20F: So wooden during sex people can’t do it with me? /u/DapperAthlete9947 Sex

I decided last year I was ready to lose my virginity and started actively pursuing people I liked for the first time. I’ve met two boys from dating so far that I just hit it off with amazingly, they were sexy as hell, loved the same films as me, and made me laugh. The only issue? Whatever chemistry I build during the talking phase I completely ruin when we take it into the bedroom.

One of the guys said I was wooden and childish, the other guy said that it made him uncomfortable when I kept asking for permission to do stuff/what he wanted like he had hired a prostitute who couldn’t think for herself. I’ve only ever gotten as far as giving a hand job/blow job and it’s so frustrating when I’m so close, like in bed naked with someone I find really hot, and I still can’t perform. For the record I do warn them that I’m a virgin and give them the heads-up, also they knew I’m on anti-anxiety meds which probably doesn’t help either.

I’m not shy about my body at all and don’t hesitate to take my clothes off before they do, so it’s not insecurity it’s more like my brain goes blank. I don’t know what to say, so I just keep quiet, and hope they’ll lead me to what they want me to do. It probably sounds like I should just foray into BDSM and start looking for dominant partners who are after that kind of girl, and won’t be disappointed by my lack of presence or input. That’s where it’s kinda funny though because both boys I’ve tried it with were more submissive with a mommy kink and the idea of that really turned me on and I flirted a lot in that kind of persona prior. I can talk a big talk but I can’t walk it.

I guess I just don’t really know what to do because I wanted to sexually find myself and have fun and explore men, but I am so awful at sex I make them uncomfortable. I am turned on by playing a dominant persona in sexting/flirting but when it comes time to deliver I am too inexperienced and just want to be taken without having to think or speak at all. Any advice for me please? Am I still not ready? What do I do?

I decided last year I was ready to lose my virginity and started actively pursuing people I liked for the first time. I’ve met two boys from dating so far that I just hit it off with amazingly, they were sexy as hell, loved the same films as me, and made me laugh. The only issue? Whatever chemistry I build during the talking phase I completely ruin when we take it into the bedroom.

One of the guys said I was wooden and childish, the other guy said that it made him uncomfortable when I kept asking for permission to do stuff/what he wanted like he had hired a prostitute who couldn’t think for herself. I’ve only ever gotten as far as giving a hand job/blow job and it’s so frustrating when I’m so close, like in bed naked with someone I find really hot, and I still can’t perform. For the record I do warn them that I’m a virgin and give them the heads-up, also they knew I’m on anti-anxiety meds which probably doesn’t help either.

I’m not shy about my body at all and don’t hesitate to take my clothes off before they do, so it’s not insecurity it’s more like my brain goes blank. I don’t know what to say, so I just keep quiet, and hope they’ll lead me to what they want me to do. It probably sounds like I should just foray into BDSM and start looking for dominant partners who are after that kind of girl, and won’t be disappointed by my lack of presence or input. That’s where it’s kinda funny though because both boys I’ve tried it with were more submissive with a mommy kink and the idea of that really turned me on and I flirted a lot in that kind of persona prior. I can talk a big talk but I can’t walk it.

I guess I just don’t really know what to do because I wanted to sexually find myself and have fun and explore men, but I am so awful at sex I make them uncomfortable. I am turned on by playing a dominant persona in sexting/flirting but when it comes time to deliver I am too inexperienced and just want to be taken without having to think or speak at all. Any advice for me please? Am I still not ready? What do I do?