I am a “giver” but my new girlfriend is on hormones and can’t get off. /u/SpudSomething Sex

I (36F) am dating a (41) MTF trans woman who has been taking hormones for a long time, has grown small breasts, and is going to have bottom surgery in 9 months. I have always been a giver in sex. I love making women feel good, safe, excited and yes, also to give them orgasms.

My girlfriend loves when I “take charge” and, for instance, hold her arms down above her head in bed, or push her up against a wall when we make out. She also enjoys when I pay attention to her breasts, and she is pretty sensitive in her nipples. So I spend a lot of time there! (Easy to do since I am super into her breasts anyway!) We have included her penis in some of our sex. But most of the time, she does not want me to pay it much attention. Which is all fine with me.

My main issue right now is that from what she has told me, it is impossible for me to make her cum. I have briefly breached the subject of sex toys, but don’t have a good feel yet on what she might be interested in. I was thinking that my vibrator might feel good on her perinium (taint) and/or somewhere between us when we have more “traditional” lesbian sex, such as grinding. I don’t want her to think that I am not satisfied with our sex life so far, especially since we are in a very new relationship. But I also don’t want her to sell herself short if there are ways I can make her feel really good.

We do have great, open communication, but for some reason, this has really been hard for me to make sense of, and to have good ideas. I am grateful for advice!!

I (36F) am dating a (41) MTF trans woman who has been taking hormones for a long time, has grown small breasts, and is going to have bottom surgery in 9 months. I have always been a giver in sex. I love making women feel good, safe, excited and yes, also to give them orgasms.

My girlfriend loves when I “take charge” and, for instance, hold her arms down above her head in bed, or push her up against a wall when we make out. She also enjoys when I pay attention to her breasts, and she is pretty sensitive in her nipples. So I spend a lot of time there! (Easy to do since I am super into her breasts anyway!) We have included her penis in some of our sex. But most of the time, she does not want me to pay it much attention. Which is all fine with me.

My main issue right now is that from what she has told me, it is impossible for me to make her cum. I have briefly breached the subject of sex toys, but don’t have a good feel yet on what she might be interested in. I was thinking that my vibrator might feel good on her perinium (taint) and/or somewhere between us when we have more “traditional” lesbian sex, such as grinding. I don’t want her to think that I am not satisfied with our sex life so far, especially since we are in a very new relationship. But I also don’t want her to sell herself short if there are ways I can make her feel really good.

We do have great, open communication, but for some reason, this has really been hard for me to make sense of, and to have good ideas. I am grateful for advice!!