Boyfriend goes soft at the sight of a condom /u/jaundicelover Sex

My long distance boyfriend works in another city but always drives back to see me on the weekends. Today I went to visit him for the weekend, and after lots of heavy kissing and cuddling clothes started coming off. This is our first time being properly sexual with each other and seeing the other person naked. Things were going well and he was very hard from dry humping, kissing and going down on me. I asked to go down on him, but very soon after I started, he started going soft. Then he sat me on top of him and started rubbing up against each other, which got him hard again. But when it came time to put the condom on he got soft again. We stopped trying to get him hard and instead he went down on me again and doing general foreplay. He got hard again and went to put the condom on but got soft again before he even opened the packet.

I tried to be reassuring and not pay it any mind. He said this happens, where he sees a condom and he immediately goes soft. I should also add he’s not very experienced, he had one very short sexual encounter with his ex, which he said was cut short because of the same issue. He also told me he masturbates once a day, so I think this could be ED as well. I believe it’s a combination of nerves and desensitisation, but I also couldn’t help thinking that maybe it was me as well.

He’s quite a reserved person but is also is very touchy feely with me when clothes are on, but I got the feeling he became nervous once things got more heated; he did say himself that he was nervous to be sexual with me, because of lack of experience. I don’t have more partners, but I had been sleeping with one person more consistently, so I have had sex more times than he has. Though I don’t feel anymore experienced, as I was never the one taking the lead in the bedroom. Plus it’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone.

I should add, he’s quite slim but does have some chub around his belly. He goes for runs sporadically, but also eats a lot of junk food. He can eat a lot and it seems to vanish into thin air, he finds it really hard to put any weight on.

I want to help him overcome this, but don’t really know how to help. I feel like he would get into his own head too much about this, and would like to prevent that. I also worry this will affect our relationship going forward. Any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated.

My long distance boyfriend works in another city but always drives back to see me on the weekends. Today I went to visit him for the weekend, and after lots of heavy kissing and cuddling clothes started coming off. This is our first time being properly sexual with each other and seeing the other person naked. Things were going well and he was very hard from dry humping, kissing and going down on me. I asked to go down on him, but very soon after I started, he started going soft. Then he sat me on top of him and started rubbing up against each other, which got him hard again. But when it came time to put the condom on he got soft again. We stopped trying to get him hard and instead he went down on me again and doing general foreplay. He got hard again and went to put the condom on but got soft again before he even opened the packet.

I tried to be reassuring and not pay it any mind. He said this happens, where he sees a condom and he immediately goes soft. I should also add he’s not very experienced, he had one very short sexual encounter with his ex, which he said was cut short because of the same issue. He also told me he masturbates once a day, so I think this could be ED as well. I believe it’s a combination of nerves and desensitisation, but I also couldn’t help thinking that maybe it was me as well.

He’s quite a reserved person but is also is very touchy feely with me when clothes are on, but I got the feeling he became nervous once things got more heated; he did say himself that he was nervous to be sexual with me, because of lack of experience. I don’t have more partners, but I had been sleeping with one person more consistently, so I have had sex more times than he has. Though I don’t feel anymore experienced, as I was never the one taking the lead in the bedroom. Plus it’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone.

I should add, he’s quite slim but does have some chub around his belly. He goes for runs sporadically, but also eats a lot of junk food. He can eat a lot and it seems to vanish into thin air, he finds it really hard to put any weight on.

I want to help him overcome this, but don’t really know how to help. I feel like he would get into his own head too much about this, and would like to prevent that. I also worry this will affect our relationship going forward. Any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated.