Our sex life could use some improvement…it’s overall pretty good, solid B. But there are so many ways we could be having really great sex but aren’t. For about the last six years we’ve been in kind of survival mode–between the pandemic and pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and sleep deprivation of two kids, our standard was just a PIV quickie. But now the kids are sleeping well, I’m in the best shape of my life, and I just want MORE. Not just more frequency, more fulfilling, connecting, interesting, fun sex. I’m at a point that I want to have really great sex. All our parts work, so why not?
The problem is that my husband doesn’t receive feedback well at all. I read books galore and listen to podcasts, read online articles and subreddits, etc. I try to distill the most relevant parts down for my husband. But it doesn’t really matter what it is, he doesn’t take it to heart. I send him an article, he doesn’t read it. I give him feedback, he’s defensive. I tell him what I want/like, he never employs it. It’s getting to the point that the sex is the main problem in our marriage. I’m not fulfilled, he’s ambivalent. I can’t tell if my feedback is making him defensive, if he’s truly not interested (in sex that is, he is by all appearances still very attracted to me), or if he’s just selfish.
How do I get over this hurdle? I feel like the only choices I have are to generate sexual scarcity, give up, or throw a fit. I’m a generous, creative lover, but with it being so one sided, I’m starting to get resentful.
submitted by /u/Timely-Space5450
[link] [comments]
r/sex Our sex life could use some improvement…it’s overall pretty good, solid B. But there are so many ways we could be having really great sex but aren’t. For about the last six years we’ve been in kind of survival mode–between the pandemic and pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and sleep deprivation of two kids, our standard was just a PIV quickie. But now the kids are sleeping well, I’m in the best shape of my life, and I just want MORE. Not just more frequency, more fulfilling, connecting, interesting, fun sex. I’m at a point that I want to have really great sex. All our parts work, so why not? The problem is that my husband doesn’t receive feedback well at all. I read books galore and listen to podcasts, read online articles and subreddits, etc. I try to distill the most relevant parts down for my husband. But it doesn’t really matter what it is, he doesn’t take it to heart. I send him an article, he doesn’t read it. I give him feedback, he’s defensive. I tell him what I want/like, he never employs it. It’s getting to the point that the sex is the main problem in our marriage. I’m not fulfilled, he’s ambivalent. I can’t tell if my feedback is making him defensive, if he’s truly not interested (in sex that is, he is by all appearances still very attracted to me), or if he’s just selfish. How do I get over this hurdle? I feel like the only choices I have are to generate sexual scarcity, give up, or throw a fit. I’m a generous, creative lover, but with it being so one sided, I’m starting to get resentful. submitted by /u/Timely-Space5450 [link] [comments]
Our sex life could use some improvement…it’s overall pretty good, solid B. But there are so many ways we could be having really great sex but aren’t. For about the last six years we’ve been in kind of survival mode–between the pandemic and pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and sleep deprivation of two kids, our standard was just a PIV quickie. But now the kids are sleeping well, I’m in the best shape of my life, and I just want MORE. Not just more frequency, more fulfilling, connecting, interesting, fun sex. I’m at a point that I want to have really great sex. All our parts work, so why not?
The problem is that my husband doesn’t receive feedback well at all. I read books galore and listen to podcasts, read online articles and subreddits, etc. I try to distill the most relevant parts down for my husband. But it doesn’t really matter what it is, he doesn’t take it to heart. I send him an article, he doesn’t read it. I give him feedback, he’s defensive. I tell him what I want/like, he never employs it. It’s getting to the point that the sex is the main problem in our marriage. I’m not fulfilled, he’s ambivalent. I can’t tell if my feedback is making him defensive, if he’s truly not interested (in sex that is, he is by all appearances still very attracted to me), or if he’s just selfish.
How do I get over this hurdle? I feel like the only choices I have are to generate sexual scarcity, give up, or throw a fit. I’m a generous, creative lover, but with it being so one sided, I’m starting to get resentful.
submitted by /u/Timely-Space5450
[link] [comments]