Hello and thanks for reading!
I’m really sorry if this reads like a bad smut novel, but my girlfriend and I are having an ethical conundrum, and we would really love someone’s outside perspective on it. I’m adding backstory for context, so read the Tl;Dr if you don’t want all that.
It appears that very soon, my girlfriend and I will have the opportunity to swing with my longtime best friend and his fiancée.
I’ve been with my current girlfriend 2 years, 8 months. She’s intelligent, funny, dorky, and fiercly loyal. I’ve had (too) many relationships that have lasted exactly 2 1/2 years, but this one’s now officially surpassed that, and so far, it’s still been magical.
I’ve known my best friend for 17 years. We went through Middle, High School, and College together. We were in a band together for years, and even lived together in a band house for a time. Friends come and go, but he’s someone I hope I get to know for the rest of my life.
And his fiancée, who has been with him for about 3 1/2 years, is absolutely perfect for him. She’s charming, energetic, and sweet as can be. She also lived with all of us for quite a while, and has fit right into our little family. She has also become one of the most important people in my life.
The 4 of us are all very close, and very comfortable, so we’ve had a bit of a flirtatious history, especially when alcohol is involved. A couple years back, we all skinny dipped together at a nude lake on a camping trip. At the beginning of my relationship, my friend and his fiancée dropped that they were absolutely down up with us, with his fiancée once saying she would “rock her (my girlfriend’s) world.”
She and I never took this seriously, as even though I am polyamorous and have been with multiple partners in the past, my girlfriend is not, so we’ve been happily monogamous. For context, I’m straight, while my girlfriend is bi-curious, and has ever only kissed a girl. My best friend will kiss a man, or is “bi from the waist-up” as he calls it, and his fiancée is proudly bi, though has only ever had 1 female partner.
On New Years’ Eve, we went to their apartment and had way, way too many drinks, and eventually found ourselves in our underwear, playing video games, and waiting for the ball to drop.
At midnight, his fiancée and my girlfriend passionately kissed for a few seconds. After that, there was more flirting and drinking, but eventually, we all went off to bed.
That was a few weeks ago, and my girlfriend and I are still unsure about how to handle this situation. On the one hand, like I said, we’re all very comfortable, so it’d probably be fun. My girlfriend herself said, “I always thought that if I was to do it with someone, that it would likely be those two.”
Also, while this isn’t the point, it is worth mentioning that my friend’s fiancée is a drop-dead g o r g e o u s redhead, a 10/10 for sure. She’s a personal trainer, and former track star, so, enough said.
On the other hand, while I am poly, and have been with multiple partners, I’m nervous specifically about what this would do for our relationships.
Firstly, I’m worried about adding in a poly element to our monogamous relationship, as that has, in my friends’ experiences, been a recipe for disaster. I know we could trust each other enough to do this, but how will that change our dynamic? And where does it end? Does this continue with other couples or is this a one-time thing?
Secondly, what will this mean for my relationship with my best friend and his fiancée moving forward? I plan to know these two for the rest of my life. Even as comfortable as we are, I worry jumping to this level of intimacy could backfire and ruin our friendship. And where does hooking up with them end?
Again, being poly, it’s not the sex part that’s weird for me, but I guess I’m just afraid of ruining my relationship with the 3 most important people in my life. That could all just be anxiety though.
So that’s our situation. What should we do? I hope someone out there has wisdom, either from personal experience or the experiences of others. I’m happy to add more context questions if you need them. We’re going back over this weekend and, well, I want to be prepared one way or another.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks again!
TL;DR: My best friend of 17 years and his fiancée want to swing with my girlfriend and I. We’re both intrigued, but are worried about the long-term effects it will have on our relationships.
Edit: The reason I referenced polyamory is to just show that I’m not unfamiliar with multiple partners, at once or otherwise, and to state that jealousy is not a factor here. I am aware that poly and swinging are not the same thing.
submitted by /u/Sinaskafitch
[link] [comments]
r/sex Hello and thanks for reading! I’m really sorry if this reads like a bad smut novel, but my girlfriend and I are having an ethical conundrum, and we would really love someone’s outside perspective on it. I’m adding backstory for context, so read the Tl;Dr if you don’t want all that. It appears that very soon, my girlfriend and I will have the opportunity to swing with my longtime best friend and his fiancée. I’ve been with my current girlfriend 2 years, 8 months. She’s intelligent, funny, dorky, and fiercly loyal. I’ve had (too) many relationships that have lasted exactly 2 1/2 years, but this one’s now officially surpassed that, and so far, it’s still been magical. I’ve known my best friend for 17 years. We went through Middle, High School, and College together. We were in a band together for years, and even lived together in a band house for a time. Friends come and go, but he’s someone I hope I get to know for the rest of my life. And his fiancée, who has been with him for about 3 1/2 years, is absolutely perfect for him. She’s charming, energetic, and sweet as can be. She also lived with all of us for quite a while, and has fit right into our little family. She has also become one of the most important people in my life. The 4 of us are all very close, and very comfortable, so we’ve had a bit of a flirtatious history, especially when alcohol is involved. A couple years back, we all skinny dipped together at a nude lake on a camping trip. At the beginning of my relationship, my friend and his fiancée dropped that they were absolutely down up with us, with his fiancée once saying she would “rock her (my girlfriend’s) world.” She and I never took this seriously, as even though I am polyamorous and have been with multiple partners in the past, my girlfriend is not, so we’ve been happily monogamous. For context, I’m straight, while my girlfriend is bi-curious, and has ever only kissed a girl. My best friend will kiss a man, or is “bi from the waist-up” as he calls it, and his fiancée is proudly bi, though has only ever had 1 female partner. On New Years’ Eve, we went to their apartment and had way, way too many drinks, and eventually found ourselves in our underwear, playing video games, and waiting for the ball to drop. At midnight, his fiancée and my girlfriend passionately kissed for a few seconds. After that, there was more flirting and drinking, but eventually, we all went off to bed. That was a few weeks ago, and my girlfriend and I are still unsure about how to handle this situation. On the one hand, like I said, we’re all very comfortable, so it’d probably be fun. My girlfriend herself said, “I always thought that if I was to do it with someone, that it would likely be those two.” Also, while this isn’t the point, it is worth mentioning that my friend’s fiancée is a drop-dead g o r g e o u s redhead, a 10/10 for sure. She’s a personal trainer, and former track star, so, enough said. On the other hand, while I am poly, and have been with multiple partners, I’m nervous specifically about what this would do for our relationships. Firstly, I’m worried about adding in a poly element to our monogamous relationship, as that has, in my friends’ experiences, been a recipe for disaster. I know we could trust each other enough to do this, but how will that change our dynamic? And where does it end? Does this continue with other couples or is this a one-time thing? Secondly, what will this mean for my relationship with my best friend and his fiancée moving forward? I plan to know these two for the rest of my life. Even as comfortable as we are, I worry jumping to this level of intimacy could backfire and ruin our friendship. And where does hooking up with them end? Again, being poly, it’s not the sex part that’s weird for me, but I guess I’m just afraid of ruining my relationship with the 3 most important people in my life. That could all just be anxiety though. So that’s our situation. What should we do? I hope someone out there has wisdom, either from personal experience or the experiences of others. I’m happy to add more context questions if you need them. We’re going back over this weekend and, well, I want to be prepared one way or another. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks again! TL;DR: My best friend of 17 years and his fiancée want to swing with my girlfriend and I. We’re both intrigued, but are worried about the long-term effects it will have on our relationships. Edit: The reason I referenced polyamory is to just show that I’m not unfamiliar with multiple partners, at once or otherwise, and to state that jealousy is not a factor here. I am aware that poly and swinging are not the same thing. submitted by /u/Sinaskafitch [link] [comments]
Hello and thanks for reading!
I’m really sorry if this reads like a bad smut novel, but my girlfriend and I are having an ethical conundrum, and we would really love someone’s outside perspective on it. I’m adding backstory for context, so read the Tl;Dr if you don’t want all that.
It appears that very soon, my girlfriend and I will have the opportunity to swing with my longtime best friend and his fiancée.
I’ve been with my current girlfriend 2 years, 8 months. She’s intelligent, funny, dorky, and fiercly loyal. I’ve had (too) many relationships that have lasted exactly 2 1/2 years, but this one’s now officially surpassed that, and so far, it’s still been magical.
I’ve known my best friend for 17 years. We went through Middle, High School, and College together. We were in a band together for years, and even lived together in a band house for a time. Friends come and go, but he’s someone I hope I get to know for the rest of my life.
And his fiancée, who has been with him for about 3 1/2 years, is absolutely perfect for him. She’s charming, energetic, and sweet as can be. She also lived with all of us for quite a while, and has fit right into our little family. She has also become one of the most important people in my life.
The 4 of us are all very close, and very comfortable, so we’ve had a bit of a flirtatious history, especially when alcohol is involved. A couple years back, we all skinny dipped together at a nude lake on a camping trip. At the beginning of my relationship, my friend and his fiancée dropped that they were absolutely down up with us, with his fiancée once saying she would “rock her (my girlfriend’s) world.”
She and I never took this seriously, as even though I am polyamorous and have been with multiple partners in the past, my girlfriend is not, so we’ve been happily monogamous. For context, I’m straight, while my girlfriend is bi-curious, and has ever only kissed a girl. My best friend will kiss a man, or is “bi from the waist-up” as he calls it, and his fiancée is proudly bi, though has only ever had 1 female partner.
On New Years’ Eve, we went to their apartment and had way, way too many drinks, and eventually found ourselves in our underwear, playing video games, and waiting for the ball to drop.
At midnight, his fiancée and my girlfriend passionately kissed for a few seconds. After that, there was more flirting and drinking, but eventually, we all went off to bed.
That was a few weeks ago, and my girlfriend and I are still unsure about how to handle this situation. On the one hand, like I said, we’re all very comfortable, so it’d probably be fun. My girlfriend herself said, “I always thought that if I was to do it with someone, that it would likely be those two.”
Also, while this isn’t the point, it is worth mentioning that my friend’s fiancée is a drop-dead g o r g e o u s redhead, a 10/10 for sure. She’s a personal trainer, and former track star, so, enough said.
On the other hand, while I am poly, and have been with multiple partners, I’m nervous specifically about what this would do for our relationships.
Firstly, I’m worried about adding in a poly element to our monogamous relationship, as that has, in my friends’ experiences, been a recipe for disaster. I know we could trust each other enough to do this, but how will that change our dynamic? And where does it end? Does this continue with other couples or is this a one-time thing?
Secondly, what will this mean for my relationship with my best friend and his fiancée moving forward? I plan to know these two for the rest of my life. Even as comfortable as we are, I worry jumping to this level of intimacy could backfire and ruin our friendship. And where does hooking up with them end?
Again, being poly, it’s not the sex part that’s weird for me, but I guess I’m just afraid of ruining my relationship with the 3 most important people in my life. That could all just be anxiety though.
So that’s our situation. What should we do? I hope someone out there has wisdom, either from personal experience or the experiences of others. I’m happy to add more context questions if you need them. We’re going back over this weekend and, well, I want to be prepared one way or another.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks again!
TL;DR: My best friend of 17 years and his fiancée want to swing with my girlfriend and I. We’re both intrigued, but are worried about the long-term effects it will have on our relationships.
Edit: The reason I referenced polyamory is to just show that I’m not unfamiliar with multiple partners, at once or otherwise, and to state that jealousy is not a factor here. I am aware that poly and swinging are not the same thing.
submitted by /u/Sinaskafitch
[link] [comments]