My Bfs taste in porn scares me /u/TypicalIndividual409 Sex

Apologies in advance for the length, but I need advice and don’t feel comfortable going to anyone I know irl with this.

I was using my partners phone to scroll Reddit because mine had died. I went to type something in the search box, and I saw his recent searches. The most recent was from a certain sub I recognised to be named after a place in Italy, and it was marked as nsfw. I was curious as to how a location could be nsfw, so I clicked on the sub. I deeply regret this.

It’s a porn subreddit that depicts women being violently assaulted/ mutilated/ raped / even murdered. These are of course depicted through cartoons, not actual women. I saw he had upvoted a fair few videos.

He was sat next to me and snatched his phone back when he saw what I was looking at. He said he was only searching for that because it was mentioned in another thread about the most fucked up subreddits, however due to his upvotes I don’t think I believe him.

I didn’t tell him I don’t believe him, I didn’t say anything about it, I just changed the topic. I understand sometimes you get curious and might look at some weird porn. I don’t want him to feel ashamed or embarrassed.

But I can’t stop thinking about it now. How can someone enjoy watching women in these scenarios? I understand cnc, like both parties are fully consenting prior. But this- the sheer violence towards women. Some being murdered in brutal ways that made me feel sick. How can that be a turn on? It honestly scares me. I can’t look at him the same.

I started putting things together in my head, like how he refuses to do foreplay despite me telling him it can be painful if I’m not fully turned on and wet. Like how I agreed to do anal with the condition that he “warm me up first” so to speak, meaning not just to go straight in with his dick no lube. I explained to him this would be painful, and he lost interest in anal after I stipulated this condition. I thought maybe this was due to his previous sexual inexperience, or maybe he didn’t want to put in extra work, but now I’m not sure.

After seeing that porn sub he was on, I’m starting to worry he enjoys seeing me in pain during sex. Which I get it can be kinky, but without my informed consent it feels icky. I feel a bit scared of him now to be honest.

Can anyone with this kink maybe explain to me the rationale behind it? I’m trying to be accepting and understanding, but I’m finding it quite difficult. Does he want to see me in pain? Maybe I’m overreacting, I don’t know, but any advice is appreciated. I love him and don’t want to break up.

Thanks for reading, sorry for the rant.

Apologies in advance for the length, but I need advice and don’t feel comfortable going to anyone I know irl with this.

I was using my partners phone to scroll Reddit because mine had died. I went to type something in the search box, and I saw his recent searches. The most recent was from a certain sub I recognised to be named after a place in Italy, and it was marked as nsfw. I was curious as to how a location could be nsfw, so I clicked on the sub. I deeply regret this.

It’s a porn subreddit that depicts women being violently assaulted/ mutilated/ raped / even murdered. These are of course depicted through cartoons, not actual women. I saw he had upvoted a fair few videos.

He was sat next to me and snatched his phone back when he saw what I was looking at. He said he was only searching for that because it was mentioned in another thread about the most fucked up subreddits, however due to his upvotes I don’t think I believe him.

I didn’t tell him I don’t believe him, I didn’t say anything about it, I just changed the topic. I understand sometimes you get curious and might look at some weird porn. I don’t want him to feel ashamed or embarrassed.

But I can’t stop thinking about it now. How can someone enjoy watching women in these scenarios? I understand cnc, like both parties are fully consenting prior. But this- the sheer violence towards women. Some being murdered in brutal ways that made me feel sick. How can that be a turn on? It honestly scares me. I can’t look at him the same.

I started putting things together in my head, like how he refuses to do foreplay despite me telling him it can be painful if I’m not fully turned on and wet. Like how I agreed to do anal with the condition that he “warm me up first” so to speak, meaning not just to go straight in with his dick no lube. I explained to him this would be painful, and he lost interest in anal after I stipulated this condition. I thought maybe this was due to his previous sexual inexperience, or maybe he didn’t want to put in extra work, but now I’m not sure.

After seeing that porn sub he was on, I’m starting to worry he enjoys seeing me in pain during sex. Which I get it can be kinky, but without my informed consent it feels icky. I feel a bit scared of him now to be honest.

Can anyone with this kink maybe explain to me the rationale behind it? I’m trying to be accepting and understanding, but I’m finding it quite difficult. Does he want to see me in pain? Maybe I’m overreacting, I don’t know, but any advice is appreciated. I love him and don’t want to break up.

Thanks for reading, sorry for the rant.