I don’t really know how to explain this, but I’m sure my context will be useful. Last year, I left a long term relationship and moved out. I didn’t enjoy the sex at all. There was no passion, no desire, and I felt uncomfortable. But when I would express my sexual needs, he would make me feel bad about it. I completely removed myself from my sexuality in 2020 after a conversation we had. I couldn’t masturbate anymore, I’d cry thinking about how I can’t have good sex, etc…. And then my brain just turned off and I have not gotten horny again up until…. Fairly recently. I left my ex over the summer, and I realized how absolutely disconnected I was from my sexuality after becoming involved with my new partner. And now I’m fucking horny. All the fucking time for this guy. All the time. Like as soon as I imagine him, I get wet. And I couldn’t get wet for years. I didn’t even know it was possible still. Anyways, we have been having SO much sex because I’m constantly horny for him. But, I don’t really know how to tell him that I think it has been kind of overwhelming? Even though I want to do it. It’s just a lot for me. You know? Like being touched in many ways and trying new positions and having intense sex, it really takes a toll on me. The flood of emotions and intimacy that I have been denied— and denied myself of for years was kinda just thrown onto me and I think I’m struggling a bit with it. It’s just very strong and powerful and overwhelming for me, and I think I want to have a conversation with them about how it’s a lot at once. I just don’t know how to explain it without him maybe thinking that it’s his fault and that I don’t enjoy it?Cause I do, so much so that it’s too much for me right now. And I feel bad for saying this too but it may actually be hurting our relationship as of right now but it’s hard to explain why. I am starting to associate him heavily with sex, when our relationship is NOT just sex but right now it feels like that and because I associate sex with being overwhelming and intense right now, it translates to me feeling overwhelmed by the relationship overall. Does this make sense? I am having trouble explaining this but it’s how my brain feels right now. I notice myself wishing for the sex to be shorter. Yet I don’t want it to end. I wished it lasted like 15-20 minutes and that was it. Cause after 15-20 minutes is when I start feeling that feeling of intensity and hidden anxiety. Like my brain says “alright… i have achieved everything I wanted from this experience. Let’s move on to doing something else, like talking or watching a movie.” But it keeps going and then my brain like shuts down and gets cloudy and then I begin to feel overwhelmed because the feelings are so intense and I don’t really know how to tell him that I’ve had enough. But he absolutely would understand if I communicated, I guess writing this helped me figure out what I’ve been feeling a little better. And we explore a lot. In the future I can see us having longer sex and me fully enjoying it without having this current feeling, but I just think that right now it’s actually harming me than doing us good. The thing is, like I said, I’m horny as FUCK for this man. I do not have the self control to not touch him but It’s so important for me to keep my hands to myself, cause when I don’t, it instantly initiates sex. And the last thing I need right now is to feed more into my feelings of being overwhelmed right now. And i never even considered just asking him to stop after 15-20 minutes cause from my POV, he is enjoying it and doesn’t want to stop, and I wanna please him, so why should I just be like OK I’m done so YOU should be done now. Bc then it makes me feel selfish. and when I say done, I don’t even mean like I came or anything. I mean done as in emotionally. Sometimes I do cum, and sometimes I don’t, but It’s not a priority for me during sex and I’d rather it just end when I start feeling overwhelmed as opposed to when I “finish”. But I wanna make him feel good so I just let him keep going until he is too tired— cause that is his limit and I want him to feel satisfied. I’m gonna try to communicate.
submitted by /u/chaiyashaiya
[link] [comments]
r/sex I don’t really know how to explain this, but I’m sure my context will be useful. Last year, I left a long term relationship and moved out. I didn’t enjoy the sex at all. There was no passion, no desire, and I felt uncomfortable. But when I would express my sexual needs, he would make me feel bad about it. I completely removed myself from my sexuality in 2020 after a conversation we had. I couldn’t masturbate anymore, I’d cry thinking about how I can’t have good sex, etc…. And then my brain just turned off and I have not gotten horny again up until…. Fairly recently. I left my ex over the summer, and I realized how absolutely disconnected I was from my sexuality after becoming involved with my new partner. And now I’m fucking horny. All the fucking time for this guy. All the time. Like as soon as I imagine him, I get wet. And I couldn’t get wet for years. I didn’t even know it was possible still. Anyways, we have been having SO much sex because I’m constantly horny for him. But, I don’t really know how to tell him that I think it has been kind of overwhelming? Even though I want to do it. It’s just a lot for me. You know? Like being touched in many ways and trying new positions and having intense sex, it really takes a toll on me. The flood of emotions and intimacy that I have been denied— and denied myself of for years was kinda just thrown onto me and I think I’m struggling a bit with it. It’s just very strong and powerful and overwhelming for me, and I think I want to have a conversation with them about how it’s a lot at once. I just don’t know how to explain it without him maybe thinking that it’s his fault and that I don’t enjoy it?Cause I do, so much so that it’s too much for me right now. And I feel bad for saying this too but it may actually be hurting our relationship as of right now but it’s hard to explain why. I am starting to associate him heavily with sex, when our relationship is NOT just sex but right now it feels like that and because I associate sex with being overwhelming and intense right now, it translates to me feeling overwhelmed by the relationship overall. Does this make sense? I am having trouble explaining this but it’s how my brain feels right now. I notice myself wishing for the sex to be shorter. Yet I don’t want it to end. I wished it lasted like 15-20 minutes and that was it. Cause after 15-20 minutes is when I start feeling that feeling of intensity and hidden anxiety. Like my brain says “alright… i have achieved everything I wanted from this experience. Let’s move on to doing something else, like talking or watching a movie.” But it keeps going and then my brain like shuts down and gets cloudy and then I begin to feel overwhelmed because the feelings are so intense and I don’t really know how to tell him that I’ve had enough. But he absolutely would understand if I communicated, I guess writing this helped me figure out what I’ve been feeling a little better. And we explore a lot. In the future I can see us having longer sex and me fully enjoying it without having this current feeling, but I just think that right now it’s actually harming me than doing us good. The thing is, like I said, I’m horny as FUCK for this man. I do not have the self control to not touch him but It’s so important for me to keep my hands to myself, cause when I don’t, it instantly initiates sex. And the last thing I need right now is to feed more into my feelings of being overwhelmed right now. And i never even considered just asking him to stop after 15-20 minutes cause from my POV, he is enjoying it and doesn’t want to stop, and I wanna please him, so why should I just be like OK I’m done so YOU should be done now. Bc then it makes me feel selfish. and when I say done, I don’t even mean like I came or anything. I mean done as in emotionally. Sometimes I do cum, and sometimes I don’t, but It’s not a priority for me during sex and I’d rather it just end when I start feeling overwhelmed as opposed to when I “finish”. But I wanna make him feel good so I just let him keep going until he is too tired— cause that is his limit and I want him to feel satisfied. I’m gonna try to communicate. submitted by /u/chaiyashaiya [link] [comments]
I don’t really know how to explain this, but I’m sure my context will be useful. Last year, I left a long term relationship and moved out. I didn’t enjoy the sex at all. There was no passion, no desire, and I felt uncomfortable. But when I would express my sexual needs, he would make me feel bad about it. I completely removed myself from my sexuality in 2020 after a conversation we had. I couldn’t masturbate anymore, I’d cry thinking about how I can’t have good sex, etc…. And then my brain just turned off and I have not gotten horny again up until…. Fairly recently. I left my ex over the summer, and I realized how absolutely disconnected I was from my sexuality after becoming involved with my new partner. And now I’m fucking horny. All the fucking time for this guy. All the time. Like as soon as I imagine him, I get wet. And I couldn’t get wet for years. I didn’t even know it was possible still. Anyways, we have been having SO much sex because I’m constantly horny for him. But, I don’t really know how to tell him that I think it has been kind of overwhelming? Even though I want to do it. It’s just a lot for me. You know? Like being touched in many ways and trying new positions and having intense sex, it really takes a toll on me. The flood of emotions and intimacy that I have been denied— and denied myself of for years was kinda just thrown onto me and I think I’m struggling a bit with it. It’s just very strong and powerful and overwhelming for me, and I think I want to have a conversation with them about how it’s a lot at once. I just don’t know how to explain it without him maybe thinking that it’s his fault and that I don’t enjoy it?Cause I do, so much so that it’s too much for me right now. And I feel bad for saying this too but it may actually be hurting our relationship as of right now but it’s hard to explain why. I am starting to associate him heavily with sex, when our relationship is NOT just sex but right now it feels like that and because I associate sex with being overwhelming and intense right now, it translates to me feeling overwhelmed by the relationship overall. Does this make sense? I am having trouble explaining this but it’s how my brain feels right now. I notice myself wishing for the sex to be shorter. Yet I don’t want it to end. I wished it lasted like 15-20 minutes and that was it. Cause after 15-20 minutes is when I start feeling that feeling of intensity and hidden anxiety. Like my brain says “alright… i have achieved everything I wanted from this experience. Let’s move on to doing something else, like talking or watching a movie.” But it keeps going and then my brain like shuts down and gets cloudy and then I begin to feel overwhelmed because the feelings are so intense and I don’t really know how to tell him that I’ve had enough. But he absolutely would understand if I communicated, I guess writing this helped me figure out what I’ve been feeling a little better. And we explore a lot. In the future I can see us having longer sex and me fully enjoying it without having this current feeling, but I just think that right now it’s actually harming me than doing us good. The thing is, like I said, I’m horny as FUCK for this man. I do not have the self control to not touch him but It’s so important for me to keep my hands to myself, cause when I don’t, it instantly initiates sex. And the last thing I need right now is to feed more into my feelings of being overwhelmed right now. And i never even considered just asking him to stop after 15-20 minutes cause from my POV, he is enjoying it and doesn’t want to stop, and I wanna please him, so why should I just be like OK I’m done so YOU should be done now. Bc then it makes me feel selfish. and when I say done, I don’t even mean like I came or anything. I mean done as in emotionally. Sometimes I do cum, and sometimes I don’t, but It’s not a priority for me during sex and I’d rather it just end when I start feeling overwhelmed as opposed to when I “finish”. But I wanna make him feel good so I just let him keep going until he is too tired— cause that is his limit and I want him to feel satisfied. I’m gonna try to communicate.
submitted by /u/chaiyashaiya
[link] [comments]