Someone please help…my husband and I are both 25 years old and have been married for a little over 3 years but we are struggling to have a good sex life. I love him with all my heart and he couldn’t be a more perfect husband, he’s my best friend but we struggle with intimacy. When we were first married, we were caught up in the passion of if all being so new that I didn’t care so much about my pleasure. We were doing it just to do it and I was okay with that. Not long after, I wanted to feel the same type of pleasure he was feeling and orgasm during sex. We have been trying ever since to get me there. I know a lot of its mental and I try my best to relax and to let him know what feels good but he just doesn’t seem to be getting it. I move his hands here and there and he’ll linger for a second or two but then move on to try something else. Inevitably, I end up unsatisfied and after sex I emotionally crash. The post sex feels like failure, and the sadness takes the wind out of me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried over this and I know it makes him sad too. I feel guilty for making him feel bad because I know he’s truly trying his best we just don’t seem to be on the same page sexually. I know I can get myself there quickly but what works for me solo doesn’t seem to translate to us trying it together. I’m not saying it’s never happened but I can count on one hand how many times I’ve orgasmed during sex. We’ve tried toys here and there but both of us were raised deeply religious and the shame I feel for using toys absolutely gets in the way of my pleasure, it almost feels counterproductive. Now I’m here, scared to try again for the fear of the sadness I’ll feel after, afraid for him to see me disappointed and unsatisfied again. I once heard someone say good sex accounts for 10% of a relationship and bad sex accounts for 90% of the problems in a relationship. I couldn’t agree more. This is weighing on me heavily and I dream of having passionate sex with my husband. He wants to start a family in the next year and the resentment I would feel to have a child by sex that wasn’t even pleasurable sounds like a million more problems waiting to happen. I don’t know what else to do….
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r/sex Someone please help…my husband and I are both 25 years old and have been married for a little over 3 years but we are struggling to have a good sex life. I love him with all my heart and he couldn’t be a more perfect husband, he’s my best friend but we struggle with intimacy. When we were first married, we were caught up in the passion of if all being so new that I didn’t care so much about my pleasure. We were doing it just to do it and I was okay with that. Not long after, I wanted to feel the same type of pleasure he was feeling and orgasm during sex. We have been trying ever since to get me there. I know a lot of its mental and I try my best to relax and to let him know what feels good but he just doesn’t seem to be getting it. I move his hands here and there and he’ll linger for a second or two but then move on to try something else. Inevitably, I end up unsatisfied and after sex I emotionally crash. The post sex feels like failure, and the sadness takes the wind out of me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried over this and I know it makes him sad too. I feel guilty for making him feel bad because I know he’s truly trying his best we just don’t seem to be on the same page sexually. I know I can get myself there quickly but what works for me solo doesn’t seem to translate to us trying it together. I’m not saying it’s never happened but I can count on one hand how many times I’ve orgasmed during sex. We’ve tried toys here and there but both of us were raised deeply religious and the shame I feel for using toys absolutely gets in the way of my pleasure, it almost feels counterproductive. Now I’m here, scared to try again for the fear of the sadness I’ll feel after, afraid for him to see me disappointed and unsatisfied again. I once heard someone say good sex accounts for 10% of a relationship and bad sex accounts for 90% of the problems in a relationship. I couldn’t agree more. This is weighing on me heavily and I dream of having passionate sex with my husband. He wants to start a family in the next year and the resentment I would feel to have a child by sex that wasn’t even pleasurable sounds like a million more problems waiting to happen. I don’t know what else to do…. submitted by /u/SimpleSufficient598 [link] [comments]
Someone please help…my husband and I are both 25 years old and have been married for a little over 3 years but we are struggling to have a good sex life. I love him with all my heart and he couldn’t be a more perfect husband, he’s my best friend but we struggle with intimacy. When we were first married, we were caught up in the passion of if all being so new that I didn’t care so much about my pleasure. We were doing it just to do it and I was okay with that. Not long after, I wanted to feel the same type of pleasure he was feeling and orgasm during sex. We have been trying ever since to get me there. I know a lot of its mental and I try my best to relax and to let him know what feels good but he just doesn’t seem to be getting it. I move his hands here and there and he’ll linger for a second or two but then move on to try something else. Inevitably, I end up unsatisfied and after sex I emotionally crash. The post sex feels like failure, and the sadness takes the wind out of me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried over this and I know it makes him sad too. I feel guilty for making him feel bad because I know he’s truly trying his best we just don’t seem to be on the same page sexually. I know I can get myself there quickly but what works for me solo doesn’t seem to translate to us trying it together. I’m not saying it’s never happened but I can count on one hand how many times I’ve orgasmed during sex. We’ve tried toys here and there but both of us were raised deeply religious and the shame I feel for using toys absolutely gets in the way of my pleasure, it almost feels counterproductive. Now I’m here, scared to try again for the fear of the sadness I’ll feel after, afraid for him to see me disappointed and unsatisfied again. I once heard someone say good sex accounts for 10% of a relationship and bad sex accounts for 90% of the problems in a relationship. I couldn’t agree more. This is weighing on me heavily and I dream of having passionate sex with my husband. He wants to start a family in the next year and the resentment I would feel to have a child by sex that wasn’t even pleasurable sounds like a million more problems waiting to happen. I don’t know what else to do….
submitted by /u/SimpleSufficient598
[link] [comments]