum. Before me, I don’t think he had much experience with sex that wasn’t just him fucking a girl for 30 seconds and then that’s it.
But, like I said, things like that have gotten better, and he’s definitely learned a lot about how to please a woman and things like that. It also used to bother me that he wasn’t very adventurous, but he has put in some effort to change that as well.
It’s just the lack of initiation that bothers me a lot still. Sometimes I see things online of other women saying how their man can’t keep his hands off of her or how he is always trying to initiate sex, and it just makes me feel really sad.
On the one hand, I love that he isn’t just some sex-obsessed guy and that he actually just loves spending time with me and doesn’t need sex to be happy with me. But then I’m also someone who likes it when a man is all over her and really shows that he finds me attractive and almost irresistible.
I mean, I find him irresistible. Sometimes I try not to initiate blowjobs as I find it sad that he doesn’t do it back, but I can’t help it because I just love doing it. So, it just sucks that he doesn’t have that same desire and I don’t know if it’ll ever change.
submitted by /u/hls52
[link] [comments]
r/sex My boyfriend (21M) and I (24F) have been together for 1 year. We generally have a good relationship and plan our future together, but one thing that has always been a problem is our sex life. It ebbs and flows, as most do, but the bad times feel pretty bad to me, and I don’t find the good times to last that long. He has premature ejaculation, so he finds it hard to initiate sex as he feels embarrassment. He’s told me in the past that he’s scared I will leave him if he isn’t good. His premature ejaculation is a problem on it’s own, but we have dealt with that a lot over the year and it’s something we both try to improve on. It is also something that I have kind of just accepted as a reality now. Sometimes he can last longer than other times, so it isn’t always bad, and I think there is still room for improvement, too. The thing that bothers me the most is that he never initiates intimacy. And I know that it is because he is scared, so I really try to remind myself that it’s not because he doesn’t find me sexy, but then when it goes on for so long, it does start to bother me. And I think that is because he both doesn’t initiate sex, but also doesn’t initiate touching me in general. I give him blowjobs most days, and he will return the favour if I do, but he doesn’t ever initiate it himself. Like, he never just spontaneously tries to make me cum. I feel like maybe that is partially because he doesn’t see that he can just make me cum without it leading to sex, even though that is what happens when I give him a blowjob half the time. Sometimes I feel like maybe he’s a bit selfish in bed. I mean, when we first met, he barely ever made me cum. Before me, I don’t think he had much experience with sex that wasn’t just him fucking a girl for 30 seconds and then that’s it. But, like I said, things like that have gotten better, and he’s definitely learned a lot about how to please a woman and things like that. It also used to bother me that he wasn’t very adventurous, but he has put in some effort to change that as well. It’s just the lack of initiation that bothers me a lot still. Sometimes I see things online of other women saying how their man can’t keep his hands off of her or how he is always trying to initiate sex, and it just makes me feel really sad. On the one hand, I love that he isn’t just some sex-obsessed guy and that he actually just loves spending time with me and doesn’t need sex to be happy with me. But then I’m also someone who likes it when a man is all over her and really shows that he finds me attractive and almost irresistible. I mean, I find him irresistible. Sometimes I try not to initiate blowjobs as I find it sad that he doesn’t do it back, but I can’t help it because I just love doing it. So, it just sucks that he doesn’t have that same desire and I don’t know if it’ll ever change. submitted by /u/hls52 [link] [comments]
My boyfriend (21M) and I (24F) have been together for 1 year. We generally have a good relationship and plan our future together, but one thing that has always been a problem is our sex life.
It ebbs and flows, as most do, but the bad times feel pretty bad to me, and I don’t find the good times to last that long.
He has premature ejaculation, so he finds it hard to initiate sex as he feels embarrassment. He’s told me in the past that he’s scared I will leave him if he isn’t good.
His premature ejaculation is a problem on it’s own, but we have dealt with that a lot over the year and it’s something we both try to improve on. It is also something that I have kind of just accepted as a reality now. Sometimes he can last longer than other times, so it isn’t always bad, and I think there is still room for improvement, too.
The thing that bothers me the most is that he never initiates intimacy. And I know that it is because he is scared, so I really try to remind myself that it’s not because he doesn’t find me sexy, but then when it goes on for so long, it does start to bother me.
And I think that is because he both doesn’t initiate sex, but also doesn’t initiate touching me in general. I give him blowjobs most days, and he will return the favour if I do, but he doesn’t ever initiate it himself. Like, he never just spontaneously tries to make me cum.
I feel like maybe that is partially because he doesn’t see that he can just make me cum without it leading to sex, even though that is what happens when I give him a blowjob half the time. Sometimes I feel like maybe he’s a bit selfish in bed. I mean, when we first met, he barely ever made me cum. Before me, I don’t think he had much experience with sex that wasn’t just him fucking a girl for 30 seconds and then that’s it.
But, like I said, things like that have gotten better, and he’s definitely learned a lot about how to please a woman and things like that. It also used to bother me that he wasn’t very adventurous, but he has put in some effort to change that as well.
It’s just the lack of initiation that bothers me a lot still. Sometimes I see things online of other women saying how their man can’t keep his hands off of her or how he is always trying to initiate sex, and it just makes me feel really sad.
On the one hand, I love that he isn’t just some sex-obsessed guy and that he actually just loves spending time with me and doesn’t need sex to be happy with me. But then I’m also someone who likes it when a man is all over her and really shows that he finds me attractive and almost irresistible.
I mean, I find him irresistible. Sometimes I try not to initiate blowjobs as I find it sad that he doesn’t do it back, but I can’t help it because I just love doing it. So, it just sucks that he doesn’t have that same desire and I don’t know if it’ll ever change.
submitted by /u/hls52
[link] [comments]