I see very little online about sexual coercion towards men /u/SnooDingos2785 Sex

Mostly making this post to see if any other males have experienced anything similar, with incidents in the media surrounding the epidemic of men being sexually pushy Im possibly lookint for some validation in my experience from the other gender. I recently exited a relationship in which my partner made multiple advances on me while I was in a very sick state(which they had been made very aware of) and I declined to have sex – proposing we do it later in the evening. They persisted until they even put on Lingerie and started playing music. Feeling direct pressure from my partner, and shameful social pressure as a male to always be horny I gave in, resulting in further shame because I was unable to perform or maintain an erection to which they asked “Are you sure you want to do this” to which I replied: “Not really.”

They then began sulking, and talked about how this had occured with a previous partner and how I need to be more forthright when I decline(essentially placing much of the blame on me) which proceeded in my having to comfort them for what they did. A few days later a similar incident occured, but with wanting to make a sex tape, and I proposed we could make the video when I was feeling well and not self conscious about my body – they pushed until I gave in and even recommended I don’t look at the camera, drawing my attention towards them.

This series of events was justified at the time out of their serious anxieties about me not being able to fulfill their needs for their “Birthday week” and I sense this entitlement was actually overpowering the sick state I was in (I had to quite caffeine due to anxiety attacks weeks prior and was withdrawing). In general while visiting for their birthday I had been subject to micromanaging, passive aggression, and general pedantry.

The breakup occured when I got home, and it was their idea I be demoted to a secondary position in our polyamorous relationship, to which I declined, and the issues surrounding how I had been treated were essentially justified as them not being “trauma informed” enough – which I’m still unsure as to what that means now.

Leading to now, I feel violated and as a male I’m having difficulty validating how I had been treated and whether or not I’m correct in feeling really kicked while down. We had been communicating after the breakup, and they started flirting with me and in my obsessive reassurance seeking about how I had been treated and how that’s what I required in order me to rebuild trust – they eventually told me they can’t do that for me anx blocked me on everything. I’m now trying to repair my ability to trust people sexually, as I had also been sexually assaulted while asleep at a party by a woman in high-school and that wound is open again.

Mostly making this post to see if any other males have experienced anything similar, with incidents in the media surrounding the epidemic of men being sexually pushy Im possibly lookint for some validation in my experience from the other gender. I recently exited a relationship in which my partner made multiple advances on me while I was in a very sick state(which they had been made very aware of) and I declined to have sex – proposing we do it later in the evening. They persisted until they even put on Lingerie and started playing music. Feeling direct pressure from my partner, and shameful social pressure as a male to always be horny I gave in, resulting in further shame because I was unable to perform or maintain an erection to which they asked “Are you sure you want to do this” to which I replied: “Not really.”

They then began sulking, and talked about how this had occured with a previous partner and how I need to be more forthright when I decline(essentially placing much of the blame on me) which proceeded in my having to comfort them for what they did. A few days later a similar incident occured, but with wanting to make a sex tape, and I proposed we could make the video when I was feeling well and not self conscious about my body – they pushed until I gave in and even recommended I don’t look at the camera, drawing my attention towards them.

This series of events was justified at the time out of their serious anxieties about me not being able to fulfill their needs for their “Birthday week” and I sense this entitlement was actually overpowering the sick state I was in (I had to quite caffeine due to anxiety attacks weeks prior and was withdrawing). In general while visiting for their birthday I had been subject to micromanaging, passive aggression, and general pedantry.

The breakup occured when I got home, and it was their idea I be demoted to a secondary position in our polyamorous relationship, to which I declined, and the issues surrounding how I had been treated were essentially justified as them not being “trauma informed” enough – which I’m still unsure as to what that means now.

Leading to now, I feel violated and as a male I’m having difficulty validating how I had been treated and whether or not I’m correct in feeling really kicked while down. We had been communicating after the breakup, and they started flirting with me and in my obsessive reassurance seeking about how I had been treated and how that’s what I required in order me to rebuild trust – they eventually told me they can’t do that for me anx blocked me on everything. I’m now trying to repair my ability to trust people sexually, as I had also been sexually assaulted while asleep at a party by a woman in high-school and that wound is open again.