i feel like i’m being forced into a sexual relationship that my bf wants and i don’t /u/Left-Pineapple-3656 Sex

so idk if this is the right subreddit, but sex is a part of it, and i don’t really know of any other ones, so here we go

so i(17f) has been dating this boy(18m) for about 8ish months, and i really like him. he’s been super sweet, caring, and considerate with my situation in past sexual abuse, and of course. i’m 17, so i thought we were gonna last forever and that he was the most perfect person ever.

about 2-3 months ago he told me that he’s been really into ddlg for years, since he was in middle school. and he asked me if i was comfortable with having a ddlg relationship with him, i asked what exactly this relationship would consist of, i know about ddlg, and i know that every relationship is different. i kind of knew that regardless of what he thought it would consist of, i still wouldn’t want to.

he told me that he would pretty much want to do the whole 9 yards. which i immediately shut down, and said that i still want to date him, but if he’s looking for a ddlg relationship with somebody, then we need to break up and he needs to find somebody who can fufill that

he was upset that i didn’t want anything to do with ddlg, and was kind of pissy about it for a week. but eventually he came to me and apologized for acting how he did, and that he understands that i have my own feelings about things, and that they are different than his. he asked if i would be okay with being slightly “pampered”(as he put it, but by that he meant babied)

so i told him that i do not want to be babied at all, if he wants. he can open a car door every once in a while, but that i’m 100% not comfortable with being babied in any way shape or form. which he of course, was mad about. so i decided to try and negotiate with him

i told him that when we’re at his apartment(which is where we spend most of our time since it’s just the two of us)that he could do some slight babying, nothing extreme. and only at his apartment, but when we’re at my house, he has to let me be my own person, and do stuff on my own

so it’s been over a month since that conversation, and for about 2 weeks everything was going fine, honestly. i was miserable at his apartment, but i put up with it. and i started to feel that he overstepped boundaries that i had very clearly set during that conversation we had

for example, whenever i would get up to go to the bathroom(which he knew i was doing because i would either say “i’m gonna go pee” or he would ask where i was going and i would tell him” he would immediately stand up and follow me, fine, whatever we’ve seen each other pee before. but once i did my buissness he would move my hand away from toilet paper and wipe for me

i told him to stop but he just said that it’s nothing major, and that he’s just being a gentlemen, and it’s not just that. once the click hits 9:45 he tells me i need to go to bed, which i always tell him is not his decision, it’s mine. he doesn’t let me put my own glasses of anything. he gets pissy when i get anywhere near the stove or microwave.

and he does this at my house and his, which was clearly stated that i don’t want to happen.

i don’t know, i know it doesn’t sound that bad, but i hate it. i’m miserable and everytime i tell him this he just says that he’s not doing anything against our rules, and that he’s just lightly babying me, but he’s not. and he knows it.

i just need advice on what to do, i’m lost.

so idk if this is the right subreddit, but sex is a part of it, and i don’t really know of any other ones, so here we go

so i(17f) has been dating this boy(18m) for about 8ish months, and i really like him. he’s been super sweet, caring, and considerate with my situation in past sexual abuse, and of course. i’m 17, so i thought we were gonna last forever and that he was the most perfect person ever.

about 2-3 months ago he told me that he’s been really into ddlg for years, since he was in middle school. and he asked me if i was comfortable with having a ddlg relationship with him, i asked what exactly this relationship would consist of, i know about ddlg, and i know that every relationship is different. i kind of knew that regardless of what he thought it would consist of, i still wouldn’t want to.

he told me that he would pretty much want to do the whole 9 yards. which i immediately shut down, and said that i still want to date him, but if he’s looking for a ddlg relationship with somebody, then we need to break up and he needs to find somebody who can fufill that

he was upset that i didn’t want anything to do with ddlg, and was kind of pissy about it for a week. but eventually he came to me and apologized for acting how he did, and that he understands that i have my own feelings about things, and that they are different than his. he asked if i would be okay with being slightly “pampered”(as he put it, but by that he meant babied)

so i told him that i do not want to be babied at all, if he wants. he can open a car door every once in a while, but that i’m 100% not comfortable with being babied in any way shape or form. which he of course, was mad about. so i decided to try and negotiate with him

i told him that when we’re at his apartment(which is where we spend most of our time since it’s just the two of us)that he could do some slight babying, nothing extreme. and only at his apartment, but when we’re at my house, he has to let me be my own person, and do stuff on my own

so it’s been over a month since that conversation, and for about 2 weeks everything was going fine, honestly. i was miserable at his apartment, but i put up with it. and i started to feel that he overstepped boundaries that i had very clearly set during that conversation we had

for example, whenever i would get up to go to the bathroom(which he knew i was doing because i would either say “i’m gonna go pee” or he would ask where i was going and i would tell him” he would immediately stand up and follow me, fine, whatever we’ve seen each other pee before. but once i did my buissness he would move my hand away from toilet paper and wipe for me

i told him to stop but he just said that it’s nothing major, and that he’s just being a gentlemen, and it’s not just that. once the click hits 9:45 he tells me i need to go to bed, which i always tell him is not his decision, it’s mine. he doesn’t let me put my own glasses of anything. he gets pissy when i get anywhere near the stove or microwave.

and he does this at my house and his, which was clearly stated that i don’t want to happen.

i don’t know, i know it doesn’t sound that bad, but i hate it. i’m miserable and everytime i tell him this he just says that he’s not doing anything against our rules, and that he’s just lightly babying me, but he’s not. and he knows it.

i just need advice on what to do, i’m lost.